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r father save to prolong his agony a few more minutes。 He would not have chosen that； I think。 You were there。 You know how he suffered。〃
〃Aye。〃 Kelson swallowed down the lump rising in his throat and looked away for a few seconds； shutting himself off from the mental query of Morgan and even Dhugal's timid attempt to fort。 He tried not to look at the flask still on the table before him。
〃So；〃 he finally said； risking a glance at Arilan again。 〃You've had the flask all this time。 Why bring it out now？〃
〃I think you know。〃
Very deliberately； Arilan reached into his cassock and pulled out a small； stoppered glass vial； which he set deliberately beside the flask。
〃It's time you faced the thing that can set all your powers at naught。 Sire；〃 he said。 〃You've never experienced merasha disruption directly。 Nor has Dhugal。 For Deryni fortunate enough to receive formal training； it's an important part of that training； because even though merasha is probably the single most devastating substance that can be employed against our powers； an informed subject can sometimes minimize the effects and even use some of them to his advantage。 Duncan can attest to that； I'm sure。〃
Tight…lipped； Duncan nodded； covering one of Dhugal's hands with his own； and Kelson shifted an accusing glance to Morgan。
〃Alaric； did you know about this？〃 he demanded。
Morgan drew a deep breath and let it out audibly。
〃Not about the flask； no。 Duncan and I had discussed with Arilan the need to expose you to merasha before you left on your summer progress。 We had agreed that tonight was the logical time to do it。 I didn't tell you； because I didn't want you to be apprehensive about that when you needed all your concentration for the hearing this morning。 As you may have gathered； however； I was not expecting him to produce the very merasha that Brion was given。 That was a foul blow； Arilan。〃
Arilan spread both hands in a gesture of conciliation。 For that； I apologize。 I had not realized the wounds were still so raw。 But it seemed a vivid way of underlining why it's important they face merasha。 In that； at least； I believe I have made my point。〃
〃Amply；〃 Kelson muttered。 He picked up the stoppered vial and held it to the light； conjuring handfire with his empty fend to see it better。 Through the greenish glass； he could just make out the shadow of a clear liquid filling it halfway。 He shivered as he put it back down and quenched the handfire with an impatient closing of his fist。
〃So； that's merasha。〃
He glanced uneasily at Dhugal； who looked even more apprehensive than he himself felt； then made his gaze continue on around the table to Duncan； solemn and sympathetic； no doubt remembering his own most recent brush with the drug； to Nigel； who was trying hard not to transmit jus dry…throated fear to the rest of them； full of dread even though he was not being asked to endure the testing； past the inscrutable…looking Arilan； and on； at last； to Morgan。
〃I think I would have preferred some time to get used to the idea； Alaric；〃 he said softly； managing to keep most of tile reproach out of his voice。 〃You could have told me。〃
〃Forgive me；〃 Morgan murmured。 〃I misjudged。 We did talk about the advisability of doing this…one night late in tile fall； as I recall。 Dhugal； you were there。 But I suppose you put it out of mind when I was unable to procure any merasha on my own。 The need is no less important for having 。been postponed； however。 It's vital that you know what you could e up against and how to deal with it。〃
〃What's the urgency？〃
〃Because you aren't a child any more； my prince；〃 Morgan said a little sharply。 〃Because in three days' time； you'll be knighted。 For those who will never wear a crown； that's the official seal of manhood。 It makes you fair game for those who might have spared you before； because of your youth… especially as your talents bee more widely known。 When you go on progress； and especially when you meet the Torenthi legates in Cardosa； you'll be particularly at risk。〃
〃Implying that I haven't been for the past four years？〃
〃You've been lucky。 You can't be sure your luck will hold。 If Brion had known what you'll know； he might not have died。 That's my fault。 I knew what merasha could do； at least in theory。 I should have made certain he did； too。〃
〃Don't flatter yourself； Alaric；〃 Arilan said。 〃It would have done no good in Brion's case。 Brion was never really fortable with what he was and he never learned to utilize his powers the way he might have done。 That isn't your fault； you were only half…trained yourself。 No； there was something in Brion's own makeup that held him back； that made him just a little too reluctant to use what powers he had。 I think I know； but I mayn't speak of it。 Remember that I was his confessor for the last six years of his life。〃
〃He spoke of these things to you？〃 Kelson asked。
〃Only peripherally and very rarely； at that。 But why do you think he never taught you anything about the Haldane potential？ Think back。 Alaric and Duncan were the only ones who even tried to expose you to magic and esoteric philosophy。〃
Kelson swallowed unfortably and reached out to touch a hesitant fingertip to the side of the leather flask。
〃If…if my father had known how to minimize the effects of the merasha； would that have saved him？〃
As all eyes turned to Arilan in question； the Deryni bishop slowly shook his head。
〃I can't answer that。 Kelson。 It might have done so。 If he'd known…if he'd been fighting it when I realized what was happening…it's possible。 But not knowing； he definitely didn't have a chance。 That I can say without reservation。〃
〃I see。〃
Kelson picked up the flask and tipped it from side to side； with an answering gurgle of liquid still inside。
〃Very well。 Is there enough in here to do the job； or has it gone bad in four years？〃
Nigel paled； and Morgan and Duncan exchanged startled glances； but Arilan only smiled slightly。
〃I fear the wine has gone a little sour； and the merasha has lost its potency after so long； but I think I understand what you're really asking。 I'd intended to start with new wine； but we can use what's in there； if you wish。〃
〃Is that safe？〃 Morgan asked； before Kelson could reply。
Arilan nodded。 〃As safe as merasha ever is。 What's in there is nearly spent…exactly how much； is difficult to determine…so I'll still have to add some from what I've brought。〃 He gestured toward the green vial。 〃But I wanted a higher dosage anyway。 Even new； the original was too subtle for our purposes。 I believe； however； that His Majesty means this trial partially as a remembrance of his father。 For that purpose； I'm willing to sacrifice strict accuracy of dose in favor of spiritual resolution。 And I've brought a sedative； for afterward； to take the edge off。〃
He handed a small parchment packet to the reluctant Duncan； who went immediately to fetch a cup of water。 Meanwhile； as the others watched in taut fascination； Arilan matter…of…factly unstoppered the leather flask and sniffed at the contents； wrinkling his nose at the smell。 A distracted snap of his fingers brought two empty goblets floating over from the dishes cleared away after supper； one of which he filled