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after we had finished。
〃Three；〃 replied Harris。
〃Only three？〃 said George。 〃Are you sure？〃
〃Positive；〃 replied Harris。 〃Why？〃
〃Oh； nothing！〃 answered George。
But I don't think he quite believed Harris。
From Prague we travelled to Nuremberg； through Carlsbad。 Good
Germans； when they die； go； they say； to Carlsbad； as good Americans to
Paris。 This I doubt； seeing that it is a small place with no convenience
for a crowd。 In Carlsbad； you rise at five； the fashionable hour for
promenade； when the band plays under the Colonnade； and the Sprudel is
filled with a packed throng over a mile long； being from six to eight in the
morning。 Here you may hear more languages spoken than the Tower of
Babel could have echoed。 Polish Jews and Russian princes； Chinese
mandarins and Turkish pashas； Norwegians looking as if they had stepped
out of Ibsen's plays； women from the Boulevards； Spanish grandees and
English countesses； mountaineers from Montenegro and millionaires from
Chicago； you will find every dozen yards。 Every luxury in the world
Carlsbad provides for its visitors； with the one exception of pepper。 That
you cannot get within five miles of the town for money； what you can get
there for love is not worth taking away。 Pepper； to the liver brigade that
forms four…fifths of Carlsbad's customers； is poison； and； prevention being
better than cure； it is carefully kept out of the neighbourhood。 〃Pepper
parties〃 are formed in Carlsbad to journey to some place without the
boundary； and there indulge in pepper orgies。
Nuremberg； if one expects a town of mediaeval appearance；
disappoints。 Quaint corners； picturesque glimpses； there are in plenty；
but everywhere they are surrounded and intruded upon by the modern； and
even what is ancient is not nearly so ancient as one thought it was。 After
all； a town； like a woman； is only as old as it looks； and Nuremberg is still
a comfortable…looking dame； its age somewhat difficult to conceive under
its fresh paint and stucco in the blaze of the gas and the electric light。
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Still； looking closely； you may see its wrinkled walls and grey towers。
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CHAPTER IX
Harris breaks the lawThe helpful man： The dangers that beset him…
…George sets forth upon a career of crimeThose to whom Germany
would come as a boon and a blessingThe English Sinner： His
disappointmentsThe German Sinner： His exceptional advantages
What you may not do with your bedAn inexpensive vice… …The German
dog： His simple goodnessThe misbehaviour of the beetleA people
that go the way they ought to goThe German small boy： His love of
legalityHow to go astray with a perambulator The German student：
His chastened wilfulness。
All three of us； by some means or another； managed； between
Nuremberg and the Black Forest； to get into trouble。
Harris led off at Stuttgart by insulting an official。 Stuttgart is a
charming town； clean and bright； a smaller Dresden。 It has the additional
attraction of containing little that one need to go out of one's way to see：
a medium…sized picture gallery； a small museum of antiquities； and half a
palace； and you are through with the entire thing and can enjoy yourself。
Harris did not know it was an official he was insulting。 He took it for a
fireman （it looked liked a fireman）； and he called it a 〃dummer Esel。〃
In German you are not permitted to call an official a 〃silly ass；〃 but
undoubtedly this particular man was one。 What had happened was this：
Harris in the Stadgarten； anxious to get out； and seeing a gate open before
him； had stepped over a wire into the street。 Harris maintains he never saw
it； but undoubtedly there was hanging to the wire a notice； 〃Durchgang
Verboten！〃 The man； who was standing near the gates stopped Harris；
and pointed out to him this notice。 Harris thanked him； and passed on。
The man came after him； and explained that treatment of the matter in
such off…hand way could not be allowed； what was necessary to put the
business right was that Harris should step back over the wire into the
garden。 Harris pointed out to the man that the notice said 〃going through
forbidden；〃 and that； therefore； by re…entering the garden that way he
would be infringing the law a second time。 The man saw this for himself；
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THREE MEN ON THE BUMMEL
and suggested that to get over the difficulty Harris should go back into the
garden by the proper entrance； which was round the corner； and afterwards
immediately come out again by the same gate。 Then it was that Harris
called the man a silly ass。 That delayed us a day； and cost Harris forty
marks。
I followed suit at Carlsruhe； by stealing a bicycle。 I did not mean to
steal the bicycle； I was merely trying to be useful。 The train was on the
point of starting when I noticed； as I thought； Harris's bicycle still in the
goods van。 No one was about to help me。 I jumped into the van and
hauled it out； only just in time。 Wheeling it down the platform in triumph；
I came across Harris's bicycle； standing against a wall behind some milk…
cans。 The bicycle I had secured was not Harris's； but some other man's。
It was an awkward situation。 In England； I should have gone to the
stationmaster and explained my mistake。 But in Germany they are not
content with your explaining a little matter of this sort to one man： they
take you round and get you to explain it to about half a dozen； and if any
one of the half dozen happens not to be handy； or not to have time just
then to listen to you； they have a habit of leaving you over for the night to
finish your explanation the next morning。 I thought I would just put the
thing out of sight； and then； without making any fuss or show； take a shor