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youth-第29章

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University uniform。 For instance; when the conversation turned

upon country houses; I said that Prince Ivan Ivanovitch had a

villa near Moscow which people came to see even from London and

Paris; and that it contained balustrading which had cost 380;000

roubles。 Likewise; I remarked that the Prince was a very near

relation of mine; and that; when lunching with him the same day;

he had invited me to go and spend the entire summer with him at

that villa; but that I had declined; since I knew the villa well;

and had stayed in it more than once; and that all those

balustradings and bridges did not interest me; since I could not

bear ornamental work; especially in the country; where I liked

everything to be wholly countrified。 After delivering myself of

this extraordinary and complicated romance; I grew confused; and

blushed so much that every one must have seen that I was lying。

Both Varenika; who was handing me a cup of tea; and Sophia

Ivanovna; who had been gazing at me throughout; turned their

heads away; and began to talk of something else with an

expression which I afterwards learnt that good…natured people

assume when a very young man has told them a manifest string of

liesan expression which says; 〃Yes; we know he is lying; and

why he is doing it; the poor young fellow!〃



What I had said about Prince Ivan Ivanovitch having a country

villa; I had related simply because I could find no other pretext

for mentioning both my relationship to the Prince and the fact

that I had been to luncheon with him that day; yet why I had said

all I had about the balustrading costing 380;000 roubles; and

about my having several times visited the Prince at that villa (I

had never once been theremore especially since the Prince

possessed no residences save in Moscow and Naples; as the

Nechludoffs very well knew); I could not possibly tell you。

Neither in childhood nor in adolescence nor in riper years did I

ever remark in myself the vice of falsehoodon the contrary; I

was; if anything; too outspoken and truthful。 Yet; during this

first stage of my manhood; I often found myself seized with a

strange and unreasonable tendency to lie in the most desperate

fashion。 I say advisedly 〃in the most desperate fashion;〃 for the

reason that I lied in matters in which it was the easiest thing

in the world to detect me。 On the whole I think that a vain…

glorious desire to appear different from what I was; combined

with an impossible hope that the lie would never be found out;

was the chief cause of this extraordinary impulse。



After tea; since the rain had stopped and the after…glow of

sunset was calm and clear; the Princess proposed that we should

go and stroll in the lower garden; and admire her favourite spots

there。 Following my rule to be always original; and conceiving

that clever people like myself and the Princess must surely be

above the banalities of politeness; I replied that I could not

bear a walk with no object in view; and that; if I DID walk; I

liked to walk alone。 I had no idea that this speech was simply

rude; all I thought was that; even as nothing could be more

futile than empty compliments; so nothing could be more pleasing

and original than a little frank brusquerie。 However; though much

pleased with my answer; I set out with the rest of the company。



The Princess's favourite spot of all was at the very bottom of

the lower garden; where a little bridge spanned a narrow piece of

swamp。 The view there was very restricted; yet very intimate and

pleasing。 We are so accustomed to confound art with nature that;

often enough; phenomena of nature which are never to be met with

in pictures seem to us unreal; and give us the impression that

nature is unnatural; or vice versa; whereas phenomena of nature

which occur with too much frequency in pictures seem to us

hackneyed; and views which are to be met with in real life; but

which appear to us too penetrated with a single idea or a single

sentiment; seem to us arabesques。 The view from the Princess's

favourite spot was as follows。 On the further side of a small

lake; over…grown with weeds round its edges; rose a steep ascent

covered with bushes and with huge old trees of many shades of

green; while; overhanging the lake at the foot of the ascent;

stood an ancient birch tree which; though partly supported by

stout roots implanted in the marshy bank of the lake; rested its

crown upon a tall; straight poplar; and dangled its curved

branches over the smooth surface of the pondboth branches and

the surrounding greenery being reflected therein as in a mirror。



〃How lovely!〃 said the Princess with a nod of her head; and

addressing no one in particular。



〃Yes; marvellous!〃 I replied in my desire to show that had an

opinion of my own on every subject。 〃Yet somehow it all looks to

me so terribly like a scheme of decoration。〃



The Princess went on gazing at the scene as though she had not

heard me; and turning to her sister and Lubov Sergievna at

intervals; in order to point out to them its detailsespecially

a curved; pendent bough; with its reflection in the water; which

particularly pleased her。 Sophia Ivanovna observed to me that it

was all very beautiful; and that she and her sister would

sometimes spend hours together at this spot; yet it was clear

that her remarks were meant merely to please the Princess。 I have

noticed that people who are gifted with the faculty of loving are

seldom receptive to the beauties of nature。 Lubov Sergievna also

seemed enraptured; and asked (among other things); 〃How does that

birch tree manage to support itself? Has it stood there long?〃

Yet the next moment she became absorbed in contemplation of her

little dog Susetka; which; with its stumpy paws pattering to and

fro upon the bridge in a mincing fashion; seemed to say by the

expression of its face that this was the first time it had ever

found itself out of doors。 As for Dimitri; he fell to discoursing

very logically to his mother on the subject of how no view can be

beautiful of which the horizon is limited。 Varenika alone said

nothing。 Glancing at her; I saw that she was leaning over the

parapet of the bridge; her profile turned towards me; and gazing

straight in front of her。 Something seemed to be interesting her

deeply; or even affecting her; since it was clear that she was

oblivious to her surroundings; and thinking neither of herself

nor of the fact that any one might be regarding her。 In the

expression of her large eyes there was nothing but wrapt

attention and quiet; concentrated thought; while her whole

attitude seemed so unconstrained and; for all her shortness; so

dignified that once more some recollection or another touched me

and once more I asked myself; 〃Is IT; then; beginning?〃 Yet again

I assured myself that I was already in love with Sonetchka; and

that Varenika was only an ordinary girl; the sister of my friend。

Though she pleased me at that moment; I somehow felt
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