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That… but my chaster ear will not receive
An echo of a syllable that 's wrong：
In fact； there 's nothing makes me so much grieve；
As that abominable tittle…tattle；
Which is the cud eschew'd by human cattle。
Moreover I 've remark'd （and I was once
A slight observer in a modest way）；
And so may every one except a dunce；
That ladies in their youth a little gay；
Besides their knowledge of the world； and sense
Of the sad consequence of going astray；
Are wiser in their warnings 'gainst the woe
Which the mere passionless can never know。
While the harsh prude indemnifies her virtue
By railing at the unknown and envied passion；
Seeking far less to save you than to hurt you；
Or； what 's still worse； to put you out of fashion；…
The kinder veteran with calm words will court you；
Entreating you to pause before you dash on；
Expounding and illustrating the riddle
Of epic Love's beginning； end； and middle。
Now whether it be thus； or that they are stricter；
As better knowing why they should be so；
I think you 'll find from many a family picture；
That daughters of such mothers as may know
The world by experience rather than by lecture；
Turn out much better for the Smithfield Show
Of vestals brought into the marriage mart；
Than those bred up by prudes without a heart。
I said that Lady Pinchbeck had been talk'd about…
As who has not； if female； young； and pretty？
But now no more the ghost of Scandal stalk'd about；
She merely was deem'd amiable and witty；
And several of her best bon…mots were hawk'd about：
Then she was given to charity and pity；
And pass'd （at least the latter years of life）
For being a most exemplary wife。
High in high circles； gentle in her own；
She was the mild reprover of the young；
Whenever… which means every day… they 'd shown
An awkward inclination to go wrong。
The quantity of good she did 's unknown；
Or at the least would lengthen out my song：
In brief； the little orphan of the East
Had raised an interest in her； which increased。
Juan； too； was a sort of favourite with her；
Because she thought him a good heart at bottom；
A little spoil'd； but not so altogether；
Which was a wonder； if you think who got him；
And how he had been toss'd； he scarce knew whither：
Though this might ruin others； it did not him；
At least entirely… for he had seen too many
Changes in youth； to be surprised at any。
And these vicissitudes tell best in youth；
For when they happen at a riper age；
People are apt to blame the Fates； forsooth；
And wonder Providence is not more sage。
Adversity is the first path to truth：
He who hath proved war； storm； or woman's rage；
Whether his winters be eighteen or eighty；
Hath won the experience which is deem'd so weighty。
How far it profits is another matter。…
Our hero gladly saw his little charge
Safe with a lady； whose last grown…up daughter
Being long married； and thus set at large；
Had left all the acplishments she taught her
To be transmitted； like the Lord Mayor's barge；
To the next er； or… as it will tell
More Muse…like… like to Cytherea's shell。
I call such things transmission； for there is
A floating balance of acplishment
Which forms a pedigree from Miss to Miss；
According as their minds or backs are bent。
Some waltz； some draw； some fathom the abyss
Of metaphysics； others are content
With music； the most moderate shine as wits；
While others have a genius turn'd for fits。
But whether fits； or wits； or harpsichords；
Theology； fine arts； or finer stays；
May be the baits for gentlemen or lords
With regular descent； in these our days；
The last year to the new transfers its hoards；
New vestals claim men's eyes with the same praise
Of 'elegant' et caetera； in fresh batches…
All matchless creatures； and yet bent on matches。
But now I will begin my poem。 'T is
Perhaps a little strange； if not quite new；
That from the first of Cantos up to this
I 've not begun what we have to go through。
These first twelve books are merely flourishes；
Preludios； trying just a string or two
Upon my lyre； or making the pegs sure；
And when so； you shall have the overture。
My Muses do not care a pinch of rosin
About what 's call'd success； or not succeeding：
Such thoughts are quite below the strain they have chosen；
'T is a 'great moral lesson' they are reading。
I thought； at setting off； about two dozen
Cantos would do； but at Apollo's pleading；
If that my Pegasus should not be founder'd；
I think to canter gently through a hundred。
Don Juan saw that microcosm on stilts；
Yclept the Great World； for it is the least；
Although the highest： but as swords have hilts
By which their power of mischief is increased；
When man in battle or in quarrel tilts；
Thus the low world； north； south； or west； or east；
Must still obey the high… which is their handle；
Their moon； their sun； their gas； their farthing candle。
He had many friends who had many wives； and was
Well look'd upon by both； to that extent
Of friendship which you may accept or pass；
It does nor good nor harm being merely meant
To keep the wheels going of the higher class；
And draw them nightly when a ticket 's sent：
And what with masquerades； and fetes； and balls；
For the first season such a life scarce palls。
A young unmarried man； with a good name
And fortune； has an awkward part to play；
For good society is but a game；
'The royal game of Goose；' as I may say；
Where every body has some separate aim；
An end to answer； or a plan to lay…
The single ladies wishing to be double；
The married ones to save the virgins trouble。
I don't mean this as general； but particular
Examples may be found of such pursuits：
Though several also keep their perpendicular
Like poplars； with good principles for roots；
Yet many have a method more reticular…
'Fishers for men；' like sirens with soft lutes：
For talk six times with the same single lady；
And you may get the wedding dresses ready。
Perhaps you 'll have a letter from the mother；
To say her daughter's feelings are trepann'd；
Perhaps you 'll have a visit from the brother；
All strut； and stays； and whiskers； to demand
What 'your intentions are？'… One way or other
It seems the virgin's heart expects your hand：
And between pity for her case and yours；
You 'll add to Matrimony's list of cures。
I 've known a dozen weddings made even thus；
And some of them high names： I have also known
Young men who… though they hated to discuss
Pretensions which they never dream'd to have shown…
Yet neither frighten'd by a female fuss；
Nor by mustachios moved； were let alone；
And lived； as did the broken…hearted fair；
In happier plight than if they form'd a pair。
There 's also nightly； to the uninitiated；
A peril… not indeed like love or marriage；
But not the less for this to be depreciated：
It is… I meant and mean not to disparage
The show of virtue even in the vitiated…
It adds an outward grace unto their carriage…
But to denounce the amphibious sort of harlot；
'Couleur de rose；' who 's neither white nor scarlet。
Such is your cold coquette； who can't say 'No；'
And won't say 'Yes；' and keeps you on and off…ing
On a lee…shore； till it begins to blow…
Then sees your heart wreck'd； with a