按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！
that was almost too small。 For the last time； he hoped。 He had a pair of blankets in his lap。 All the pills he had cached under the mattress were wrapped in a Kleenex tucked into his underwear。 He meant to get out if he could rain or no rain； this was his chance and this time he meant to take it。 Sidewinder was downhill and the road would be slippery in the rain and it was darker than a mineshaft； he meant to try it all the same。 He hadn't lived the life of a hero or a saint； but he did not intend to die like an exotic bird in a zoo。
He vaguely remembered an evening he'd spent drinking Scotch with a gloomy playwright named Bernstein at the Lion's Head； down in the Village （and if he lived to see the Village again he would get down on whatever remained of his knees and kiss the grimy sidewalk of Christopher Street）。 At some point the conversation had turned to the Jews living in Germany during the uneasy four or five years before the Wehrmacht rolled into Poland and the festivities began in earnest。 Paul remembered telling Bernstein； who had lost an aunt and a grandfather in the Holocaust； that he didn't understand why the Jews in Germany … hell； all over Europe but especially in Germany … hadn't gotten out while there was still time。 They were not； by and large； stupid people； and many had had first…hand experience of such persecution。 Surely they had seen what was ing。 So why had they stayed？
Bernstein's answer had struck him as frivolous and cruel and inprehensible： Most of them had pianos。 We Jews are very partial to the piano。 When you own a piano； it's harder to think about moving。
Now he understood。 Yes。 At first it was his broken legs； and crushed pelvis。 Then； God help him； the book had taken off。 In a crazy way he was even having fun with it。 It would be easy … too easy … to blame everything on his broken bones； or the dope； when in fact so much of it had been the book。 That and the droning passage of days with their simple convalescent pattern。 Those things … but mostly the stupid goddam book … had been his piano。 What would she do if he was gone when she came back from her Laughing Place？ Burn the manuscript？
〃I don't give a fuck；〃 he said； and this was almost the truth。 If he lived； he could write another book … re…create this one； even； if he wanted to。 But a dead man couldn't write a book any more than he could buy a new piano。
He went into the parlor。 It had been tidy before； but now there were dirty dishes stacked on every available surface； it looked to Paul as if every one in the house must be here。 Annie apparently not only pinched and slapped herself when she was feeling depressed。 It looked like she really chowed down as well； and never mind cleaning up after。 He half…remembered the stinking wind that had blown down his throat during his time in the cloud and felt his stomach； clench。 Most of the remains were of sweet things。 Ice…cream had dried or was drying in many of the bowls and soup dishes。 There were crumbs of cake and smears of pie on the plates。 A mound of lime Jell…O covered with a crack…glaze of dried whipped cream stood on top of the TV next to a two…liter plastic bottle of Pepsi and a gravy…boat。 The Pepsi bottle looked almost as big as the nosecone of a Titan…II rocket。 Its surface was dull and smeary； almost opaque。 He guessed she had drunk directly from it； and that her fingers had been covered with gravy or ice…cream when she did it。 He had not heard the clink of silverware and that was not surprising because there was none here。 Dishes and： bowls and plate； but no cutlery。 He saw drying drips and splashes … again； mostly of ice…cream … on the rug and couch。
That was what I saw on her housecoat。 The stuff she was eating。 And what was on her breath。 His image of Annie as Piltdown woman recurred。 He saw her sitting in here and scooping ice…cream into her mouth； or maybe handfuls of half…congealed chicken gravy with a Pepsi chaser； simply eating and drinking in a deep depressed daze。
The penguin sitting on his block of ice was still on the knickknack table； but she had thrown many of the other ceramic pieces into the er； where their littered remains were scattered … sharp little hooks and shards。
He kept seeing her fingers as they sank into the rat's body。 The red smears of her fingers on the sheet。 He kept seeing her licking the blood from her fingers； doing it as absently as she must have eaten the ice…cream and Jell…O and soft black jellyroll cake。 These images were terrible； but they were a wonderful incentive to hurry。
The spray of dried flowers on the coffee…table had overturned； beneath the table； barely visible； lay a dish of crusted custard pudding and a large book。 MEMORY LANE； it said。 Trips down Memory Lane when you're feeling depressed are never a very good idea； Annie … but I suppose you know that by this point in your life。
He rolled across the room。 Straight ahead was the kitchen。 On the right a wide； short hallway went down to Annie's front door。 Beside this hallway a flight of stairs went up to the second floor。 Giving the stairs only a brief glance （there were drips of ice…cream on some of the carpeted stair levels and glazey smears of it on the banister）； Paul rolled down to the door。 He thought that if there was going to be a way out for him； tied to this chair as he was； it would be by way of the kitchen door … the one Annie used when she went out to feed the animals； the one she galloped from when Mr Rancho Grande showed up … but he ought to check this one。 He might get a surprise。
He didn't。
The porch stairs were every bit as steep as he had feared； but even if there had been a wheelchair ramp （a possibility he never would have accepted in a spirited game of Can You？； even if a friend had suggested it）； he couldn't have used it。 There were three locks on the door。 The police…bar he could have coped with。 The other two were Kreigs； the best locks in the whole world； according to his ex…cop friend Tom Twyford。 And where were the keys？ Umm 。。。 let me see。 On their way to Annie's Laughing Place； maybe？ Yes…siree Bob！ Give that man a cigar and a blowtorch to light it with！
He reversed down the hall； fighting panic； reminding； himself he hadn't expected much from the front door anyway。 He pivoted the chair once he was in the parlor and rolled into the kitchen。 This was an old…fashioned room with bright linoleum on the floor and a pressed…tin ceiling。 The refrigerator was old but quiet。 There were three or four； magnets stuck to its door … not surprisingly； they all looked； like candy： a piece of bubble…gum； a Hershey Bar； a Tootsie Roll。 One of the cabinet doors was open and he could see shelves neatly covered with oilcloth。 There were big window over the sink and they would let in a lot of light even on cloudy days。 It should have been a cheery kitchen but wasn't。 The open garbage can overflowed onto the floor and emitted the warm reek of spoiling food； but that wasn't the only thing wrong； or the worst smell。 There was another that seemed to exist mostly in his mind； but which was no less real for that。 It was parfum de Wilkes； a psychic odor of obsession。
There were three doors in the room； two to the left and one straight ahead； bet