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〃Good；〃 I said； 〃then hand me over twenty credits and you've got the job。〃 Well； that began quite an argument。 They love to haggle。 But I am not too bad at that。 We finally settled for ten credits kickback。
I held out my hand。 He said； 〃Oh； kickbacks can't be paid until the finance office pays the bill。 There's rumors about you people。〃 He smiled； still friendly。 〃I'll get on the job right away and in six months you'll have your ten credits。〃 I couldn't cancel the order。 It would have been too obviously just a chance to gouge some money。
He left。
Somewhat bitterly； I sat back down at my desk and out of spite wouldn't stamp the original bill from the other contractor。 That would show them！ An officer has to have some pride。 Even in the Apparatus。
Chapter 4
Several times I half made up my mind to go down to the hangar to see what was going on with Heller。 Each time I got a pain in my stomach。
But pain or no pain； I was hungry and one of those times I made it out to my airbus。
I was amazed to see the driver had everything out and was cleaning the vehicle up。 Unheard of。 He had never done it before。 He had also spread my gear around on the parking plot to air and get the garbage smell out。 Until he saw me； he was whistling away。
〃You going down to see Heller？〃 he said。
The pain hit me。 After a moment I shook my head。 It occurred to me that I could send him down。 But Heller had already undoubtedly overpaid him and he had just been lying about the two credits。 There was no relief to be found there。 I was in no shape for a fight。
I forbade him to go near the hangar。 Heller had sent him on an errand to Fleet for cleaning supplies。 Who knows what other messages Heller would send to Fleet？ I had a feeling I really ought to die and get it over with for it was only a matter of time before the sky fell in on me。 They'd catch Krak。 Or Lombar would realize we weren't gone。 Or the Crown inspectors would show up。 There wasn't a thing I could do about any of it。 To Hells with the ladder to the roof。 I ought to just dive out the toilet window and get it over with。
I went back inside。 There are quite a few rooms to Section 451； what with all the files。 I never found out how many personnel it really had due to the padded list and Bawtch's and other high…up rake…offs。 But in this main room there were forty…one clerks shuffling papers。 I knew some of them and knew about others。 But I didn't speak to them and they never speak to me。 I wandered back into my own office。
My stomach hurt。 I gloomed。
Maybe it was because I was hungry and thirsty。 I had had only one sip of hot jolt the dawn before； and now that I thought of it； I had not eaten or drunk anything the day before that。 Forty…eight hours； really。 My stomach hurt too much。 I began to have an odd sort of hallucination。 I actually menced to believe I was sitting in the caves of the offices in Turkey on Blito…P3。 I had my own desk。 Some of the personnel were there； smiling； friendly。 I was stamping manifests of freighter cargo and every time my identoplate went down on one； the clerks would all applaud and say how great that was。 Everything was going well。 I was far； far away from Voltar。 A beautiful Turkish girl； a dancer； came in through the door and began to dance slowly and suggestively toward me； her lips and eyes inviting。 She also had her hands full； money in one and FOOD； delicious Turkish baklava； in the other。
I opened my mouth to speak to her in Turkish。 And then； with a shock； I came to my senses。 I had actually seen the girl！ I had heard the coins clink！ I had smelled the food！
I knew I was going crazy。
How I knew this was very simple。 But I had better explain it。 While I didn't do well in the Royal Academy； when I went to the Apparatus schools I was a whiz； especially in languages。
Of course； they have very good teachers there。 They have to。 They must teach about four hundred languages just to cover the 110 planets of the Voltar Confederacy。 Although Voltarian； imported from the home galaxy； is standard in the schools everywhere； the work of the Apparatus takes one too often into the back country where Standard Voltarian is unknown。 And then there are at least ten thousand languages of enemy planets or planets marked for invasion。
They have a cunning system of gradual approach。 It graduates upwards from child's blocks to primers and then higher。 In the case of Blito…P3； the route for English is blocks； 〃kindergarten primers；〃 ic books； technical books。
The ic book I chose was one called Bugs Bunny。 Actually； I recall with a smile the first error I made。 I thought the actor named Bugs Bunny was the true shape and behavior of the people of Earth where I had not yet been。 How my professor laughed！ He pointed out that the true shape and behavior of Earth people was to be found in the same ic book。 He was called 〃Elmer Fudd。〃 But Bugs Bunny； I must say； has a way with him。 Bugs is cunning。 And he certainly can handle people。 So it was obvious to me that they knew how to handle people on Earth。 And when some of the scientists around the school told me there was not much difference between Earth's ic books and their technical books； I took the hint。 One can choose his own technical subjects for reading so I chose a subject they call； down there； 〃psychology。〃 It is a government monopoly but it is taught in their universities。 They claim everybody is evil。 They say sentient beings are animals and have no soul。 And while this last is unique to Earth and is not believed on any other planet anywhere； I so often fervently hope that I will never live another life anywhere that I was eager to accept it。 And naturally； like Lombar； I believed everybody was evil。
So here I had a real gold mine。 I read and read those textbooks。 Like Bugs Bunny does； the psychologist teaches you how to get around everybody。
It is really due to this extensive study that I owe my remarkable ability to handle people。
I was diffident about writing this down in this work for two reasons： people will think I am a nut； and it is really the trade secret on which I operate in the Apparatus on Voltar。 Even primitives have secret wisdoms。
So when I saw that Turkish girl； I knew exactly what had happened： I was experiencing 〃psychogenic hallucination based on fulfillment…denial。〃 From this； I naturally understood that I wanted to get the Hells out of here。 It came as a flash。
However； although I now had the proper label and understood it pletely； I still sat there thinking from time to time I was at the Turkish base on Earth and even reached out a time or two to take some of the cakes the girl had put on the desk。
This got me to wondering how I would cope with all the paper stamping I would have to do when I was on Earth。 And this led me to wonder how the bales of forms would get to Earth and back。 I couldn't imagine them ing as heavily abused freight。 Bawtch would have a fit if the corners were wrinkled。
Then； as the day crept on and I got hungrier and thirstier and any hopes of eating seemed postponed at least a year until I could draw pay again…unless I lost my paychecks； which would make it five years and maybe never…I got more and more wor