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en begin to do so； he might yet find a way of controlling the thing that had e to haunt him。
He worked in a fair frenzy for two hours； making demands of the paint he'd never made before； plastering it on with palette knife and fingers； attempting to capture at least the shape and proportion of the thing's head and neck。 He could see the image clearly enough in his mind's eye （since that night no two rememberings had been more than a minute apart）； but even the most basic sketch eluded his hand。 He was badly equipped for the task； He'd been a parasite for too long； a mere copier； echoing other men's visions。 Now he finally had one of his own…only one； but all the more precious for that…and he simply couldn't set it down。 He wanted to weep at this final defeat； but he was too tired。 With his hands still covered in paint； he lay down on the chilly sheets and waited for sleep to take his confusions away。
Two thoughts visited him as he slipped into dreams。 The first； that with so much burnt umber on his hands he looked as though he'd been playing with his own shit。 The second； that the only way to solve the problem on the canvas was to see its subject again in the flesh； which thought he weled； and went to dreams relieved of his frauds and pieties； smiling to think of having the rare thing's face before him once again。
11
THOUGH THE JOURNEY FROM Godolphin's house in Primrose Hill to the Tabula Rasa's tower was short； and Dowd got him up to Highgate on the dot of six； Oscar suggested they drive down through Crouch End； then up through Muswell Hill； and back to the tower； so that they'd arrive ten minutes late。
〃We mustn't seem to be too eager to prostrate ourselves；〃 he observed as they approached the tower for a second time。 〃It'll only make them arrogant。〃
〃Shall I wait down here？〃
〃Cold and lonely？ My dear Dowdy； out of the question。 We'll ascend together； bearing gifts。〃
〃What gifts？〃
〃Our wit； our taste in suits…well； my taste…in essence； ourselves。〃
They got out of the car and went to the porch； their every step monitored by cameras mounted above the door。 The lock clicked as they approached； and they stepped inside。 As they crossed the foyer to the lift； Godolphin whispered； 〃Whatever happens tonight； Dowdy； please remember…〃
He got no further。 The lift doors opened； and Bloxham appeared； as preening as ever。
〃Pretty tie；〃 Oscar said to him。 〃Yellow's your color。〃 The tie was blue。 〃Don't mind my man Dowd here； will you？ I never go anywhere without him。〃
〃He's got no place here tonight；〃 Bloxham said。
Again； Dowd offered to wait below； but Oscar would have none of it。 〃Heaven forfend；〃 he said。 〃You can wait upstairs。 Enjoy the view。〃
All this irritated Bloxham mightily； but Oscar was not an easy man to deny。 They ascended in silence。 Once on the top floor Dowd was left to entertain himself； and Bloxham led Godolphin through to the chamber。 They were all waiting； and there was accusation on every face。 A few…Shales； certainly； and Charlotte Feaver…didn't attempt to disguise their pleasure that the Society's most ebullient and unrepentant member was here finally called to heel。
〃Oh； I'm sorry；〃 Oscar said； as they closed the doors behind him。 〃Have you been waiting long？〃
Outside； in one of the deserted antechambers； Dowd listened to his tinny little radio and mused。 At seven the news bulletin brought a report of a motorway collision which had claimed the lives of an entire family traveling north for Christmas； and of prison riots that had ignited in Bristol and Manchester； with inmates claiming that presents from loved ones had been tampered with and destroyed by prison officers。 There was the usual collection of war updates； then the weather report； which promised a gray Christmas； acpanied by a springlike balm。 This would on past experience coax the crocuses out in Hyde Park； only to be spiked by frost in a few days' time。 At eight； still waiting by the window； he heard a second bulletin correcting one of the reports from the first。 A survivor had been claimed from the entangled vehicles on the motorway： a tot of three months； found orphaned but unscathed in the wreckage。 Sitting in the cold gloom； Dowd began to weep quietly； which was an experience as far beyond his true emotional capacity as cold was beyond his nerve endings。 But he'd trained himself in the craft of grief with the same mitment to feigning humanity as he had learning to shiver： his tutor； the Bard； Lear his favorite lesson。 He cried for the child； and for the crocuses； and was still moist…eyed when he heard the voices in the chamber suddenly rise up in rage。 The door was flung open； and Oscar called him in； despite shouts of plaint from some of the other members。
〃This is an outrage； Godolphin！〃 Bloxham yelped。
〃You drive me to it！〃 was Oscar's reply； his performance at fever pitch。 Clearly he'd been having a bad time of it。 The sinews in his neck stood out like knotted string； sweat gleamed in the pouches beneath his eyes； every word brought flecks of spittle。 〃You don't know the half of it！〃 he was saying。 〃Not the half。 We're being conspired against； by forces we can barely conceive of。 This man Chant was undoubtedly one of their agents。 They can take human form！〃
〃Godolphin； this is absurd；〃 Alice Tyrwhitt said。
〃You don't believe me？〃
〃No； I don't。 And I certainly dont want your bum…boy here listening to us debate。 Will you please remove him from the chamber？〃
〃But he has evidence to support my thesis；〃 Oscar insisted。
〃Oh； does he？〃 said Shales。
〃He'll have to show you himself；〃 Oscar said； turning to Dowd。 〃You're going to have to show them； I'm afraid；〃 he said； and as he spoke reached into his jacket。
An instant before the blade emerged； Dowd realized Godolphin's intent and started to turn away； but Oscar had the edge； and it came forth glittering。 Dowd felt his master's hand on his neck and heard shouts of horror on all sides。 Then he was thrown back across the table； sprawling beneath the lights like an unwilling patient。 The surgeon followed through with one swift stab； striking Dowd in the middle of his chest。
〃You want proof？〃 Oscar yelled； through Dowd's screams and the din of shouts around the table。 〃You want proof？ Then here it is！〃
His bulk put weight behind the blade； driving it first to the right； then to the left； encountering no obstruction from rib or breastbone。 Nor was there blood； only a fluid the color of brackish water； that dribbled from the wounds and ran across the table。 Dowd's head thrashed to and fro as this indignity was visited upon him； only once raising his gaze to stare accusingly at Godolphin； who was too busy about this undoing to return the look。 Despite protests from all sides he didn't halt his labors until the body before him had been opened from the navel to throat； and Dowd's thrashings had ceased。 The stench from the carcass filled the chamber： a pungent mixture of sewage and vanilla。 It drove two of the witnesses to the door； one of them Bloxham； whose nausea overtook him before he could reach the corridor。 But his gaggings and moans didn't slow Godol…phin by a beat。 Without hesitation he plunged his arm into the ope