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And HOOPER holds his ground； In mildness daily growing … They
think him； all around； The mildest curate going。
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The Bab Ballads
Ballad： Only A Dancing Girl
Only a dancing girl； With an unromantic style； With borrowed colour
and curl； With fixed mechanical smile； With many a hackneyed wile； With
ungrammatical lips； And corns that mar her trips。
Hung from the 〃flies〃 in air； She acts a palpable lie； She's as little a
fairy there As unpoetical I！ I hear you asking； Why … Why in the world I
sing This tawdry； tinselled thing？
No airy fairy she； As she hangs in arsenic green From a highly
impossible tree In a highly impossible scene （Herself not over…clean）。 For
fays don't suffer； I'm told； From bunions； coughs； or cold。
And stately dames that bring Their daughters there to see； Pronounce
the 〃dancing thing〃 No better than she should be； With her skirt at her
shameful knee； And her painted； tainted phiz： Ah； matron； which of us is？
（And； in sooth； it oft occurs That while these matrons sigh； Their
dresses are lower than hers； And sometimes half as high； And their hair is
hair they buy； And they use their glasses； too； In a way she'd blush to do。）
But change her gold and green For a coarse merino gown； And see her
upon the scene Of her home； when coaxing down Her drunken father's
frown； In his squalid cheerless den： She's a fairy truly； then！
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The Bab Ballads
Ballad： General John
The bravest names for fire and flames And all that mortal durst； Were
GENERAL JOHN and PRIVATE JAMES； Of the Sixty…seventy…first。
GENERAL JOHN was a soldier tried； A chief of warlike dons； A
haughty stride and a withering pride Were MAJOR…GENERAL JOHN'S。
A sneer would play on his martial phiz； Superior birth to show； 〃Pish！〃
was a favourite word of his； And he often said 〃Ho！ ho！〃
FULL…PRIVATE JAMES described might be； As a man of a mournful
mind； No characteristic trait had he Of any distinctive kind。
From the ranks； one day； cried PRIVATE JAMES； 〃Oh！ MAJOR…
GENERAL JOHN； I've doubts of our respective names； My mournful
mind upon。
〃A glimmering thought occurs to me （Its source I can't unearth）； But
I've a kind of a notion we Were cruelly changed at birth。
〃I've a strange idea that each other's names We've each of us here got
on。 Such things have been；〃 said PRIVATE JAMES。 〃They have！〃 sneered
GENERAL JOHN。
〃My GENERAL JOHN； I swear upon My oath I think 'tis so … 〃
〃Pish！〃 proudly sneered his GENERAL JOHN； And he also said 〃Ho！ ho！〃
〃My GENERAL JOHN！ my GENERAL JOHN！ My GENERAL
JOHN！〃 quoth he； 〃This aristocratical sneer upon Your face I blush to see！
〃No truly great or generous cove Deserving of them names； Would
sneer at a fixed idea that's drove In the mind of a PRIVATE JAMES！〃
Said GENERAL JOHN； 〃Upon your claims No need your breath to
waste； If this is a joke； FULL…PRIVATE JAMES； It's a joke of doubtful
taste。
〃But； being a man of doubtless worth； If you feel certain quite That we
were probably changed at birth； I'll venture to say you're right。〃
So GENERAL JOHN as PRIVATE JAMES Fell in； parade upon； And
PRIVATE JAMES； by change of names； Was MAJOR…GENERAL JOHN。
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The Bab Ballads
Ballad： To A Little Maid … By A
Policeman
Come with me； little maid； Nay； shrink not； thus afraid … I'll harm thee
not！ Fly not； my love； from me … I have a home for thee … A fairy grot；
Where mortal eye Can rarely pry； There shall thy dwelling be！
List to me； while I tell The pleasures of that cell； Oh； little maid！ What
though its couch be rude； Homely the only food Within its shade？ No
thought of care Can enter there； No vulgar swain intrude！
Come with me； little maid； Come to the rocky shade I love to sing；
Live with us； maiden rare … Come； for we 〃want〃 thee there； Thou elfin
thing； To work thy spell； In some cool cell In stately Pentonville！
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The Bab Ballads
Ballad： John And Freddy
JOHN courted lovely MARY ANN； So likewise did his brother；
FREDDY。 FRED was a very soft young man； While JOHN； though quick；
was most unsteady。
FRED was a graceful kind of youth； But JOHN was very much the
strongest。 〃Oh； dance away；〃 said she； 〃in truth； I'll marry him who dances
longest。〃
JOHN tries the maiden's taste to strike With gay； grotesque； outrageous
dresses； And dances comically； like CLODOCHE AND Co。； at the
Princess's。
But FREDDY tries another style； He knows some graceful steps and
does 'em … A breathing Poem … Woman's smile … A man all poesy and
buzzem。
Now FREDDY'S operatic PAS … Now JOHNNY'S hornpipe seems
entrapping： Now FREDDY'S graceful ENTRECHATS … Now JOHNNY'S
skilful 〃cellar…flapping。〃
For many hours … for many days … For many weeks performed each
brother； For each was active in his ways； And neither would give in to
t'other。
After a month of this； they say （The maid was getting bored and
moody） A wandering curate passed that way And talked a lot of goody…
goody。
〃Oh my；〃 said he； with solemn frown； 〃I tremble for each dancing
FRATER； Like unregenerated clown And harlequin at some the…ayter。〃
He showed that men； in dancing； do Both impiously and absurdly； And
proved his proposition true； With Firstly； Secondly； and Thirdly。
For months both JOHN and FREDDY danced； The curate's protests
little heeding； For months the curate's words enhanced The sinfulness of
their proceeding。
At length they bowed to Nature's rule … Their steps grew feeble and
unsteady； Till FREDDY fainted on a stool； And JOHNNY on the top of
FREDDY。
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The Bab Ballads
〃Decide！〃 quoth they； 〃let him be named； Wh