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violently against a ceiling hurts one less than just to graze
some spot which has been hurt and bruised before： and in almost
every family there exists some such raw and tender spot。 In the
Nechludoff family that spot was Dimitri's extraordinary affection
for Lubov Sergievna； which aroused in the mother and sister； if
not a jealous feeling； at all events a sense of hurt family
pride。 This was the grave significance which underlay； for all
those present； the seeming dispute about Ivan Yakovlevitch and
superstition。
〃In anything that other people deride and despise you invariably
profess to see something extraordinarily good！〃 Varenika was
saying in her clear voice； as she articulated each syllable with
careful precision。
〃Indeed？〃 retorted Dimitri with an impatient toss of his head。
〃Now； in the first place； only a most unthinking person could
ever speak of DESPISING such a remarkable man as Ivan
Yakovlevitch； while； in the second place； it is YOU who
invariably profess to see nothing good in what confronts you。〃
Meanwhile Sophia Ivanovna kept looking anxiously at us as she
turned first to her nephew； and then to her niece； and then to
myself。 Twice she opened her mouth as though to say what was in
her mind and drew a deep sigh。
〃Varia； PLEASE go on reading；〃 she said at length； at the same
time handing her niece the book； and patting her hand kindly。 〃I
wish to know whether he ever found HER again 〃 （as a matter of
fact； the novel in question contained not a word about any one
finding any one else）。 〃And； Mitia dear；〃 she added to her
nephew； despite the glum looks which he was throwing at her for
having interrupted the logical thread of his deductions； 〃you had
better let me poultice your cheek； or your teeth will begin to
ache again。〃
After that the reading was resumed。 Yet the quarrel had in no way
dispelled the calm atmosphere of family and intellectual harmony
which enveloped this circle of ladies。
Clearly deriving its inspiration and character from the Princess
Maria Ivanovna； it was a circle which； for me； had a wholly novel
and attractive character of logicalness mingled with simplicity
and refinement。 That character I could discern in the daintiness；
good taste； and solidity of everything about me； whether the
handbell； the binding of the book； the settee； or the table。
Likewise； I divined it in the upright； well…corseted pose of the
Princess； in her pendant curls of grey hair； in the manner in
which she had； at our first introduction； called me plain
〃Nicolas〃 and 〃he；〃 in the occupations of the ladies （the
reading and the sewing of garments）； and in the unusual whiteness
of their hands。 Those hands； en passant； showed a family feature
common to allnamely； the feature that the flesh of the palm on
the outer side was rosy in colour； and divided by a sharp；
straight line from the pure whiteness of the upper portion of the
hand。 Still more was the character of this feminine circle
expressed in the manner in which the three ladies spoke Russian
and Frenchspoke them； that is to say； with perfect articulation
of syllables and pedantic accuracy of substantives and
prepositions。 All this； and more especially the fact that the
ladies treated me as simply and as seriously as a real grown…up
telling me their opinions； and listening to my own （a thing to
which I was so little accustomed that； for all my glittering
buttons and blue facings； I was in constant fear of being told：
〃Surely you do not think that we are talking SERIOUSLY to you？ Go
away and learn something〃）all this； I say； caused me to feel an
entire absence of restraint in this society。 I ventured at times
to rise； to move about； and to talk boldly to each of the ladies
except Varenika （whom I always felt it was unbecoming； or even
forbidden； for me to address unless she first spoke to me）。
As I listened to her clear； pleasant voice reading aloud； I kept
glancing from her to the path of the flower…garden； where the
rain…spots were making small dark circles in the sand； and thence
to the lime…trees； upon the leaves of which the rain was
pattering down in large detached drops shed from the pale；
shimmering edge of the livid blue cloud which hung suspended over
us。 Then I would glance at her again； and then at the last purple
rays of the setting sun where they were throwing the dense
clusters of old； rain…washed birches into brilliant relief。 Yet
again my eyes would return to Varenika； and； each time that they
did so； it struck me afresh that she was not nearly so plain as
at first I had thought her。
〃How I wish that I wasn't in love already！〃 I reflected； 〃or that
Sonetchka was Varenika！ How nice it would be if suddenly I could
become a member of this family； and have the three ladies for my
mother； aunt； and wife respectively！〃 All the time that these
thoughts kept passing through my head I kept attentively
regarding Varenika as she read； until somehow I felt as though I
were magnetising her； and that presently she must look at me。
Sure enough； at length she raised her head； threw me a glance；
and； meeting my eyes； turned away。
〃The rain does not seem to stop；〃 she remarked。
Suddenly a new feeling came over me。 I began to feel as though
everything now happening to me was a repetition of some similar
occurrence beforeas though on some previous occasion a shower
of rain had begun to fall； and the sun had set behind birch…
trees； and I had been looking at her； and she had been reading
aloud； and I had magnetised her； and she had looked up at me。
Yes； all this I seemed to recall as though it had happened once
before。
〃Surely she is notSHE？〃 was my thought。 〃Surely IT is not
beginning？〃 However； I soon decided that Varenika was not the
〃SHE〃 referred to； and that 〃it〃 was not 〃beginning。〃 〃In the
first place；〃 I said to myself； 〃Varenika is not at all
BEAUTIFUL。 She is just an ordinary girl whose acquaintance I have
made in the ordinary way； whereas the she whom I shall meet
somewhere and some day and in some not ordinary way will be
anything but ordinary。 This family pleases me so much only
because hitherto I have never seen anybody。 Such things will
always be happening in the future； and I shall see many more such
families during my life。〃
XXVI
I SHOW OFF
AT tea time the reading came to an end； and the ladies began to
talk among themselves of persons and things unknown to me。 This I
conceived them to be doing on purpose to make me conscious （for
all their kind demeanour） of the difference which years and
position in the world had set between them and myself。 In general
discussions； however； in which I could take part I sought to
atone for my late silence by exhibiting that extraordinary
cleverness and originality to which I felt compelled by my
University uniform。 For instance； when the conversation turned
upon country houses； I said that Prince Ivan Ivanovitch had a
villa