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good deal and sometimes he'd say：
〃I'll tear it out。〃
One day he tried to call up Mrs。 Dr。 Tafft。 He could not hear
plainly and thought he was talking to central。 〃Send down and take
this d… thing out of here；〃 he said； 〃I'm tired of it。〃 He was
mad； and using a good deal of bad language。 All at once he heard
Mrs。 Dr。 Tafft say； 〃Oh； Mr。 Clemens； good morning。〃 He said； 〃Why；
Mrs。 Tafft； I have just come to the telephone。 George； our butler；
was here before me and I heard him swearing as I came up。 I shall
have to talk to him about it。〃
Mrs。 Tafft often told it on him。 ＇ Mark Twain once wrote to the
telephone management： 〃The time is coming very soon when the
telephone will be a perfect instrument； when proximity will no
longer be a hindrance to its performance； when； in fact； one will
hear a man who is in the next block just as easily and comfortably
as he would if that man were in San Francisco。〃＇
Mrs。 Clemens； before I went there； took care of his desk； but little
by little I began to look after it when she was busy at other
things。 Finally I took care of it altogether； but he didn't know it
for a long time。 One morning he caught me at it。 〃What are you
doing here？〃 he asked。
〃Dusting； Mr。 Clemens；〃 I said。
〃You have no business here；〃 he said； very mad。
〃I've been doing it for a year； Mr。 Clemens；〃 I said。 〃Mrs。 Clemens
told me to do it。〃
After that； when he missed anythingand he missed things oftenhe
would ring for me。 〃Katie；〃 he would say； 〃you have lost that
manuscript。〃
〃Oh； Mr。 Clemens；〃； I would say； 〃I am sure I didn't touch it。〃
〃Yes； you did touch it； Katie。 You put it in the fire。 It is
gone。〃
He would scold then； and fume a great deal。 Then he would go over
and mark out with his toe on the carpet a line which I was never to
cross。 〃Katie；〃 he would say； 〃you are never to go nearer to my
desk than that line。 That is the dead…line。〃 Often after he had
scolded me in the morning he would come in in the evening where I
was dressing Mrs。 Clemens to go out and say； 〃Katie； I found that
manuscript。〃 And I would say； 〃Mr。 Clemens； I felt so bad this
morning that I wanted to go away。〃
He had a pipe…cleaner which he kept on a high shelf。 It was an
awful old dirty one； and I didn't know that he ever used it。 I took
it to the balcony which was built out into the woods and threw it
away as far as I could throw it。 Next day he asked； 〃Katie； did you
see my pipe…cleaner？ You did see it； I can tell by your looks。〃
I said； 〃Yes； Mr。 Clemens； I threw it away。〃
〃Well；〃 he said； 〃it was worth a thousand dollars；〃 and it seemed so
to me； too； before he got done scolding about it。
It is hard not to dwell too long on the home life of this period。 One
would like to make a long chapter out of those play…acting evenings
alone。 They remained always fresh in Mark Twain's memory。 Once he wrote
of them：
We dined as we could； probably with a neighbor； and by quarter to
eight in the evening the hickory fire in the hall was pouring a
sheet of flame up the chimney； the house was in a drench of gas…
light from the ground floor up； the guests were arriving； and there
was a babble of hearty greetings； with not a voice in it that was
not old and familiar and affectionate； and when the curtain went up
we looked out from the stage upon none but faces that were dear to
us； none but faces that were lit up with welcome for us。
CLXI
HISTORY： MAINLY BY SUSY
Suzy； in her biography； which she continued through this period； writes：
Mama and I have both been very much troubled of late because papa；
since he had been publishing General Grant's books； has seemed to
forget his own books and works entirely； and the other evening； as
papa and I were promonading up and down the library； he told me that
he didn't expect to write but one more book； and then he was ready
to give up work altogether； die； or； do anything； he said that he
had written more than he had ever expected to； and the only book
that he had been pertickularly anxious to write was one locked up in
the safe downstairs； not yet published。
The book locked in the safe was Captain Stormfield； and the one he
expected to write was A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court。 He
had already worked at it in a desultory way during the early months of
1886； and once wrote of it to Webster：
I have begun a book whose scene is laid far back in the twilight of
tradition； I have saturated myself with the atmosphere of the day
and the subject and got myself into the swing of the work。 If I peg
away for some weeks without a break I am safe。
But he could not peg away。 He had too many irons in the fire for that。
Matthew Arnold had criticized General Grant's English； and Clemens
immediately put down other things to rush to his hero's defense。 He
pointed out that in Arnold's criticism there were no less than 〃two
grammatical crimes and more than several examples of very crude and
slovenly English；〃 and said：
There is that about the sun which makes us forget his spots； and
when we think of General Grant our pulses quicken and his grammar
vanishes； we only remember that this is the simple soldier； who； all
untaught of the silken phrase…makers； linked words together with an
art surpassing the art of the schools； and put into them a something
which will still bring to American ears； as long as America shall
last； the roll of his vanished drums and the tread of his marching
hosts。 ＇Address to Army and Navy Club。 For full text see
Appendix＇
Clemens worked at the Yankee now and then； and Howells； when some of the
chapters were read to him； gave it warm approval and urged its
continuance。
Howells was often in Hartford at this time。 Webster & Co。 were planning
to publish The Library of Humor； which Howells and 〃Charley〃 Clark had
edited several years before； and occasional conferences were desirable。
Howells tells us that； after he and Clark had been at great trouble to
get the matter logically and chronologically arranged； Clemens pulled it
all to pieces and threw it together helter…skelter； declaring that there
ought to be no sequence in a book of that sort； any more than in the
average reader's mind； and Howells admits that this was probably the
truer method in a book made for the diversion rather than the instruction
of the reader。
One of the literary diversions of this time was a commentary on a
delicious little book by Caroline B。 Le RowEnglish as She Is Taught
being a compilation of genuine answers given to examination questions by
pupils in our public schools。 Mark Twain was amused by such definitions
as： 〃Aborigines； system of mountains〃； 〃Aliasa good man in the Bible〃；
〃Ammoniathe food of the gods；〃 and so on down the alphabet。
Susy； in her