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Another part of his brain； the hated； despicable part which had nevertheless enabled him to survive in the Guards these past ten years； said： It's rude to butt in。 We'll wait until he's finished； and then ask him if he wants any assistance。 Besides； it isn't Watch policy to interfere in fights。 It's a lot simpler to go in afterwards and arrest anyone recumbent。
There was a crash as a nearby window burst outwards and deposited a stunned fighter on the opposite side of the street。
〃I think；〃 said the captain carefully； 〃that we'd better take prompt action。〃
〃That's right；〃 said Sgt Colon； 〃a man could get hurt standing here。〃
They sidled cautiously a little way down the street； where the sound of splintering wood and breaking glass wasn't so overpowering； and carefully avoided one another's eyes。 There was the occasional scream from within the tavern； and every now and again a mysterious ringing noise； as though someone was hitting a gong with their knee。
They stood in a little pool of embarrassed silence。
〃You had your holidays this year； Sergeant？〃 said Captain Vimes eventually； rocking back and forth on his heels。
〃Yessir。 Sent the wife to Quirm last month； sir； to see her aunt。〃
〃Very nice at this time of year； I'm told。〃
〃Yessir。〃
〃All the geraniums and whatnot。〃
A figure tumbled out of an upper window and crumpled on the cobbles。
〃That's where they've got the floral sundial； isn't it？〃 said the captain desperately。
〃Yessir。 Very nice； sir。 All done with little flowers； sir。〃
There was a sound like something hitting something else repeatedly with something heavy and wooden。 Vimes winced。
〃I don't think he'd of been happy in the Watch； sir；〃 said the sergeant； in a kindly voice。
The door of the Mended Drum had been torn off during riots so often that specially…tempered hinges had recently been installed； and the fact that the next tremendous crash tore the whole door and doorframe out of the wall only showed that quite a lot of money had been wasted。 A figure in the midst of the wreckage tried to raise itself on its elbows； groaned； and slumped back。
〃Well； it would seem that it's all。。。〃 the captain began； and Nobby said： 〃It's that bloody troll！〃
〃What？〃 said Vimes。
〃It's the troll！ The one they have on the door！〃
They advanced with extreme caution。
It was； indeed； Detritus the splatter。
It is very difficult to hurt a creature that is； to all intents and purposes； a mobile stone。 Someone seemed to have managed it； though。 The fallen figure was groaning like a couple of bricks being crushed together。
〃That's a turn up for the books；〃 said the sergeant vaguely。 All three of them turned and peered at the brightly…lit rectangle where the doorway had been。 Things had definitely quietened down a bit in there。
〃You don't think；〃 said the sergeant； 〃that he's winning； do you？''
The captain thrust out his jaw。 ' 'We owe it to our colleague and fellow officer；〃 he said； 〃to find out。〃
There was a whimper from behind them。 They turned and saw Nobby hopping on one leg and clutching a foot。
〃What's up with you； man？〃 said Vimes。
Nobby made agonized noises。
Sergeant Colon began to understand。 Although cautious obsequiousness was the general tenor of Watch behaviour； there wasn't one member of the entire squad who hadn't； at some time； been at the wrong end of Detritus's fists。 Nobby had merely tried to play catch…up in the very best traditions of policemen everywhere。
〃He went and kicked him inna rocks； sir；〃 he said。
〃Disgraceful；〃 said the captain vaguely。 He hesitated。 〃Do trolls have rocks？〃 he said。
〃Take it from me； sir。〃
〃Good grief；〃 Vimes said。 〃Dame Nature moves in strange ways； doesn't she。〃
〃Right you are； sir；〃 said the sergeant obediently。
〃And now；〃 said the captain； drawing his sword； 〃forward！〃
〃Yessir。〃
〃This means you too； Sergeant；〃 the captain added。
〃Yessir。〃
。。。
It was possibly the most circumspect advance in the history of military maneuvers； right down at the bottom end of the scale that things like the Charge of the Light Brigade are at the top of。
They peered cautiously around the ravished doorway。
There were a number of people sprawled across the tables； or what remained of the tables。 Those who were still conscious looked unhappy about it。
Carrot stood in the middle of the floor。 His rusty chain mail was torn； his helmet was missing； he was swaying a little from side to side and one eye was already starting to swell； but he recognized the captain； dropped the feebly…protesting customer he was holding； and threw a salute。
〃Beg to report thirty…one offences of Making an Affray； sir； and fifty…six cases of Riotous Behaviour； forty…one offences of Obstructing an Officer of the Watch in the Execution of his Duty； thirteen offences of Assault with a Deadly Weapon； six cases of Malicious Lingering； and…and…Corporal Nobby hasn't even shown me one rope yet。。。〃
He fell backwards； breaking a table。
Captain Vimes coughed。 He wasn't at all sure what you were supposed to do next。 As far as he knew； the Watch had never been in this position before。
' 'I think you should get him a drink； Sergeant；'' he said。
〃Yessir。〃
〃And get me one； too。〃
〃Yessir。〃
〃Have one yourself； why don't you。〃
〃Yessir。〃
〃And you； Corporal； will you please … what are you doing？〃
〃Searching…the…bodies…sir；〃 said Nobby quickly； straightening up。 〃For incriminating evidence； and that。〃
〃In their money pouches？''
Nobby thrust his hands behind his back。 〃You never know； sir；〃 he said。
The sergeant had located a miraculously unbroken bottle of spirits in the wreckage and forced a lot of its contents between Carrot's lips。
〃What we going to do with all this lot； Captain？〃 he said over his shoulder。
〃I haven't the faintest；〃 said Vimes； sitting down。 The Watch jail was just about big enough for six very small people； which were usually the only sort to be put in it。 Whereas these。。。
He looked around him desperately。 There was Nork the Impaler； lying under a table and making bubbling noises。 There was Big Henri。 There was Grabber Simmons； one of the most feared bar…room fighters in the city。 All in all； there were a lot of people it wouldn't pay to be near when they woke up。
〃We could cut their throats； sir；〃 said Nobby； veteran of a score of residual battlefields。 He had found an unconscious fighter who was about the right size and was speculatively removing his boots； which looked quite new and about the right size。
〃That would be entirely wrong；〃 said Vimes。 He wasn't sure how you actually went about cutting a throat。 It had never hitherto been an option。
〃No；〃 he said； 〃I think perhaps we'll let them off with a caution。〃
There was a groan from under the bench。
〃Besides；〃 he went on quickly； 〃we should get our fallen rade to a place of safety as soon as possible。〃
〃Good point；〃 said the sergeant。 He took a swig of the spirits； for the sake of his nerves。
The two of them managed to sling Carrot between them and guide his wobbling legs up the steps。 Vimes； collapsing under the weight； looked around for Nobby。
〃Corporal Nobbs；〃 he rasped； 〃why are yo