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houses about town： That the present grooms of the bed…chamber （then
maids of honour） would not eat chalk and lime in their green…sickness：
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And in general； that the men would remember they are become
retromingent； and not by inadvertency lift up against walls and posts。
Petticoats will not be burdensome to the clergy； but balls and
assemblies will be indecent for some time。
As for you； coquettes； bawds； and chamber…maids； （the future
ministers； plenipotentiaries； and cabinet…counsellors to the princes of the
earth；） manage the great intrigues that will be committed to your charge；
with your usual secrecy and conduct； and the affairs of your masters will
go better than ever。
O ye exchange women！ （our right worshipful representatives that are
to be） be not so griping in the sale of your ware as your predecessors； but
consider that the nation； like a spend…thrift heir； has run out： Be likewise a
little more continent in your tongues than you are at present； else the
length of debates will spoil your dinners。
You housewifely good women； who not preside over the confectionary；
（henceforth commissioners of the Treasury） be so good as to dispense the
sugar…plumbs of the Government with a more impartial and frugal hand。
Ye prudes and censorious old maids； （the hopes of the Bench） exert but
your usual talent of finding faults； and the laws will be strictly executed；
only I would not have you proceed upon such slender evidences as you
have done hitherto。
It is from you； eloquent oyster…merchants of Billingsgate； （just ready to
be called to the Bar； and quoif'd like your sister…serjants；） that we expect
the shortening the time； and lessening the expences of law…suits： For I
think you are observ'd to bring your debates to a short issue； and even
custom will restrain you from taking the oyster； and leaving only the shell
to your client。
O ye physicians； （who in the figure of old women are to clean the tripe
in the markets） scour it as effectually as you have done that of your
patients； and the town will fare most deliciously on Saturdays。
I cannot but congratulate human nature； upon this happy
transformation； the only expedient left to restore the liberties and
tranquillity of mankind。 This is so evident； that it is almost an affront to
common sense to insist upon the proof： If there can be any such stupid
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creature as to doubt it； I desire he will make but the following obvious
reflection。 There are in Europe alone； at present； about a million of sturdy
fellows； under the denomination of standing forces； with arms in their
hands： That those are masters of the lives； liberties and fortunes of all the
rest； I believe no body will deny。 It is no less true in fact； that reams of
paper； and above a square mile of skins of vellum have been employ'd to
no purpose； to settle peace among those sons of violence。 Pray； who is he
that will say unto them； Go and disband yourselves？ But lo！ by this
transformation it is done at once； and the halcyon days of publick
tranquillity return： For neither the military temper nor discipline can taint
the soft sex for a whole age to come： Bellaque matribus invisa； War odious
to mothers； will not grow immediately palatable in their paternal state。
Nor will the influence of this transformation be less in family
tranquillity； than it is in national。 Great faults will be amended； and
frailties forgiven； on both sides。 A wife who has been disturb'd with late
hours； and choak'd with the hautgout of a sot； will remember her
sufferings； and avoid the temptations； and will； for the same reason；
indulge her mate in his female capacity in some passions； which she is
sensible from experience are natural to the sex。 Such as vanity of fine
cloaths； being admir'd； etc。 And how tenderly must she use her mate under
the breeding qualms and labour…pains which she hath felt her self？ In short；
all unreasonable demands upon husbands must cease； because they are
already satisfy'd from natural experience that they are impossible。
That the ladies may govern the affairs of the world； and the gentlemen
those of their houshold； better than either of them have hitherto done； is
the hearty desire of； Their most sincere well…wisher； M。S。
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