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〃Yes； and Edmund Loris knew； too；〃 Duncan retorted； lists clenching involuntarily as the memory of the renegade archbishop's tortures loomed unbeckoned in his mind's eye。 The nails had grown back on his fingers and toes； and his 。other wounds had healed； but the nightmare of being chained to the stake； with the flames leaping up around him； beginning to lick at his flesh； would be with Duncan McLain until the day he died。
But the invoking of Loris' name had brought Dhugal back to the reality of what could happen； for it was he who had fought his way through the fire and Loris' men to save his father； Dhugal gasped as he realized what memories he had stirred and he shifted his gaze out to the rain again。
〃I'm sorry；〃 he said quietly。 〃I have no right to ask that of you。 I'm new to knowing what I am。 You've had to live with it all your life。 It has to be your decision。 It's just that Morgan and Kelson are able to be so open…〃
〃And you'd like to be； too； wouldn't you？〃 Duncan replied softly。 〃I know； son。 Believe me； I've thought about it often； but…〃
He broke off as Morgan stepped into the opening of the alcove； clearing his throat to announce his presence。
〃Sorry to interrupt；〃 Morgan said。 〃Duncan； had you forgotten we have some important further business with Bishop Arilan？〃
Duncan blinked and shook his head。 He had not forgotten； but he was not looking forward to it。 Dhugal and Kelson did not know it yet； but tonight was the night that Morgan and Duncan had agreed Arilan should expose the two young men to merasha for the first time。 The very notion made Duncan's stomach queasy； for Loris had given him the drug when he fell captive of the renegade archbishop the summer before。 It acted only as a sedative in humans； but even a minute amount could render a Deryni totally incapable of using his powers。 Morgan； too； had cause to know merasha's dangers from bitter firsthand experience； but it was important that both Dhugal and the king experience its disruptive effects in a safe； controlled setting before they chanced encountering it in less favorable circumstances。 There was no antidote； but sometimes the effects could be minimized or made to work somewhat positively； if the subject was familiar with them。
Back in the supper room。 Kelson was already seated at the now…cleared table before the fireplace； Nigel across from him…for they had agreed that the king's uncle should be present； as regent； since the king would be incapacitated for the rest of the night。 Dhugal glanced questioningly at Kelson as he sat down at Kelson's left and his father sat beside him； but the king only shrugged as Morgan took a place on Kelson's right。 Arilan came back to the table with a tooled leather flask in his hands and an odd； tight expression on his face。
〃I apologize if this may seem a bit abrupt；〃 the Deryni bishop said； sitting opposite the two younger men and ignoring their expressions of apprehension as he set the flask on the table between them。 〃However； I have my reasons。 Sire； I doubt you saw this flask on the day your father died… or that you remember it； if you did。 You should； though。 This is what killed your father。〃
CHAPTER TWO
Open thy mouth； and drink what I give thee to drink。
II Esdras 14：38
〃This is what killed your father。〃
Arilan's words pierced like steel in the hearts of the four present who had known Brion Haldane intimately。 Kelson's face drained of color； grey eyes like dead coals in a death…white mask。 Nigel gasped soundlessly； stricken； in that instant looking uncannily like the beloved elder brother who had died in his arms。 Duncan crossed himself in horrified disbelief。 Only Morgan responded with action； half ing to his feet to lunge between Kelson and the bishop； an open hand stretching toward Arilan's throat。
〃Don't touch me； or you'll regret it！〃 Arilan snapped； not even flinching as Morgan's hand pulled up in a fist a hair's breadth from his face。 〃Sit down。 You'd think I killed Brion。 Actually； neither did this…though it's what enabled him to be killed in the way he was。 Surely you guessed it was merasha that made him vulnerable…or do you think I somehow had something to do with it？〃
As Morgan drew back and sat down； not trusting himself to speak； Duncan slowly exhaled and glanced at Arilan； a hand staying Nigel； whose mouth was working； but without words ing out。
〃No one is making any accusations；〃 Duncan said carefully； at the same time bidding the others； with his mind； to keep silent while he sought an explanation。 〃Though I think it occurs to all of us； now； that you could have done。 I assume that's the flask that Colin of Fianna shared with the king that day。 We never learned how merasha got into it； however。〃
Arilan sat back with a snort of derision； crossing his arms on his chest。 His lean； handsome face； blue…jowled this late in the day； looked a little satanic as the shadows came and went in the flickering firelight； and his deep blue…violet eyes were nearly the color of his cassock in the dimness。
〃Don't be absurd。 If you'll recall； Nigel； it was I who first told you that Colin said he'd gotten it from a mysterious lady。〃
〃Then； where did you get the flask？〃 Nigel countered。 〃We searched high and low for it； but we never found a trace。 Colin said he guessed he'd lost it on the ride back from the hunt。〃
Arilan nodded。 〃And so he did。 Only； I was the one who 'lost' it for him。 I knew； the moment I reached Brion's side and saw that he was dying； that he'd gotten merasha in him from somewhere…and I'd seen him drinking with Colin only minutes before。
〃So I waylaid Colin in the courtyard after we got back； while everyone was milling around and seeing Brion's body brought into the great hall； and I relieved him of the flask… which was； indeed； the source of the merasha。 He never remembered that part of our conversation； of course。 I left it to the rest of you to draw the correct conclusion that Charissa had been the giver of the deadly gift…something I couldn't tell you then； or even about the merasha； without betraying that I was Deryni。〃
〃I…assume there was nothing you could do to save my father； either；〃 Kelson finally said； speaking for the first time。 〃I don't want to believe that you could have done something and didn't； just to protect your precious identity。〃
Arilan glanced down at his clasped hands。 〃Kelson； I will not deny that I have been guilty of that accusation on more than one occasion。 The nightmares I suffer because of it are worse than you can possibly imagine and only a foretaste of the answering I shall have to make one day before a higher Judge。 But your father's blood is not on my hands。 The damage already was done by the time I got to him。 I doubt that even a Healer could have saved him…if we still had qualified Healers。〃
〃Is that the truth； or are you just saying it to placate me？〃 Kelson replied； daring to turn his Truth…Reading ability on the Deryni bishop for the first time。
Smiling gently； quite aware of the feather…light probe； Arilan shook his head and opened his hands in a gesture of submission。
〃I have told you only the truth。 Kelson；〃 he breathed。 〃There was nothing I could have done for your father save to prolong his agony a few