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settlement for life to the poor babes； provided in some sort by
the publick； to their annual profit instead of expence。 We should
soon see an honest emulation among the married women； which of
them could bring the fattest child to the market。 Men would
become as fond of their wives； during the time of their
pregnancy； as they are now of their mares in foal； their cows in
calf； or sow when they are ready to farrow； nor offer to beat or
kick them （as is too frequent a practice） for fear of a
miscarriage。
Many other advantages might be enumerated。 For instance； the
addition of some thousand carcasses in our exportation of
barrel'd beef： the propagation of swine's flesh； and improvement
in the art of making good bacon； so much wanted among us by the
great destruction of pigs； too frequent at our tables； which are
no way comparable in taste or magnificence to a well grown； fat
yearly child； which roasted whole will make a considerable figure
at a Lord Mayor's feast； or any other publick entertainment。 But
this； and many others； I omit； being studious of brevity。
Supposing that one thousand families in this city； would be
constant customers for infants flesh； besides others who might
have it at merry meetings； particularly at weddings and
christenings； I compute that Dublin would take off annually about
twenty thousand carcasses； and the rest of the kingdom （where
probably they will be sold somewhat cheaper） the remaining eighty
thousand。
I can think of no one objection； that will possibly be raised
against this proposal； unless it should be urged； that the number
of people will be thereby much lessened in the kingdom。 This I
freely own； and 'twas indeed one principal design in offering it
to the world。 I desire the reader will observe； that I calculate
my remedy for this one individual Kingdom of Ireland； and for no
other that ever was； is； or； I think； ever can be upon Earth。
Therefore let no man talk to me of other expedients： Of taxing
our absentees at five shillings a pound： Of using neither
cloaths； nor houshold furniture； except what is of our own growth
and manufacture： Of utterly rejecting the materials and
instruments that promote foreign luxury： Of curing the
expensiveness of pride； vanity； idleness； and gaming in our
women： Of introducing a vein of parsimony； prudence and
temperance： Of learning to love our country； wherein we differ
even from Laplanders； and the inhabitants of Topinamboo： Of
quitting our animosities and factions； nor acting any longer like
the Jews； who were murdering one another at the very moment their
city was taken： Of being a little cautious not to sell our
country and consciences for nothing： Of teaching landlords to
have at least one degree of mercy towards their tenants。 Lastly；
of putting a spirit of honesty； industry； and skill into our
shop…keepers； who； if a resolution could now be taken to buy only
our native goods； would immediately unite to cheat and exact upon
us in the price； the measure； and the goodness； nor could ever
yet be brought to make one fair proposal of just dealing； though
often and earnestly invited to it。
Therefore I repeat； let no man talk to me of these and the like
expedients； 'till he hath at least some glympse of hope； that
there will ever be some hearty and sincere attempt to put them
into practice。
But； as to my self； having been wearied out for many years with
offering vain； idle； visionary thoughts； and at length utterly
despairing of success； I fortunately fell upon this proposal；
which； as it is wholly new； so it hath something solid and real；
of no expence and little trouble； full in our own power； and
whereby we can incur no danger in disobliging England。 For this
kind of commodity will not bear exportation； and flesh being of
too tender a consistence； to admit a long continuance in salt；
although perhaps I could name a country； which would be glad to
eat up our whole nation without it。
After all； I am not so violently bent upon my own opinion； as to
reject any offer； proposed by wise men； which shall be found
equally innocent； cheap； easy； and effectual。 But before
something of that kind shall be advanced in contradiction to my
scheme； and offering a better； I desire the author or authors
will be pleased maturely to consider two points。 First； As things
now stand； how they will be able to find food and raiment for a
hundred thousand useless mouths and backs。 And secondly； There
being a round million of creatures in humane figure throughout
this kingdom； whose whole subsistence put into a common stock；
would leave them in debt two million of pounds sterling； adding
those who are beggars by profession； to the bulk of farmers；
cottagers and labourers； with their wives and children； who are
beggars in effect； I desire those politicians who dislike my
overture； and may perhaps be so bold to attempt an answer； that
they will first ask the parents of these mortals； whether they
would not at this day think it a great happiness to have been
sold for food at a year old； in the manner I prescribe； and
thereby have avoided such a perpetual scene of misfortunes； as
they have since gone through； by the oppression of landlords； the
impossibility of paying rent without money or trade； the want of
common sustenance； with neither house nor cloaths to cover them
from the inclemencies of the weather； and the most inevitable
prospect of intailing the like； or greater miseries； upon their
breed for ever。
I profess； in the sincerity of my heart； that I have not the
least personal interest in endeavouring to promote this necessary
work； having no other motive than the publick good of my country；
by advancing our trade； providing for infants； relieving the
poor； and giving some pleasure to the rich。 I have no children；
by which I can propose to get a single penny； the youngest being
nine years old； and my wife past child…bearing。
End