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'Our boy' stood up； feeling a shade fragile。 It seemed to have been a long day。 Archie came out into the hall with Charles and me and offered his hand in farewell。 Charles shook warmly。 Archie lifted my wrist and looked at the swelling and the deep bruising that was already crimson and black。
He said； 'You've had difficulty holding your glass all evening。'
I shrugged a fraction； long resigned to occupational damage。 My hand was still a hand； and that was all that mattered。
'No explanation？' Archie asked。
I shook my head。
'Stone walls tell more；' Charles informed him calmly。
Archie； releasing my wrist； said to me； 'The British Horseracing Board wants you to double…check some of their own members for loyalty。 Ultra…secret digging。'
'They wouldn't ask me。' I shook my head。 'I'm not the new people's idea of reliable。'
'They asked me；' he said； the eyes blazing with amusement。 'I said it would be you or nobody。'
'Nobody；' I said。
He laughed。 'You start as soon as the Quint thing is over。'
The trouble； I thought； as I sat quietly beside Charles as he drove to Aynsford； was that for me the Quint thing would never be over。 Ellis might or might not go to jail 。。。 but that wouldn't be the end for either of us。 Gordon's obsession might deepen。 Ellis might maim more than horses。 In both of them lay a pulsive disregard of natural law。
No one could ever be prehensively protected from obsession。 One simply had to live as best one could and disregard the feral threat lying in wait： and I would somehow have to shake Gordon loose from staking out my Pont Square door。
Charles said； 'Do you consider that transferring Yorkshire's secret files to your own puter was at all immoral？ Was it 。。。 theft？'
He spoke without censure； but censure was implied。 I remembered a discussion we'd had once along the lines of what was honourable and what was not。 He'd said I had a vision of honour that made my life a purgatory and I'd said he was wrong； and that purgatory was abandoning your vision of honour and knowing you'd done it。 'Only for you； Sid；' he'd said。 'The rest of the world has no difficulty at all。'
It seemed he was applying to me my own rash judgement。 Was stealing knowledge ever justified； or was it not？
I said without self…excuse； 'It was theft； and dishonourable； and I would do it again。'
'And purgatory can wait？'
I said with amusement； 'Have you read The Pump？
After about five miles he said； 'That's specious。'
'Mm。'
'The Pump's a different sort of purgatory。'
I nodded and said idly； 'The anteroom to hell。'
He frowned； glancing across in distaste。 'Has hell arrived； then？' He hated excess emotion。 I cooled it。
I said； 'No。 Sorry。 It's been a long day。'
He drove another mile； then asked； 'How did you hurt your hand？'
I sighed。 'I don't want a fuss。 Don't fuss； Charles； if I tell you。'
'No。 All right。 No fuss。'
'Then 。。。 Ellis had a go at it。'
'Ellis？'
'Mm。 Lord Tilepit and Owen Yorkshire watched Ellis enjoy it。 That's how they now know he's guilty as charged with the colts。 If Ellis had had shears instead of a wrench to use on my wrist； I would now have no hands and for God's sake； Charles； keep your eyes on the road。'
'But Sid。。：
'No fuss。 You promised。 There'll be no lasting harm。' I paused。 'If he'd wanted to kill me today； he could have done it； but instead he gave me a chance to escape。 He wanted 。。。' I swallowed； 'he wanted to make me pay for defeating him 。。。 and he did make me pay 。。。 and on Monday in court I'll try to disgrace him for ever 。。。 and I loathe it。'
He drove to Aynsford in a silence I understood to be at least empty of condemnation。 Braking outside the door he said regretfully； 'If you and Ellis hadn't been such good friends 。。。 no wonder poor Ginnie couldn't stand it。'
Charles saw the muscles stiffen in my face。
'What is it； Sid？' he asked。
'I 。。。 I may have made a wrong assumption。'
'What assumption？'
'Mm？' I said vaguely。 'Have to think。'
'Then think in bed；' he said lightly。 'It's late。'
I thought for half the night。 Ellis's revenge brutally throbbed in my fingers。 Ellis had tied my wrists and given me thirty seconds 。。。 I would be dead； I thought； if we hadn't been friends。
At Aynsford I kept duplicates of all the things I'd lost in my car…battery charger； razor； clothes and so on…all except the mobile phone。 I did have the SIM card； but nothing to use it in。
The no…car situation was solved again by TeleDrive who came to pick me up on Sunday morning。
To Charles's restrained suggestion that I pass the day resting with him…'A game of chess； perhaps？'…I replied that I was going to see Rachel Ferns。 Charles nodded。
'e back；' he said； 'if you need to。'
'Always。'
'Take care of yourself； Sid。'
Rachel； Linda told me on the telephone； was home from the hospital for the day。
'Oh； do e；' she begged。 'Rachel needs you。'
I went empty…handed with no new fish or wigs； but it didn't seem to matter。
Rachel herself looked bloodless； a white wisp of a child in the foothills of a far country。 In the five days since I'd seen her； the bluish shadows under her eyes had deepened； and she had lost weight so that the round cheeks of the steroids under the bald head and the big shadowed eyes gave her the look of an exotic little bird； unlike life。
Linda hugged me and cried on my shoulder in the kitchen。
'It's good news； really；' she said； sobbing。 'They've found a donor。'
'But that's marvellous' Like a sunburst of hope； I thought； but Linda still wept。
'He's a Swiss；' she said。 'He's ing from Switzerland。 He's ing on Wednesday。 Joe is paying his air fare and the hotel bills。 Joe says money's no object for his little girl。'
'Then stop crying。'
'Yes 。。。 but it may not work。'
'And it may；' I said positively。 'Where's the gin？'
She laughed shakily。 She poured two glasses。 I still didn't much care for gin but it was all she liked。 We clinked to the future and she began talking about paella for lunch。
Rachel was half sitting； half lying； on a small sofa that had been repositioned in the sitting…room so that she could look straight and closely into the fish tank。 I sat beside her and asked how she felt。
'Did my mum tell you about the transplant？' she said。
'Terrific news。'
'I might be able to run again。'
Running； it was clear from her pervading lassitude； must have seemed at that point as distant as the moon。
Rachel said； 'I begged to e home to see the fishes。 I have to go back tonight； though。 I hoped you would e。 I begged God。'
'You knew I would e。'
'I meant today； while I'm home。'
'I've been busy since I saw you on Tuesday。'
'I know； Mummy said so。 The nurses tell me when you phone every day。'
Pegotty was crawling all round the floor； growing in size and agility and putting everything unsuitable in his mouth； making his sister laugh。
'He's so funny；' she said。 'They won't let him e to the hospital。 I begged to see him and the fishes。 They told me the transplant is going to make me feel sick； so I wanted to e home first。'
'Yes；' I said。
Linda produced steamy rice with