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Mark Twain； whose books he always kept on a table beside him； and
whatever had been his tormenting problem； or excess of toil； he felt
secure of a good night's rest from it。 A sort of blank ensued which
Clemens filled in the only possible way。 He said he should always be
glad he had contributed to the repose of that great man； to whom science
owed so much； and then without waiting for the joy in every breast to
burst forth； he began to read。
Howells tells of Mark Twain's triumph on this occasion； and in a letter
at the time he wrote： 〃You simply straddled down to the footlights and
took that house up in the hollow of your hand and tickled it。〃
Howells adds that the show netted seventeen hundred dollars。 This was
early in May。
Of literary work； beyond the war paper； the 〃Private History of a
Campaign that Failed〃 （published December； 1885）； Clemens appears to have
done very little。 His thoughts were far too busy with plans for
furthering the sale of the great military Memoir to follow literary
ventures of his own。 At one time he was impelled to dictate an
autobiographyGrant's difficulties in his dying hour suggesting this
and he arranged with Redpath； who was no longer a lecture agent and
understood stenography； to co…operate with him in the work。 He dictated
a few chapters； but he was otherwise too much occupied to continue。
Also； he was unused to dictation； and found it hard and the result
unsatisfactory。
Two open communications from Mark Twain that year deserve to be
remembered。 One of these； unsigned； was published in the Century
Magazine； and expressed the need for a 〃universal tinker；〃 the man who
can accept a job in a large household or in a community as master of all
trades； with sufficient knowledge of each to be ready to undertake
whatever repairs are likely to be required in the ordinary household；
such as〃to put in windowpanes； mend gas leaks； jack…plane the edges of
doors that won't shut； keep the waste…pipe and other water…pipe joints；
glue and otherwise repair havoc done in furniture； etc。〃 The letter was
signed X。 Y。 Z。； and it brought replies from various parts of the world。
None of the applicants seemed universally qualified； but in Kansas City a
business was founded on the idea； adopting 〃The Universal Tinker〃 as its
firm name。
The other letter mentioned was written to the 'Christian Union'； inspired
by a tale entitled； 〃What Ought We to Have Done？〃 It was a tale
concerning the government of children； especially concerning the
government of one childJohn Juniora child who； as it would appear
from the tale； had a habit of running things pretty much to his own
notion。 The performance of John junior； and of his parents in trying to
manage him； stirred Mark Twain considerablyit being 〃enough to make a
body's blood boil；〃 as he confessesand it impelled him to set down
surreptitiously his impressions of what would have happened to John
Junior as a member of the Clemens household。 He did not dare to show the
communication to Mrs。 Clemens before he sent it； for he knew pretty well
what its fate would be in that case。 So he took chances and printed it
without her knowledge。 The letter was published July 16； 1885。 It is
too long to be included entire； but it is too illuminating to be
altogether omitted。 After relating； in considerable detail； Mrs。
Clemens's method of dealing with an unruly childthe gentleness yet
firmness of her disciplinehe concludes：
The mother of my children adores themthere is no milder term for
itand they worship her； they even worship anything which the touch
of her hand has made sacred。 They know her for the best and truest
friend they have ever had； or ever shall have； they know her for one
who never did them a wrong； and cannot do them a wrong； who never
told them a lie； nor the shadow of one； who never deceived them by
even an ambiguous gesture； who never gave them an unreasonable
command； nor ever contented herself with anything short of a perfect
obedience； who has always treated them as politely and considerately
as she would the best and oldest in the land； and has always
required of them gentle speech and courteous conduct toward all； of
whatsoever degree with whom they chanced to come in contact； they
know her for one whose promise； whether of reward or punishment； is
gold； and always worth its face； to the uttermost farthing。 In a
word； they know her； and I know her； for the best and dearest mother
that livesand by a long； long way the wisest。。。。
In all my life I have never made a single reference to my wife in
print before； as far as I can remember； except once in the
dedication of a book； and so； after these fifteen years of silence；
perhaps I may unseal my lips this one time without impropriety or
indelicacy。 I will institute one other novelty： I will send this
manuscript to the press without her knowledge and without asking her
to edit it。 This will save it from getting edited into the stove。
Susy's biography refers to this incident at considerable length。 She
states that her father had misgivings after he had sent it to the
Christian Union； and that he tried to recall the manuscript； but found it
too late。 She sets down some comments of her own on her mother's
government； then tells us of the appearance of the article：
When the Christian Union reached the farm and papa's article in it； all
ready and waiting to be read to mama； papa hadn't the courage to show it
to her （for he knew she wouldn't like it at all） at first； and he didn't；
but he might have let it go and never let her see it； but finally he gave
his consent to her seeing it； and told Clara and I we could take it to
her； which we did with tardiness； and we all stood around mama while she
read it； all wondering what she would say and think about it。
She was too much surprised （and pleased privately too） to say much at
first； but； as we all expected； publicly （or rather when she remembered
that this article was to be read by every one that took the Christian
Union） she was rather shocked and a little displeased。
Susy goes on to tell that the article provoked a number of letters； most
of them pleasant ones； but some of them of quite another sort。 One of
the latter fell into her mother's hands； after which there was general
regret that the article had been printed； and the subject was no longer
discussed at Quarry Farm。
Susy's biography is a unique record。 It was a sort of combined memoir
and journal； charming in its innocent frankness and childish insight。
She used to keep it under her pillow； and after she was asleep the
parents would steal it out and find a tender amusement and pathos in its
quaint entries。 It is a faithful record so far as it goes； and the
period it covers is an important one； for it presents a picture of Mark
Twain in the fullness of his manhood； in the golden hour of his fortune。
Susy's beginning has a special value here：＇Susy's' spelling and
punctuation are preserved。＇
We are a very happy family！ We consist of papa； mama； Jean； C