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Albion Female Semenary is located here； & there air over 300
young ladies in the Institushun； pretty enough to eat without
seasonin or sass。 The young ladies was very kind to me；
volunteerin to pin my handbills onto the backs of their
dresses。 It was a surblime site to see over 300 young ladies
goin round with a advertisement of A。 Ward's onparaleld show；
conspickusly posted onto their dresses。
They've got a Panick up this way and refooze to take Western
money。 It never was worth much； and when western men； who
knows what it is； refooze to take their own money it is about
time other folks stopt handlin it。 Banks are bustin every day；
goin up higher nor any balloon of which we hav any record。
These western bankers air a sweet & luvly set of men。 I wish I
owned as good a house as some of 'em would break into！
Virtoo is its own reward。
A。 Ward。
1。8。 THE OCTOROON。
It is with no ordernary feelins of Shagrin & indignashun that I
rite you these here lines。 Sum of the hiest and most purest
feelins whitch actoate the humin hart has bin trampt onto。 The
Amerycan flag has bin outrajed。 Ive bin nussin a Adder in my
Boozum。 The fax in the kase is these here：
A few weeks ago I left Baldinsville to go to N。Y。 fur to git
out my flamin yeller hanbills fur the Summer kampane； & as I
was peroosin a noospaper on the kars a middel aged man in
speckterkuls kum & sot down beside onto me。 He was drest in
black close & was appeerently as fine a man as ever was。
〃A fine day； Sir；〃 he did unto me strateway say。
〃Middlin；〃 sez I； not wishin to kommit myself； tho he peered to
be as fine a man as there was in the wurld〃It is a middlin
fine day； Square；〃 I obsarved。
Sez he； 〃How fares the Ship of State in yure regine of
country？〃
Sez I； 〃We don't hav no ships in our Statethe kanawl is our
best holt。〃
He pawsed a minit and then sed； 〃Air yu aware； Sir； that the
krisis is with us？〃
〃No；〃 sez I； getting up and lookin under the seet； 〃whare is
she？〃
〃It's hearit's everywhares；〃 he sed。
Sez I； 〃Why how you tawk！〃 and I gut up agin & lookt all round。
〃I must say； my fren；〃 I continnered； as I resoomed my seet；
〃that I kan't see nothin of no krisis myself。〃 I felt sumwhat
alarmed； & arose & in a stentoewrian voice obsarved that if any
lady or gentleman in that there kar had a krisis consealed
abowt their persons they'd better projuce it to onct or suffer
the konsequences。 Several individoouls snickered rite out；
while a putty little damsell rite behind me in a pinc gown made
the observashun； 〃He； he。〃
〃Sit down； my fren；〃 sed the man in black close； 〃yu
miskomprehend me。 I meen that the perlittercal ellermunts are
orecast with black klouds； 4boden a friteful storm。〃
〃Wall；〃 replide I； 〃in regard to perlittercal ellerfunts I
don't know as how but what they is as good as enny other kind
of ellerfunts。 But I maik bold to say thay is all a ornery set
& unpleasant to hav around。 They air powerful hevy eaters &
take up a right smart chans of room； & besides thay air as ugly
and revenjeful； as a Cusscaroarus Injun； with 13 inches of corn
whisky in his stummick。〃 The man in black close seemed to be
as fine a man as ever was in the wurld。 He smilt & sed praps I
was rite； tho it was ellermunts instid of ellerfunts that he
was alludin to； & axed me what was my prinserpuls？
〃I haint gut enny；〃 sed I〃not a prinserpul。 Ime in the show
biznis。〃 The man in black close； I will hear obsarve； seemed
to be as fine a man as ever was in the wurld。
〃But；〃 sez he； 〃you hav feelins into you？ You cimpathize with
the misfortunit； the loly & the hart…sick； don't you？〃 He bust
into teers and axed me ef I saw that yung lady in the seet out
yender； pintin to as slick a lookin gal as I ever seed。
Sed I； 〃2 be shure I see heris she mutch sick？〃 The man in
black close was appeerently as fine a man as ever was in the
wurld ennywhares。
〃Draw closter to me；〃 sed the man in black close。 〃Let me git
my mowth fernenst yure ear。 HushSHESE A OCTOROON！〃
〃No！〃 sez I； gittin up in a exsited manner； 〃yu don't say so！
How long has she bin in that way？〃
〃Frum her arliest infuncy；〃 sed he。
〃Wall； whot upon arth duz she doo it fur？〃 I inquired。
〃She kan't help it；〃 sed the man in black close。 〃It's the
brand of Kane。〃
〃Wall； she'd better stop drinkin Kane's brandy；〃 I replide。
〃I sed the brand of Kane was upon hernot brandy； my fren。
Yure very obtoose。〃
I was konsiderbul riled at this。 Sez I； 〃My gentle Sir； Ime a
nonresistanter as a ginral thing； & don't want to git up no
rows with nobuddy； but I kin nevertheles kave in enny man's hed
that calls me a obtoos；〃 with whitch remarks I kommenst fur to
pull orf my extry garmints。 〃Cum on；〃 sez I〃Time！ hear's the
Beniki Boy fur ye！〃 & I darnced round like a poppit。 He riz up
in his seet & axed my pardinsed it was all a mistakethat I
was a good man； etsettery； & sow 4th； & we fixt it all up
pleasant。 I must say the man in black close seamed to be as
fine a man as ever lived in the wurld。 He sed a Octoroon was
the 8th of a negrow。 He likewise statid that the female he was
travlin with was formurly a slave in Mississippy； that she'd
purchist her freedim & now wantid to purchiss the freedim of
her poor old muther； who （the man in black close obsarved） was
between 87 years of age & had to do all the cookin & washin for
25 hired men； whitch it was rapidly breakin down her konstitushun。
He sed he knowed the minit he gazed onto my klassic & beneverlunt
fase that I'd donate librully & axed me to go over & see her；
which I accordingly did。 I sot down beside her and sed； 〃yure
Sarvant； Marm！ How do yer git along？〃
She bust in 2 teers & sed； 〃O Sur； I'm so retchidI'm a poor
unfortunit Octoroon。〃
〃So I larn。 Yure rather more Roon than Octo； I take it；〃 sed
I； fur I never seed a puttier gal in the hull endoorin time of
my life。 She had on a More Antic Barsk & a Poplin Nubier with
Berage trimmins onto it； while her ise & kurls was enuff to
make a man jump into a mill pond without biddin his relashuns
good…by。 I pittid the Octoroon from the inmost recusses of my
hart & hawled out 50 dollars kerslap； & told her to buy her old
muther as soon as posserbul。 Sez she 〃kine sir mutch thanks。〃
She then lade her hed over onto my showlder & sed I was 〃old
rats。〃 I was astonished to heer this obsarvation； which I
knowd was never used in refined society & I perlitely but
emfattercly shovd her hed away。
Sez I 〃Marm； I'm trooly sirprized。〃
Sez she； 〃git out。 Yure the nicist old man Ive seen yit。 Give
us anuther 50！〃 Had a seleck assortment of the most tremenjious
thunderbolts descended down onto me I couldn't hav bin more
takin aback。 I jumpt up； but she ceased my coat tales & in a
wild voise cride； 〃No； Ile never desart youlet us fli together
to a furrin shoor！〃
Sez I； 〃not mutch we wont；〃 and I made a powerful effort to get
awa from her。 〃This is plade out；〃 I sed； whereupon she jerkt
me back into the seet。 〃Leggo my coat； you scandaluss female；〃
I roared； when she set up the most unarthly yellin and hollerin
you eve