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her until the sands all washed away to sea。 She gave a terrible scream； and I thought I had lost my Deoce forever。 Silence 。。。 So thick and heavy after that scream； I can feel it stifle me as I scratch these words。 Then I saw my daughter's head emerge between Deoce's bloody thighs。 My wife choked back another scream； and the babe came the rest of the way into the practiced hands of the midwife。 A moment later； Emilie gave her first cry。 My daughter was born。
〃Is she beautiful？〃 Deoce asked in a weak voice。
I looked at the bloody little thing； with her eyes squeezed tight shut。 She was howling now； angry for being plucked from warm safety。 〃Yes； my love；〃 I answered。 〃She is beautiful。〃 And as I watched the midwives clean her and then wrap her in soft linen to ready Emilie to meet her mother for the first time； I really did believe this so。
OUTSIDE OF A war； the second expedition to the Far Kingdoms was the largest force mounted in Orissan history。 This would be no private Finding； where a young man could gallop off wherever he chose； with however many drinking panions his father could afford。 Destiny was being gambled for； and every person in the city wanted a place at the table。 Fully two thousand would go： troops； horses and their tenders； officers and their servants； camp followers by the score to pleasure the men； cooks； bakers； armorers； bearers； and the simply curious who had influence enough to get their names on the rolls。 By unanimous acclaim； the man who would lead this great force was Janos Greycloak。
〃It wasn't much of a fight；〃 Janos said that night。 〃Cassini never even took the stage； although I saw him waiting in the wings； all blown up with his own importance。 He was pacing back and forth rehearsing his acceptance speech。 If that wasn't enough of a clue for a poor； dim…witted soldier such as myself； the fact all the men on the stage were our enemies was enough to show that someone had filled pips on the dice with lead。〃 Janos shook his head； still in amazed shock。 〃As soon as I took my place； the whole crowd began shouting like before…'Janos。 Janos。' And all that rot。〃 His teeth flashed； and I knew he hadn't found it 〃rot〃 at all。 〃But this time it was much louder； and the voices were so furious； you had to be a fool not to know there was blood in their eyes。 Some fellows made so bold as to rush the platform； but fell back when I asked them not to be so rude and to let these worthy gentlemen speak。〃
Janos gulped down a tumbler of wine； then started laughing。 〃Oh； I wish you could have been there； my friend；〃 he said。 〃There's been nothing in your experience quite like it。〃 Janos said Jeneander and his friends held a hurried conference； trying to ignore the boisterous remarks of the crowd。 As Janos indicated； nothing like this had ever happened in Orissa； and our enemies were in a panic； flinching under the crowd's abuse as if they were throwing stones instead of words。 Someone in the crowd spotted Cassini； and a group charged him； but he managed to flee in time。 On the stage a decision was made； but then they began to squabble about who would deliver it to the angry citizens of Orissa。 The crowd laughed at their plight； pressing toward the stage again。 Then a Magistrate gave Jeneander a hard shove； and he stumbled forward； his image cast large by the magnification spell。 He stood quaking next to Janos。
〃I silenced our friends； and gave Jeneander my best smile of greeting；〃 Janos said。 〃I put my arm around him as if he were my brother； and I said loudly； so all could hear； 'No matter what your choice； my friend； all here know that you worthy gentlemen have labored long to arrive at your wise decision。' 〃
Janos laughed and took another gulp of wine to ease his throat。 〃Then poor Jeneander began to speak；〃 he continued。 〃His first words came out a sort of a squeaky quack； as if a mouse had mated with a duck。 But he finally got it out； his knees quaking as if we were standing in a wintry breeze。 He said； still in that high voice； 'We declare that the leader of the second expedition will be 。。。 Captain Janos Greycloak。'
〃Well； you couldn't hear a thing after that from all the shouting。 But no matter； for no sooner had the good Evocator said his piece； he and the others bolted from the stage as if they were rabbits who'd just had a great vision of a bubbling stew pot。〃 I laughed at the scene he painted until tears flowed。 I refilled our glasses； and we drank a toast to Te…Date； who had so confounded our enemies。
Then Janos turned serious。 〃I want you to know；〃 he said； 〃that no matter what follows in our lives； you could never accumulate enough deeds from me to repay the debt I owe you。〃 I made humbled； nonsense noises； but my heart was full of joy。 I heard Emilie cry somewhere in the house； and then the nursemaid's voice lifted in soft song to soothe her。 It had been a most remarkable day。
Janos heard that cry as well； and he smiled。 〃I know it is not possible for you to e with me this time；〃 he said。 〃You have too many burdens now。 But you should know I will sorely miss you。〃
〃That is kind of you to say；〃 I replied。 〃But； I know that last time I was so green that I was little real help to you。 And now you will have a great army； with many experienced； professional men to advise you。〃
Janos gave his head a hard shake。 〃Your one real flaw； my friend；〃 he said； 〃is you do not realize your own worth。 You will be a dangerous man when you do； for you have a natural talent as an adventurer。 More important； you have the strength of a firm heart and steady vision。 Don't bother denying it； I know you well； perhaps in some things better than you know yourself。 We are much alike； Amalric Antero。 As alike as if we were twins。 But you don't have my dark side； thank the gods。〃
He peered at me； and I saw from the redness in his eyes he was a little drunk。 〃I swear to you； Amalric；〃 he said； 〃when I stand in the Far Kingdoms； I will make sacrifice in your honor。 And I shall tell the masters of that place that I bring greetings from my good friend； and twin 。。。〃 His voice stopped in midsentence； and I saw his head had fallen。 I plucked the tumbler of wine from his hand before it spilled； and as I crept out of the room I heard his first； weary snore。
One month later the expedition set forth。 Every craft that could be spared had been pressed into service to carry that mighty group to the sea。 The whole city turned out to see them off。 I stood on a hill near the bend as they passed； and am not ashamed to admit I felt a little regret I was not going with them。 But when the last ship had gone； and I turned toward home； I thought of Deoce and Emilie； and my step was suddenly very light。
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
The Dark Seeker
WHAT I WRITE next is difficult。 I would pay almost any price if I could scrape this time from the scrolls of my life。 Orissa had been blessed by the gods for years。 Our sacrifices had been rewarded many times over： the harvest bountiful； the river quiescent； soldiers victorious； health excellent； and our children obedient。 Then the gods called in the debt。
For a short time after Janos left； my life was nothing but joy。 I spent every moment of free time…and robbed my b