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no stared at Nothing； his face shadowed； his own eyes glittering flatly。 When the craziness in his face was not showing； he looked like a sick child。 One of the white spiders touched Nothing's leg。
Nothing glanced at the door。 The button was pushed down。 Locked。 Would he be able to open it and jump out before the driver could grab him？ The man was bigger； though his body looked sickly and loose…jointed under the white robe。 Rain dashed against the window。 Nothing peered out through streaks of dirt and swashes of clean black night。 What was out there？ If he made a dash for it； would anybody help him； or would the albino run him down？ He stared at the milk cartons； saw again the eyes of the missing children。 Little dark smudges in a sea of red and white； utterly helpless。
The white spider was crawling up his thigh； squeezing。
〃Now we're gonna go over what you learned；〃 the man said again。 Suddenly Nothing wasn't scared anymore。 This situation was familiar。
'Why didn't you just tell me what you wanted； instead of making me read all that crap？〃
〃It's my duty；〃 the man said； but his voice shook； and his hand tightened on Nothing's leg。
Nothing didn't care what he had to do。 Whatever it was； it would be worth it to get away from this sour…smelling car； those lonely cardboard smiles。 The albino's jewel…pink eyes slipped shut as Nothing bent over his lap and pulled his robes aside。 This was clumsy magic； but it was so easy； he had learned it in a hundred drunken backseats； in Laine's bedroom on lazy afternoons laying out from school。 Sometimes older men in fancy cars would cruise past the schoolyard and park near the curb； out behind the cafeteria dumpsters。 Some of the boys； if they were saving up for a guitar or hurting for a bag of pot； would go out there and blow them for twenty dollars a throw。 That was what the sour…milk odor reminded him of。 Nothing had done it a couple of times back then； and he guessed he could manage now。
The albino had a huge erection that pulsed vivid red against all the whiteness。 Even his pubic hair was like coarse cotton。 Nothing had to stretch his mouth open until he thought his jaws would crack。 The white spiders twined in Nothing's hair and stroked Nothing's throat and shoulders with a careful； psychotic tenderness。 〃I got to do it；〃 he said as he came。 〃I got to do it。〃
His sperm was thin and milky； and burned Nothing's raw throat as it went down。 But Nothing had never minded swallowing e。 Something about it settled his stomach and made his whole body feel good。
The albino gave Nothing five dollars…five lousy dollars； Nothing amended silently。 But the night air refreshed him as he pushed open the heavy door； and he got out fast； before the man could decide that he wasn't quite saved yet； that another round of tract…reading and blowjobbing might do the trick。 The salmon…pink Continental rolled slowly away； the stained rope trailing from its rear bumper； leaving Nothing alone on the roadside。 The albino had forgotten to turn his single headlight back on； but as the ear crested a hill and disappeared； Nothing glimpsed a tiny green phosphorescence through the back window。 The red…eyed plastic Jesus； lighting the way through the night。
Nothing licked his lips。 The taste of the man's sperm； still fresh and raw； reminded him of something Laine had once told him。 Did you know； Laine had asked with innocent lasciviousness； that e has almost exactly the same chemical makeup as human blood？
The countryside was hilly； sodden； absolutely black。 Nothing tore the back of his hand on a barbed…wire fence。 Tears of pain made his eyes glisten as he sucked at the blood。 I'm alone now； all right； he thought。 Nobody in the whole world knows where I am。 His sneakers were soaked with cold rain； and his toes ached to the bone。 Long slick grass squeaked under his feet。 At last he staggered into an abandoned barn。 Great pronged shapes loomed around him abandoned farm machinery； heavy and rusted。 It might fall on him in the night； pin him to the musty floor； leave him to struggle and die alone。 He didn't care。
The rain raised dust and cobwebby chaff in the barn。 Nothing sneezed once； twice； three times…hard； choking spasms that bent him double。 The third sneeze turned into a loud sob。 He curled up beneath the loft and sucked at the blood on his hand。 His tears soaked into the dirty wooden floor。
During the night； while Nothing dreamed uneasy dreams； a small spider climbed delicately through his wet black hair。 It let itself down along the smooth line of his jawbone； lingered briefly on his lips； and ran away over the damp red…streaked fingers that Nothing pressed to his mouth； his tongue darting out to lick the blood away as he slept。
Chapter 14
It was still hot when Christian drove into Missing Mile。
He did not know he was in Missing Mile； not yet； for the road he came in on had no town limits sign。 The sign； a splintered pine plank with its painted letters aged to translucence； had been knocked down twenty years ago by a man who decided to take two lovers that night； his head lay against Vodka's breast and his hand was on Whiskey's thigh when he lost control of his car。 The sign lay several feet from the road； swathed in kudzu； stained brown with blood long dry。
So Christian did not know he was in the town； not yet。 He knew only that he was almost out of money somewhere in North Carolina； that his fuel gauge was hovering on empty； and that all day the sun had threatened to emerge from low…hanging clouds。 This； then； was where he would stop for a while。
He came in on Highway 42 and took a left； which brought him into town by way of Violin Road。 He looked at the trailers and broken…backed shacks； the weed…choked family graveyards； the heaps of rusted scrap metal； as he drove slowly past。 Christian felt no dread； no excitement； it did not really matter where he lived。 I might have gone all the way to San Francisco； he thought； and when I saw the Golden Gate Bridge and the glitter of Chinatown； I would feel this way still。 He could not go back to New Orleans； so any other place in the world would do for now。
A small child stood by the side of the road； a girl seven or eight years old but as thin as an old woman； dressed in a blue smock far too large for her。 One sleeve dangled； half torn off。 The child was swinging something in her hand。 Christian drew the car up next to her and rolled his window down。 The girl stared up at him。 Her eyes were gray； as washed out as the sky。
〃Can you tell me where I am？〃 he asked。
The girl lifted one knobby shoulder； then let it drop。 From her hand the object still swung…a rat； its fur matted with the dust of the road； its head and forequarters mangled； dried。
Christian made himself look back at the girl's face。 Her pale eyes seemed depthless； he could hardly tell where the irises faded into the whites。 He caught the sour brown odor of death from the rat； the faint tang of dried blood。 〃What's the name of the town？〃
The girl regarded him with her bottomless gaze。 There was something wrong with the symmetry of her face。 Her eyes were unevenly spaced； her forehead too low