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〃Please don't refuse me outright； my lady；〃 Conall pleaded。 〃Consider carefully what I'm asking。 I…know that you are under vows。 But the vows are temporary。 And I… also know that you…were considering giving them up for another Haldane prince。〃
〃Who told you that？〃 she demanded。
He could feel her probing at his shields； but he only stiffened them and met her searching eyes； though he pretended to shrink a little from the pressure。
〃Please don't；〃 he whispered； relaxing a little as she backed off without further attempt to pry。 〃I'm still learning what I am。〃
〃Forgive me；〃 she replied。 〃I never would have pressed you against your will。〃
〃I know that。〃
〃But…who told you？〃 she insisted。
〃Why； who do you think told me？ Kelson was my cousin。 We often talked。 I…know about your leave…taking； and… by what little margin he spared your virtue that last night before we left。〃
And that was all literally true； as far as it went…just in case she should be able to Truth…Read him without his knowledge。 She blanched and glanced down guiltily at her hand； still laid flat on the page other breviary； and suddenly Conall guessed what lay beneath。
Then her resistance seemed to crumple； her shoulders slumping as she slowly picked up what lay beneath her hand and then exposed it on her open palm。 It was the ring Kelson had given to Sidana on their wedding day； threaded on a thin white silken cord crumpled around it。
〃I did not think he would tell anyone； my lord；〃 she whispered。 〃Nor did I think you and he were that close。 Dhugal； perhaps； but…〃
〃I have told no one else； my lady；〃 Conall said gently。 〃Your honor is safe with me。〃
〃I do not doubt that； sir。〃
She turned the ring in her fingers a few times； then glanced up at him wistfully； sniffling back tears。
〃Do you believe in magic； my lord？〃 she asked softly。
He nodded； not daring to speak。
〃Of course you do；〃 she whispered； answering her own question。 〃You are a Haldane； your own peculiar form of magic already manifesting。 How could you not believe？〃 She glanced at the ring in her hand and slowly shook her head。
〃But the magic can go awry； sometimes；〃 she went on。 〃Sometimes； when we wish too hard； we can jinx the very thing we most desire。 It is not unmon。 I should have known better。 But I allowed myself to dream； before the magic was acplished。 And I shall pay for my presumption for the rest of my life。〃
He cocked his head 〃at her； not sure he understood what she was trying to say。
〃Your presumption？〃 he murmured。
She shook her head。 〃The ring was not given in pledge。 He made that quite clear； before he even gave it to me。 It was meant only as a token that he had put the past aside； that he was ready to start considering the future。 He was only just beginning to let himself release his own guilt over the Princess Sidana's death…though no one blamed him； surely。 We…spoke about the possibility of…marriage； when he returned； after both of us had had time to think。 But he asked me not to wear the ring； for it was tainted with her blood。〃
〃Then； what presumption was there on your part？〃 Conall asked。
She shook her head sadly。 〃Sometimes； my lord； a woman lets herself dream on what might be。 And sometimes； even the magic of an ordinary woman is strong enough to make it actually happen。 For one of us； however…〃
A stifled sob escaped her lips； and it was several seconds before she could go on。
〃A week ago…it must have been just before the accident…I let myself imagine what it would be like； to wed him。 There was no harm in that； alone。 Nor was it the first time I had fantasized thus； though my abbess would be shocked to learn of it…and Father Ambros was shocked； at first。
〃But then I dared to put Sidana's ring on my finger… poor； doomed princess…imagining that it was the king who gave it。 Only； it was the giver of the ring who perished this time…not the recipient。 The king must have…met his accident very shortly after that。〃
〃But； surely you don't think you caused the accident；〃 Conall said。 〃That's nonsense。〃
〃Is it？〃 She glanced down at the ring； then closed it in her palm。 〃My mind tells me you are right； my lord；〃 she whispered； 〃but my heart will never be certain。 I know too well how great our power can be…sometimes when we least expect it。 Now that…now that you have moved closer to the throne； you will be discovering that for yourself； I think。 Indeed； by your shields； I think you already are。 God grant that it may be long before you must face the full power of what you are…and that you may never need to face the uncertainty； as I must do； of wondering whether your powers destroyed the very thing you most desired。〃
〃Then； you did intend to marry Kelson；〃 Conall breathed。
She nodded slowly。
〃The letter requesting dispensation from my vows had already been sent to Archbishop Cardiel…though I doubt not that it has gone astray between here and Valoret； what with His Excellency now returned to Rhemuth。 It will find him eventually； however。 And when it does； I shall ask that he not act upon it。〃
〃I see；〃 Conall murmured； hope sinking in his breast as he realized she meant to continue in religious life。 〃But； will they take you back？ Won't the mere act of asking for dispensation cast doubt upon your vocation？〃
She bowed her head。 〃I did not tell my abbess that I wrote to the archbishop；〃 she said。 〃Father Ambros knows； for he has lately been my confessor。 I discussed the matter fully with him。 But he is bound under the seal of the confessional…and I shall ask Archbishop Cardiel to destroy the letter when it arrives； preferably without reading it first。〃
〃Please don't；〃 Conall whispered。
〃And why should I not？ In retrospect； I must wonder whether all that has happened is not God's way of telling me He still desires me for His bride。 They say He is a jealous lover。〃
〃And I； too； can be a jealous lover； Rothana；〃 Conall said。 〃Be my bride。〃
〃Thou shalt not mock the Lord thy God；〃 she murmured。
〃I do not mock Him。 But I do not think a god of the spirit has great need of things of the flesh。 I have never favored the practice of cloistering young virgins to spend their youth and beauty in service to a God Who cannot appreciate their charms。〃
〃You must not blaspheme； my lord；〃 she managed to whisper； not daring to look at him。 And she gasped and closed her eyes as Conall brushed two tentative fingertips against the back of her hand that clasped Sidana's ring。
〃You and I are flesh； Rothana；〃 Conall said softly。 〃How can I make you understand what your very presence does to me？ You are everything a man could possibly desire。 I think I have wanted you from the first time I set eyes on you。 I only held back asking because of Kelson。 But he's dead now； and one day I'll be king。 And this Haldane has no less need for you as queen than he did。 Gwynedd needs you as well； Rothana。〃
Her face flamed； and she bowed her head into her empty hand to hide it as she clutched the other； with Sidana's ring； closer to her breast。
〃Do not lay that upon me as well； my lord；〃 she whispered。 〃I was bred to duty。 I know full well what Gwynedd's queen must be； to rule beside a Haldane king。 How can you ask it； knowing what I've told you？〃
Conall smiled； for