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w his mistake： for Grimes always looked a man in the face； and this fellow never did。 And when he spoke； it was fire and smoke； and when he sneezed； it was squibs and crackers； and when he cried （which he did whenever it paid him）； it was boiling pitch； and some of it was sure to stick。
〃Here we are again！〃 cried he； like the clown in a pantomime。 〃So you can't feel frightened； my little dear … eh？ I'll do that for you。 I'll make an impression on you！ Yah！ Boo！ Whirroo！ Hullabaloo！〃
And he rattled； thumped； brandished his thunder…box； yelled； shouted； raved； roared； stamped； and danced corrobory like any black fellow； and then he touched a spring in the thunderbox； and out popped turnip…ghosts and magic…lanthorns and pasteboard bogies and spring…heeled Jacks； and sallaballas； with such a horrid din； clatter； clank； roll； rattle； and roar； that the little boy turned up the whites of his eyes； and fainted right away。
And at that his poor heathen papa and mamma were as much delighted as if they had found a gold mine； and fell down upon their knees before the Powwow man； and gave him a palanquin with a pole of solid silver and curtains of cloth of gold； and carried him about in it on their own backs： but as soon as they had taken him up； the pole stuck to their shoulders； and they could not set him down any more； but carried him on willynilly； as Sinbad carried the old man of the sea： which was a pitiable sight to see； for the father was a very brave officer； and wore two swords and a blue button； and the mother was as pretty a lady as ever had pinched feet like a Chinese。 But you see； they had chosen to do a foolish thing just once too often； so； by the laws of Mrs。 Bedonebyasyoudid； they had to go on doing it whether they chose or not； till the coming of the Cocqcigrues。
Ah！ don't you wish that some one would go and convert those poor heathens； and teach them not to frighten their little children into fits？
〃Now； then；〃 said the Powwow man to Tom； 〃wouldn't you like to be frightened； my little dear？ For I can see plainly that you are a very wicked； naughty； graceless； reprobate boy。〃
〃You're another；〃 quoth Tom； very sturdily。 And when the man ran at him； and cried 〃Boo！〃 Tom ran at him in return； and cried 〃Boo！〃 likewise； right in his face； and set the little dog upon him； and at his legs the dog went。
At which； if you will believe it； the fellow turned tail； thunderbox and all； with a 〃Woof！〃 like an old sow on the common； and ran for his life； screaming； 〃Help！ thieves！ murder！ fire！ He is going to kill me！ I am a ruined man！ He will murder me； and break； burn； and destroy my precious and invaluable thunderbox； and then you will have no more thunder…showers in the land。 Help！ help！ help！〃
At which the papa and mamma and all the people of Oldwivesfabledom flew at Tom； shouting； 〃Oh； the wicked； impudent； hard…hearted； graceless boy！ Beat him； kick him； shoot him； drown him； hang him； burn him！〃 and so forth： but luckily they had nothing to shoot； hang； or burn him with； for the fairies had hid all the killing… tackle out of the way a little while before； so they could only pelt him with stones； and some of the stones went clean through him； and came out the other side。 But he did not mind that a bit； for the holes closed up again as fast as they were made； because he was a water…baby。 However； he was very glad when he was safe out of the country； for the noise there made him all but deaf。
Then he came to a very quiet place； called Leaveheavenalone。 And there the sun was drawing water out of the sea to make steam… threads； and the wind was twisting them up to make cloud…patterns； till they had worked between them the loveliest wedding veil of Chantilly lace； and hung it up in their own Crystal Palace for any one to buy who could afford it； while the good old sea never grudged； for she knew they would pay her back honestly。 So the sun span； and the wind wove； and all went well with the great steam… loom； as is likely； considering … and considering … and considering …
And at last； after innumerable adventures； each more wonderful than the last； he saw before him a huge building； much bigger； and … what is most surprising … a little uglier than a certain new lunatic asylum； but not built quite of the same materials。 None of it； at least … or； indeed； for aught that I ever saw； any part of any other building whatsoever … is cased with nine…inch brick inside and out； and filled up with rubble between the walls； in order that any gentleman who has been confined during Her Majesty's pleasure may be unconfined during his own pleasure； and take a walk in the neighbouring park to improve his spirits； after an hour's light and wholesome labour with his dinner…fork or one of the legs of his iron bedstead。 No。 The walls of this building were built on an entirely different principle； which need not be described； as it has not yet been discovered。
Tom walked towards this great building； wondering what it was； and having a strange fancy that he might find Mr。 Grimes inside it； till he saw running toward him； and shouting 〃Stop！〃 three or four people； who； when they came nearer； were nothing else than policemen's truncheons； running along without legs or arms。
Tom was not astonished。 He was long past that。 Besides； he had seen the naviculae in the water move nobody knows how； a hundred times； without arms； or legs； or anything to stand in their stead。 Neither was he frightened for he had been doing no harm。
So he stopped； and； when the foremost truncheon came up and asked his business； he showed Mother Carey's pass； and the truncheon looked at it in the oddest fashion； for he had one eye in the middle of his upper end； so that when he looked at anything； being quite stiff； he had to slope himself； and poke himself； till it was a wonder why he did not tumble over； but； being quite full of the spirit of justice （as all policemen； and their truncheons； ought to be）； he was always in a position of stable equilibrium； whichever way he put himself。
〃All right … pass on；〃 said he at last。 And then he added： 〃I had better go with you； young man。〃 And Tom had no objection； for such company was both respectable and safe； so the truncheon coiled its thong neatly round its handle； to prevent tripping itself up … for the thong had got loose in running … and marched on by Tom's side。
〃Why have you no policeman to carry you？〃 asked Tom； after a while。
〃Because we are not like those clumsy…made truncheons in the land… world； which cannot go without having a whole man to carry them about。 We do our own work for ourselves； and do it very well； though I say it who should not。〃
〃Then why have you a thong to your handle？〃 asked Tom。
〃To hang ourselves up by； of course； when we are off duty。〃
Tom had got his answer； and had no more to say； till they came up to the great iron door of the prison。 And there the truncheon knocked twice； with its own head。
A wicket in the door opened； and out looked a tremendous old brass blunderbuss charged up to the muzzle with slugs； who was the porter； and Tom started back a little at the sight of him。
〃What case is this？〃 he asked in a deep