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with a roll of paper in his hands； and used it to play with
throughout the lecture； just as recently at the Egyptian Hall； while
lecturing on the Mormons； he invariably made use of a lady's riding…
whip for the same purpose。 He commenced his lecture thus； speaking
very gravely and with long pauses between his sentences； allowing
his audience to laugh if they pleased； but seeming to utterly
disregard their laughter：
〃I have invited you to listen to a discourse upon Africa。 Africa is
my subject。 It is a very large subject。 It has the Atlantic Ocean
on its left side； the Indian Ocean on its right； and more water than
you could measure out at its smaller end。
Africa produces blacksivory blacksthey get ivory。 It also
produces deserts； and that is the reason it is so much deserted by
travellers。 Africa is famed for its roses。 It has the red rose；
the white rose； and the neg…rose。 Apropos of negroes； let me tell
you a little story。〃
Then he at once diverged from the subject of Africa to retail to his
audience his amusing story of the Conversion of a Negro； which he
subsequently worked up into an article in the Savage Club Papers；
and entitled 〃Converting the Nigger。〃 Never once again in the
course of the lecture did he refer to Africa； until the time having
arrived for him to conclude； and the people being fairly worn out
with laughter； he finished up by saying； 〃Africa； ladies and
gentlemen； is my subject。 You wish me to tell you something about
Africa。 Africa is on the mapit is on all the maps of Africa that
I have ever seen。 You may buy a good map for a dollar； and if you
study it well； you will know more about Africa than I do。 It is a
comprehensive subject； too vast； I assure you； for me to enter upon
to…night。 You would not wish me to； I feel thatI feel it deeply；
and I am very sensitive。 If you go home and go to bed it will be
better for you than to go with me to Africa。〃
The joke about the 〃neg…rose〃 has since run the gauntlet of nearly
all the minstrel bands throughout England and America。 All the
〃bones；〃 every 〃middle…man；〃 and all 〃end…men〃 of the burnt…cork
profession have used Artemus Ward as a mine wherein to dig for the
ore which provokes laughter。 He has been the 〃cause of wit in
others；〃 and the bread…winner for many dozens of black…face
songsters〃singists〃 as he used to term them。 He was just as fond
of visiting their entertainments as they were of appropriating his
jokes； and among his best friends in New York were the brothers
Messrs Neil and Dan Bryant； who have made a fortune by what has been
facetiously termed 〃the burnt…cork opera。〃
It was in his 〃Sixty Minutes in Africa〃 lecture that Artemus Ward
first introduced his celebrated satire on the negro； which he
subsequently put into print。 〃The African；〃 said he； 〃may be our
brother。 Several highly respectable gentlemen and some talented
females tell me that he is； and for argument's sake I might be
induced to grant it； though I don't believe it myself。 But the
African isn't our sister； and wife； and uncle。 He isn't several of
our brothers and first wife's relations。 He isn't our grandfather
and great grandfather； and our aunt in the country。 Scarcely。〃
It may easily be imagined how popular this joke became when it is
remembered that it was first perpetrated at a time when the negro
question was so much debated as to have become an absolute nuisance。
Nothing else was talked of； nobody would talk of anything but the
negro。 The saying arose that all Americans had 〃nigger…on
the…brain。〃 The topic had become nauseous； especially to the
Democratic party； and Artemus always had more friends among them
than among the Republicans。 If he had any politics at all he was
certainly a Democrat。
War had arisen； the South was closed； and the lecturing arena
considerably lessened。 Artemus Ward determined to go to California。
Before starting for that side of the American continent； he wished
to appear in the city of New York。 He engaged； through his friend
Mr。 De Walden； the large hall then known as Niblo's； in front of the
Niblo's Garden Theatre； and now used； I believe； as the dining…room
of the Metropolitan Hotel。 At that period Pepper's Ghost chanced to
be the great novelty of New York City； and Artemus Ward was casting
about for a novel title to his old lecture。 Whether he or Mr。 De
Walden selected that of 〃Artemus Ward's Struggle with a Ghost〃 I do
not know； but I think that it was Mr。 De Walden's choice。 The title
was seasonable； and the lecture successful。 Then came the tour to
California； whither I proceeded in advance to warn the miners on the
Yuba； the travellers on the Rio Sacramento； and the citizens of the
Chrysopolis of the Pacific that 〃A。 Ward〃 would be there shortly。
In California the lecture was advertised under its old name of 〃The
Babes in the Wood。〃 Platt's Hall was selected for the scene of
operation； and； so popular was the lecturer； that on the first night
we took at the doors more than sixteen hundred dollars in gold。 The
crowd proved too great to take money in the ordinary manner； and
hats were used for people to throw their dollars in。 One hat broke
through at the crown。 I doubt if we ever knew to a dollar how many
dollars it once contained。
California was duly travelled over； and 〃The Babes in the Wood〃
listened to with laughter in its flourishing cities； its
mining…camps among the mountains； and its 〃new placers beside
gold…bedded rivers。 While journeying through that strangely…
beautiful land； the serious question aroseWhat was to be done
next？ After Californiawhere？
Before leaving New York； it had been a favourite scheme of Artemus
Ward not to return from California to the East by way of Panama； but
to come home across the Plains； and to visit Salt Lake City by the
way。 The difficulty that now presented itself was； that winter was
close upon us； and that it was no pleasant thing to cross the Sierra
Nevada and scale the Rocky Mountains with the thermometer far below
freezingpoint。 Nor was poor Artemus even at that time a strong man。
My advice was to return to Panama； visit the West India Islands； and
come back to California in the spring； lecture again in San
Francisco； and then go on to the land of the Mormons。 Artemus
doubted the feasibility of this plan； and the decision was
ultimately arrived at to try the journey to Salt Lake。
Unfortunately the winter turned out to be one of the severest。 When
we arrived at Salt Lake City； my poor friend was seized with typhoid
fever； resulting from the fatigue we had undergone； the intense cold
to which we had been subjected； and the excitement of being on a
journey of 3500 miles across the North American Continent； when the
Pacific Railway had made little progress and the Indians were
reported not to be very friendly。
The story of the trip is told in Artemus Ward's lecture。 I have
added to it； at the special request of the publisher； a few
explanatory notes； the purport of which is to render the reader
acquainted with the characteristics of the lecturer's delivery。 For
the benefit of those who never had an opportunity of seeing Artemus