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should be petitioned to sanction the idea exclusively to Elmira；
prohibiting the erection of any such memorial elsewhere。 A document to
this effect was prepared； headed by F。 G。 Hall； and signed by other
leading citizens of Elmira； including Beecher himself。 General Joe
Hawley came along just then on a political speech…making tour。 Clemens
introduced him； and Hawley； in turn； agreed to father the petition in
Congress。 What had begun merely as pleasantry began to have a formidable
look。
But alas！ in the end Hawley's courage had failed him。 He began to hate
his undertaking。 He was afraid of the national laugh it would arouse；
the jeers of the newspapers。 It was certain to leak out that Mark Twain
was behind it； in spite of the fact that his name nowhere appeared； that
it was one of his colossal jokes。 Now and then； in the privacy of his
own room at night； Hawley would hunt up the Adam petition and read it and
feel the cold sweat breaking out。 He postponed the matter from one
session to another till the summer of 1881； when he was about to sail for
Europe。 Then he gave the document to his wife； to turn over to Clemens；
and ignominiously fled。
＇For text of the petition in full； etc。； see Appendix P； at the end of
last volume。
Mark Twain's introduction of Hawley at Elmira contained this pleasantry：
〃General Hawley was president of the Centennial Commission。 Was a
gallant soldier in the war。 He has been Governor of Connecticut； member
of Congress； and was president of the convention that nominated Abraham
Lincoln。〃
General Hawley： 〃That nominated Grant。〃
Twain： 〃He says it was Grant； but I know better。 He is a member of my
church at Hartford； and the author of 'Beautiful Snow。' Maybe he will
deny that。 But I am only here to give him a character from his last
place。 As a pure citizen； I respect him； as a personal friend of years；
I have the warmest regard for him； as a neighbor whose vegetable garden
joins mine； whywhy； I watch him。 That's nothing； we all do that with
any neighbor。 General Hawley keeps his promises； not only in private；
but in public。 He is an editor who believes what he writes in his own
paper。 As the author of 'Beautiful Snow' he added a new pang to winter。
He is broad…souled； generous； noble； liberal； alive to his moral and
religious responsibilities。 Whenever the contribution…box was passed I
never knew him to take out a cent。〃＇
CXXXV
A TRIP WITH SHERMAN AND AN INTERVIEW WITH GRANT。
The Army of the Potomac gave a dinner in Hartford on the 8th of June；
1881。 But little memory remains of it now beyond Mark Twain's speech and
a bill of fare containing original comments； ascribed to various revered
authors； such as Johnson； Milton； and Carlyle。 A pleasant incident
followed； however； which Clemens himself used to relate。 General Sherman
attended the banquet； and Secretary of War； Robert Lincoln。 Next morning
Clemens and Twichell were leaving for West Point； where they were to
address the military students； guests on the same special train on which
Lincoln and Sherman had their private car。 This car was at the end of
the train； and when the two passengers reached the station； Sherman and
Lincoln were out on the rear platform addressing the multitude。 Clemens
and Twichell went in and； taking seats； waited for them。
As the speakers finished the train started； but they still remained
outside； bowing and waving to the assembled citizens； so that it was
under good headway before they came in。 Sherman came up to Clemens； who
sat smoking unconcernedly。
〃Well；〃 he said； 〃who told you you could go in this car？〃
〃Nobody；〃 said Clemens。
〃Do you expect to pay extra fare？〃 asked Sherman。
〃No；〃 said Clemens。 〃I don't expect to pay any fare。〃
〃Oh； you don't。 Then you'll work your way。〃
Sherman took off his coat and military hat and made Clemens put them on。
〃Now；〃 said he； 〃whenever the train stops you go out on the platform and
represent me and make a speech。〃
It was not long before the train stopped； and Clemens； according to
orders； stepped out on the rear platform and bowed to the crowd。 There
was a cheer at the sight of his military uniform。 Then the cheer waned；
became a murmur of uncertainty； followed by an undertone of discussion。
Presently somebody said：
〃Say； that ain't Sherman； that's Mark Twain；〃 which brought another
cheer。
Then Sherman had to come out too； and the result was that both spoke。
They kept this up at the different stations； and sometimes Lincoln came
out with them。 When there was time all three spoke； much to the
satisfaction of their audiences。
President Garfield was shot that summerJuly 2； 1881。 ＇On the day that
President Garfield was shot Mrs。 Clemens received from their friend
Reginald Cholmondeley a letter of condolence on the death of her husband
in Australia； startling enough； though in reality rather comforting than
otherwise； for the reason that the 〃Mark Twain〃 who had died in Australia
was a very persistent impostor。 Clemens wrote Cholmondeley： 〃Being dead
I might be excused from writing letters； but I am not that kind of a
corpse。 May I never be so dead as to neglect the hail of a friend from a
far land。〃 Out of this incident grew a feature of an anecdote related in
Following the Equator the joke played by the man from Bendigo。＇ He died
September 19th； and Arthur came into power。 There was a great feeling of
uncertainty as to what he would do。 He was regarded as 〃an excellent
gentleman with a weakness for his friends。〃 Incumbents holding
appointive offices were in a state of dread。
Howells's father was consul at Toronto； and； believing his place to be in
danger； he appealed to his son。 In his book Howells tells how； in turn；
he appealed to Clemens； remembering his friendship with Grant and Grant's
friendship with Arthur。 He asked Clemens to write to Grant； but Clemens
would hear of nothing less than a call on the General； during which the
matter would be presented to him in person。 Howells relates how the
three of them lunched together； in a little room just out of the office；
on baked beans and coffee； brought in from some near…by restaurant：
The baked beans and coffee were of about the railroad…refreshment
quality； but eating them with Grant was like sitting down to baked
beans and coffee with Julius Caesar； or Alexander； or some other
great Plutarchan captain。
Clemens； also recalling the interview； once added some interesting
details：
〃I asked Grant if he wouldn't write a word on a card which Howells could
carry to Washington and hand to the President。 But； as usual； General
Grant was his natural selfthat is to say； ready and determined to do a
great deal more for you than you could possibly ask him to do。 He said
he was going to Washington in a couple of days to dine with the
President； and he would speak to him himself on the subject and make it a
personal matter。 Grant was in the humor to talkhe was always in a
humor to talk when no strangers were presenthe forced us to stay and
take luncheon in a private room； and continued to talk all the time。 It
was baked beans