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generals； or poets； or statesmen； but when the toast works down to the
babieswe stand on common ground〃
The tired audience had listened in respectful silence through the first
half of the sentence。 He made one of his effective pauses on the word
〃babies；〃 and when he added； in that slow； rich measure of his； 〃we stand
on common ground；〃 they let go a storm of applause。 There was no
weariness and inattention after that。 At the end of each sentence； he
had to stop to let the tornado roar itself out and sweep by。 When he
reached the beginning of the final paragraph； 〃Among the three or four
million cradles now rocking in the land are some which this nation would
preserve for ages as sacred things if we could know which ones they are；〃
the vast audience waited breathless for his conclusion。 Step by step he
led toward some unseen climaxsome surprise； of course； for that would
be his way。 Then steadily； and almost without emphasis； he delivered the
opening of his final sentence：
〃And now in his cradle； somewhere under the flag； the future illustrious
commander…in…chief of the American armies is so little burdened with his
approaching grandeurs and responsibilities as to be giving his whole
strategic mind； at this moment； to trying to find out some way to get his
own big toe into his mouth； an achievement which （meaning no disrespect）
the illustrious guest of this evening also turned his attention to some
fifty…six years ago。〃
He paused； and the vast crowd had a chill of fear。 After all； he seemed
likely to overdo it to spoil everything with a cheap joke at the end。
No one ever knew better than Mark Twain the value of a pause。 He waited
now long enough to let the silence become absolute； until the tension was
painful； then wheeling to Grant himself he said； with all the dramatic
power of which he was master：
〃And if the child is but the father of the man； there are mighty few who
will doubt that he succeeded！〃
The house came down with a crash。 The linking of their hero's great
military triumphs with that earliest of all conquests seemed to them so
grand a figure that they went mad with the joy of it。 Even Grant's iron
serenity broke； he rocked and laughed while the tears streamed down his
cheeks。
They swept around the speaker with their congratulations； in their
efforts to seize his hand。 He was borne up and down the great dining…
hall。 Grant himself pressed up to make acknowledgments。
〃It tore me all to pieces；〃 he said； and Sherman exclaimed； 〃Lord bless
you； my boy！ I don't know how you do it！〃
The little speech has been in 〃cold type〃 so many years since then that
the reader of it to…day may find it hard to understand the flame of
response it kindled so long ago。 But that was another dayand another
nationand Mark Twain； like Robert Ingersoll； knew always his period and
his people。
CXXIV
ANOTHER 〃ATLANTIC〃 SPEECH
The December good…fortune was an opportunity Clemens had to redeem
himself with the Atlantic contingent； at a breakfast given to Dr。 Holmes。
Howells had written concerning it as early as October； and the first
impulse had been to decline。 It would be something of an ordeal； for
though two years had passed since the fatal Whittier dinner； Clemens had
not been in that company since； and the lapse of time did not signify。
Both Howells and Warner urged him to accept； and he agreed to do so on
condition that he be allowed to speak。
If anybody talks there I shall claim the right to say a word myself； and
be heard among the very earliest； else it would be confoundedly awkward
for meand for the rest； too。 But you may read what I say beforehand；
and strike out whatever you choose。
Howells advised against any sort of explanation。 Clemens accepted this
as wise counsel； and prepared an address relevant only to the guest of
honor。
It was a noble gathering。 Most of the guests of the Whittier dinner were
present； and this time there were ladies。 Emerson； Longfellow； and
Whittier were there； Harriet Beecher Stowe and Julia Ward Howe； also the
knightly Colonel Waring； and Stedman； and Parkman； and grand old John
Bigelow； old even then。 ＇He died in 1911 in his 94th year。＇
Howells was conservative in his introduction this time。 It was better
taste to be so。 He said simply：
〃We will now listen to a few words of truth and soberness from Mark
Twain。〃
Clemens is said to have risen diffidently； but that was his natural
manner。 It probably did not indicate anything of the inner tumult he
really felt。
Outwardly he was calm enough； and what he said was delicate and
beautiful； the kind of thing that he could say so well。 It seems fitting
that it should be included here； the more so that it tells a story not
elsewhere recorded。 This is the speech in full：
MR。 CHAIRMAN； LADIES； AND GENTLEMEN；I would have traveled a much
greater distance than I have come to witness the paying of honors to
Dr。 Holmes； for my feeling toward him has always been one of
peculiar warmth。 When one receives a letter from a great man for
the first time in his life it is a large event to him； as all of you
know by your own experience。 You never can receive letters enough
from famous men afterward to obliterate that one or dim the memory
of the pleasant surprise it was and the gratification it gave you。
Lapse of time cannot make it commonplace or cheap。 Well； the first
great man who ever wrote me a letter was our guest； Oliver Wendell
Holmes。 He was also the first great literary man I ever stole
anything from； and that is how I came to write to him and he to me。
When my first book was new a friend of mine said； 〃The dedication is
very neat。〃 Yes； I said； I thought it was。 My friend said；
〃I always admired it； even before I saw it in The Innocents Abroad。〃
I naturally said； 〃What do you mean？ Where did you ever see it
before？〃 〃Well； I saw it first； some years ago； as Dr。 Holmes's
dedication to his Songs in Many Keys。〃 Of course my first impulse
was to prepare this man's remains for burial； but upon reflection I
said I would reprieve him for a moment or two； and give him a chance
to prove his assertion if he could。 We stepped into a book…store。
and he did prove it。 I had stolen that dedication almost word for
word。 I could not imagine how this curious thing happened； for I
knew one thing； for a dead certaintythat a certain amount of pride
always goes along with a teaspoonful of brains； and that this pride
protects a man from deliberately stealing other people's ideas。
That is what a teaspoonful of brains will do for a man； and admirers
had often told me I had nearly a basketful； though they were rather
reserved as to the size of the basket。 However； I thought the thing
out and solved the mystery。 Some years before I had been laid up a
couple of weeks in the Sandwich Islands； and had read and reread Dr。
Holmes's poems till my mental reservoir was filled with them to the
brim。 The dedication lay on top and handy； so by and by I