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ht two empty goblets floating over from the dishes cleared away after supper； one of which he filled from the flask。 After adding most of the contents of the glass vial； he poured the mixture back and forth several times between the first and second goblets； ending with half the mixture in each。 These he set on the table before the king and Dhugal without ceremony。 Beside him； Duncan had returned and was stirring a cup of water with a little horn spoon。
〃That's the sedative？〃 Morgan asked。
Duncan nodded。 〃Aye； nothing unexpected。 A good； stiff dose； but they'll need that。 Dhugal； I think you're familiar with this one。〃
Dhugal； trained as a battle…surgeon； sniffed at the cup Duncan held out to him； frowned； then gingerly touched a fingertip to the liquid and then to his tongue； grimacing at the taste。
〃Aye； I know it。 We won't wake before morning； and that's for sure。 Next to a Deryni； it's the best thing I know to knock out a patient so you can work on him。 They don't feel much。〃
〃And neither will you；〃 Arilan said； taking the cup from Duncan and setting it back in the center of the table。 〃Nor will you want to。〃
He glanced at Kelson； then at Morgan and Duncan； finally sparing a look and a smile for Nigel； who bit back a grimace of apprehension and clasped his arms across his chest； one nervous hand massaging the opposite bicep。
〃Whenever you're ready； then； gentlemen；〃 Arilan said quietly。 〃Actually； why don't you go first。 Kelson； so we don't have to watch both of you at once？ I know you don't much trust me right now； so Alaric can monitor。 I'd remend you have a very modest taste first； so you can experience the subtler effects； and then toss it off as neatly as you can。 In this concentration； it has a particularly nasty aftertaste； as I'm sure Duncan can attest。 I suspect this is similar to the strength Loris and Gorony used on him。〃
If Arilan had intended his words to be reassuring； he failed utterly； for Kelson had seen the end result of Duncan's ordeal…and of his father's。 Picking up the merasha…drugged goblet of his own volition was one of the most difficult things he had ever done。
This is what killed your father！ his fear screeched at him； even though he knew it was not true。 You will taste his death again！
His hand trembled as he brought the cup to his lips； and he had to steady it with his other hand。 Try as he might to prevent it； images of his father's death began crowding into memory…the well…loved face contorted with pain and bewilderment； the chest heaving for breath…and sometimes the face was his own。 Sternly he told himself that he was not his father； but dread continued to scurry just at the edges of awareness； constantly dipping deeper into that well of vague and even more soul…chilling fears that every man has； that would always resist reason。
But to counter it； he could feel support all around him： magical bolstering； the likes of which his father had never known…the quick； timid caress of Dhugal's mind； backed by Duncan's； and then the more powerful surge of Morgan's exhortation for courage； as the Deryni duke laid his hand on the back of Kelson's neck。 He could sense Arilan's mind only sketchily； though what did e through was benign； but even Nigel； all potential and no power as yet； displayed a fierce glow of fortitude that was another source of fort。
Heartened； Kelson tipped the cup to taste of the temporary death of mind； barely testing with the tip of his tongue。 Unlike his father； he would not really die。 Surely he could endure this tempering ordeal； so that his father's death might not have been in vain。
The wine was pungent and tart。 Arilan had been right about it going sour。 It was not yet vinegary； but almost… probably not a Fianna varietal； but it would have been a good Vintage red； four years before。 He knew his father had approved。 He wondered why it had not lasted better。
Perhaps it was the merasha； he decided； as he ran his tongue across his lips。 Perhaps the old merasha had changed it as it lost its potency。 Odd； but the tip of his tongue suddenly felt a little numb。 And as he swallowed； the sharp tang of the turning wine left a bitter aftertaste at the back of his tongue…not unexpected； in light of what Arilan had said。 He swallowed again and became aware of a faint buzzing that started in his throat and quickly spread to the back of his head。
〃Drink it down now；〃 Morgan murmured； suddenly at his right ear； standing now to rest both hands on his shoulders。 〃You might as well avoid the worst of the transition。 Fast is better； believe me。〃
Kelson might have argued with Arilan； if only because he resented the Deryni bishop's highhandedness in this entire matter； but not with Morgan。 He could feel an unpleasant tingling already extending into his lips and down his arms。 He raised the cup again in hands that were fast losing sensation。
〃All of it； in one big gulp；〃 Morgan urged； as Kelson set it to his lips。
Kelson managed it in two； almost immediately fighting nausea as the sour wine hit his stomach。 But it was not the wine that made him want to retch。 He knew that with a cold； gut…cramping fear； triggered by yet another image of his father dying； that would not respond to the rational awareness that he was safe here； among friends。 Morgan took the empty goblet before he could drop it； but then all his senses began shutting down and he was alone…more alone than he had ever been； even before he came into his powers。
His vision began to blur； tunneling down something like the way it did when he was going into trance for a very deep working。 Only； instead of letting him focus inward； the tunnel kept closing in； constricting； shutting him off from both outward and inward sensation until he was blind。
And blind with his powers as well as his eyes。 He tried to open his mouth to ask if anyone was still there； but the movement made his stomach churn…though not enough； unfortunately； to heave up what was lying there like a belly full of coals； sending jerky streamers of fire into all his limbs。
〃Kelson； can you hear me？〃 a voice said； close in his ear； its sound like the rasp of rusty metal against his raw nerves。
He managed to nod； but he had to close his eyes to do it…which didn't matter； since he couldn't see anyway。 A vague； faraway part of him knew his hands were gripping the edge of the table for dear life； his only anchor in the world now inaccessible to him； but what touched his face； clamping his head between； might have been tongs of fire； had he not somehow sensed they were Morgan's hands。
〃Keep your eyes closed； take a deep breath and let it out； and try to concentrate only on my voice；〃 Morgan manded。 〃Your shields are nearly gone。 Try not to resist what I'm about to do。 This isn't going to be pleasant for either of us； but I'll show you what's happening and how to make the best of it。〃
Kelson could not have disobeyed； had his soul's salvation depended on it。 The touch of Morgan's mind was far worse than the touch of his hands。 All he remembered of the next hour or two was screaming…though they told him； later； that he had uttered not a sound。
He supposed they had finally given him Arilan's sedative； at the end； because when he finally woke；