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〃You know you're not supposed to sleep in here；〃 said old Bawtch； peevishly。
〃Whose office is it； if it isn't mine？〃 I muttered from the floor under his big feet。
〃Now get away from the side of the desk；〃 he said。 〃I've got to stand there to put these papers down。〃 And it was true。 He was standing there with about a yard…high stack of documents and forms。 I understood the situation then。 He had needed the top of the desk to put this massive stack of papers on it。
I scrambled sideways out of the road and got to my feet。 〃That's an awful lot of papers；〃 I said。
He had gotten the load down and was stacking it by categories。 〃You might drop by once in a while to validate forms。 I can do all the rest of your work。 But not push your identoplate。 You do remember how to push it onto a piece of paper； don't you？〃 I detected a sneer。
Bawtch； for some reason； has never liked me。 He stands…I had better say stoops…about six feet tall。 He has two wild tufts of gray wool that stand out on either side above his ears； his nose is so sharp you could cut paper with it； he wears black blinders to keep light from side…striking his protruding black eyes。 He doesn't talk； really： he bites。 I think about eighty years ago he had ambitions to be an officer。 The highest he ever made was chief clerk of Section 451。 I worked it all out once。 He is just jealous。
He was standing there threateningly to ensure I sat down and started stamping。 〃You might at least bring me some of the clerk's hot jolt；〃 I said。
〃The office funds are totally depleted。 We heard a rumor you had been transferred elsewhere and we had a party。 Then we heard you had been left on post and we had a wake。 There is no jolt； hot or otherwise。〃 I sat down； got out my identoplate and started to stamp。 I was hungry and wondered if paper were edible。 If it were； there was sure a feast here。 The Apparatus rides； walks and sleeps on forms； forms； forms； nearly all of them lies。
Manifests for supplies that were personally stolen； certifications of payrolls that were never paid； sums scheduled for informers that went into the pockets of agents instead； personnel lists which falsely attested twice the number； 〃customer expenses〃 from the base chief in Turkey that were really fees of local prostitutes for himself： tons of made…out forms； the usual fare of the Apparatus。
I reduced the pile about half in half an hour。 I was just about to bang my identoplate down on the next one when my attention was drawn to it simply by all the numerous currency symbols on it。 I was broke。 Here were all these people getting fat but not me。 I stared at it： Renovations； C764。9 it said at the bottom of the figure column。
〃This is local；〃 I said。 〃Renovations？ For this place？〃 Bawtch muttered to himself something about my having the memory of an insect。 Aloud； he said； 〃That's the repairs on the roof last year。 This roof。 The rain was ing down on our papers。 The work was done。 You even plained about the noise。 The bill has been presented several times。 You always find something else to do before you get that far down in the pile。 The contractor has been on the phone twice a day for his money。 Stamp it。〃
〃What's this 'Unused Allocation' down here at the bottom？〃 I said。 〃C231。〃
〃I was nice enough to think； when I made the official request for funds； that you might like to get your office redone。 You never said what you wanted done so it's unused。〃 I looked around。 There was a little paint peeling off the walls and a water stain over only half the ceiling。 〃I never could see anything wrong with it。〃 A cunning thought had hit me； as yet only a proton moving out of the nucleus of an idea。 Contractors kicked back when it was demanded。 〃Get me the original authorization；〃 I ordered sternly。 〃Oh； I'll keep stamping the rest；〃 I added hurriedly and only then did he move off。
I had finished the rest of。 the pile by the time he came back。 He was wiping hot jolt off his mouth。 But I had other things in mind。 He had the additional； unused two…hundred…and…thirty…one credit slip。 I took it。 〃I'll handle this now。〃 He carted away the tall stack of forms and I sat there looking at the two sheets。 Now； first； let's see if I could get a kickback from the contractor who had done the work。 He was pretty anxious to get paid； it being so overdue。
I got him on the municator box。 〃You want this roof job paid fast？〃 I said and gave him the number。
〃Who is this？〃
〃Officer Gris。〃 He hung up。 Well； that was a dead end。 Bawtch had obviously been saying things behind my back。
I sat and thought。 Redecorating this place was a waste of time。 Who cared about pretty walls？ Something more in keeping with my profession。
I had to go to the toilet。 Now； one of the privileges of being head of the section was a private toilet opening off the office。 While I was in there； I looked around。 It was pretty messed up with paper scraps and all。 When I finished； I chanced to look out the window。 And it was then that the proton moved all the way out and went bang！
The toilet window of my office is right above a five…hundred…foot straight drop down the cliff into the River Wiel。 Standing on tiptoe I could even see the river edge。
I went right back and put a call through to a building contractor we had never used。 And to prove we had never used him； he was over there inside of fifteen minutes。
〃I am an influential executive；〃 I told him。
He looked around。 〃Oh； I can see that；〃 he said。
〃I have an unused allocation for two hundred and thirty…one credits。〃
〃So little；〃 he said。 But I knew he was just trying to act like a big contractor。 They are hungry these guys。 I was； too。
〃e with me；〃 I said。 I took him into the toilet。 〃Now you see this wall？〃 And I tapped it。 〃I want it to be brought forward a bit and a secret undetectable door put in it。 Then behind it； I want a ladder and a hatchway to the roof。〃 He inspected it and shrugged。 It looked easy enough to do。
〃Now you see this window？〃 I tapped it。 〃I want the glass changed to a type called silent…break。〃
〃Well； I can do all that。 But why？〃
〃People are sometimes after me；〃 I said。
〃Ah； you're part of the Apparatus。 I understand。〃 But he hesitated。 〃I still don't get what you mean to do。〃
〃There's no back door to my office；〃 I said。 〃If I were chased in here； there would be no way out。 But if this job I'm asking for gets done； I can rush into the toilet； smash the window； duck through the secret door； climb the ladder and get out on the roof。〃 He still looked a bit puzzled。
〃If the glass is silent…break type； it gives me time to get into the secret door and out。〃 He got up on the toilet bowl and looked down。 〃That's a drop of five hundred feet and into a wild river！〃
〃Exactly；〃 I said。 〃They'll think I made an impossible attempt。 No bodies are ever recovered from that river as we in the Apparatus very well know。 They won't even look for me！ But I'll be on the roof。 Now don't bother your head about spy tradecraft。 That's my department。 Can you build it？〃 He said he could although the allocation would be a little tight。
〃Good；〃 I said； 〃then hand me over twenty credits and you've got the job。〃 Well； that began quite an argument。