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sidneysheldon.astrangerinthemirror-第14章

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 Toby felt his anger begin to seep away。 
 〃I think one day you could be really good if you're willing to work hard at it。 Are you?〃 
 He gave her a slow; beatific grin and said; 〃Let's roll up our sleeves and go to work。〃 
 
 
 Josephine worked very hard Saturday morning; helping her mother clean the house。 At noon Cissy and some other friends picked her up to take her on a picnic。 Mrs。 Csinski watched Josephine being driven off in the long limousine filled with the children of the Oil People。 She thought:  〃One day something bad is going to happen to Josephine。 I shouldn't let her be with those people。 They're the Devil's children。〃 And she wondered if there was a devil in Josephine。 She would talk to the Reverend Damian。 He would know what to do。 
 
 Actors West was divided into two sections: the Showcase group; which consisted of the more experienced actors; and the Workshop group。 It was the Showcase actors who staged plays that were covered by the studio talent scouts。 Toby had been put with the Workshop actors。 Alice Tanner had told him that it might be six months or a year before he would be ready to do a Showcase play。 Toby found the classes interesting; but the magic ingredient was missing: the audience; the applauders; the laughters; the people who would adore him。 
 In the weeks since Toby had begun classes; he had seen very little of the head of the school。 Occasionally; Alice Tanner Would drop into the Workshop to watch improvisations and give a word of encouragement; or Toby would run into her on his way to class。 But he had hoped for something more intimate。 He found himself thinking about Alice Tanner a great deal。 She was what Toby thought of as a classy dame; and that appealed to him; he felt it was what he deserved。 The idea of her crippled leg had bothered him at first; but it had slowly begun to take on a sexual fascination。 Toby talked to her again about putting him in a Showcase play where the critics and talent scouts could see him。 〃You're not ready yet;〃 Alice Tanner told him。 She was standing in his way; keeping him from his success。 I have to do something about that; Toby decided。 
 A Showcase play was being staged; and on the opening night Toby was seated in a middle row next to a student named Karen; a fat little character actress from his class。 Toby had played scenes with Karen; and he knew two things about her: she never wore underclothes and she had bad breath。 She had done everything but send up smoke signals to let Toby know that she wanted to go to bed with him; but he had pretended not to understand。 Jesus; he thought; fucking her would be like being sucked into a tub of hot lard。 
 As they sat there waiting for the curtain to go up; Karen excitedly pointed out the critics from the Los Angeles Times and Herald…Express; and the talent scouts from Twentieth Century…Fox; MGM and Warner Brothers。 It enraged Toby。 They were here to see the actors up on the stage; while he sat in the audience like a dummy。 He had an almost uncontrollable impulse to stand up and do one of his routines; dazzle them; show them what real talent looked like。 The audience enjoyed the play; but Toby was obsessed with the talent scouts; who sat within touching distance; the men who held his future in their hands。 Well; if Actors West was the lure to bring them to him; Toby would use it; but he had no intention of waiting six months; or even six weeks。 
 The following morning; Toby went to Alice Tanner's office。 
 〃How did you like the play?〃 she asked。 
 〃It was wonderful;〃 Toby said。 〃Those actors are really great。〃 He gave a self…deprecating smile。 〃I see what you mean when you say I'm not ready yet。〃 
 〃They've had more experience than you; that's all; but you have a unique personality。 You're going to make it。 Just be patient。〃 
 He sighed。 〃I don't know。 Maybe I'd be better off forgetting the whole thing and selling insurance or something。〃 
 She looked at him in quick surprise。 〃You mustn't;〃 she said。 
 Toby shook his head。 〃After seeing those pros last night; I  I don't think I have it。〃 
 〃Of course you have; Toby。 I won't let you talk like that。〃 
 In her voice was the note he had been waiting to hear。 It was not a teacher talking to a pupil now; it was a woman talking to a man; encouraging him; caring about him。 Toby felt a small thrill of satisfaction。 He shrugged helplessly。 
 〃I don't know; anymore。 I'ts all rifle in this town。 I have no one to talk to。〃 
 〃You can always talk to me; Toby。 I'd like to be your friend。〃 He could hear the sexual huskiness e into her voice。 Toby's blue eyes held all the wonder in the world as he gazed at her。 As she watched him; he walked over and locked the office door。 He returned to her; fell on his knees; buried his head in her lap and; as her fingers touched his hair; he slowly lifted her skirt; exposing the poor thigh encased in the cruel steel brace。 Gently removing the brace; he tenderly kissed the red marks left by the steel bars。 Slowly; he unfastened her garter belt; all the time telling Alice of his love and his need of her; and kissed his way down to the moist lips exposed before him。 He carried her to the deep leather couch and made love to her。 That evening; Toby moved in with Alice Tanner。 
 In bed that night; Toby found that Alice Tanner was a pitifully lonely woman; desperate for someone to talk to; someone to love。 She had been born in Boston。 Her father was a wealthy manufacturer who had given her a large allowance and paid no further attention to her。 Alice had loved the theater and had studied to be an actress; but in college she had contracted polio and that had put an end to her dream。 She told Toby how it had affected her life。 The boy she was engaged to had jilted her when he learned the news。 Alice had left home and married a psychiatrist; who mitted suicide six months later。 
 It was as though all her emotions had been bottled up inside her。 Now they poured out in a violent eruption that left her feeling drained and peaceful and marvelously content。 Toby made love to Alice until she almost fainted with ecstasy; filling her with his huge penis and making slow circles with his hips until he seemed to be touching every part of her body。 She moaned; 〃Oh; darling; I love you so much。 Oh; God; how I love this!〃 
 But when it came to school; Toby found that he had no influence with Alice。 He talked to her about putting him in the next Showcase play; introducing him to casting directors; speaking to important studio people about him; but she was firm。 
 〃You'll hurt yourself if you push too fast; darling。 Rule one: the first impression you make is the most important。 If they don't like you the first time; they'll never go back to see you a second time。 You've got to be ready。〃 
 The instant the words were out; she became The Enemy。 She was against him。 Toby swallowed his fury and forced himself to smile at her。 
 〃Sure。 It's just that I'm impatient。 I want to make it for you as much as for me。〃 
 〃Do you? Oh; Toby; I love you so much!〃 
 〃I love you; too; Alice。〃 And he smiled into her adoring eyes。 
 He knew he had to circumvent this bitch who was standing in the way of what he wanted。 He hated her 
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