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of homage…payers。 In the navy； there are many groups； they start
with the Secretary and the Admiral； and go down to the quartermaster
and below； for there will be groups among the sailors； and each of
these groups will have a tar who is distinguished for his battles；
or his strength； or his daring； or his profanity； and is admired
and envied by his group。 The same with the army； the same
with the literary and journalistic craft； the publishing craft；
the cod…fishery craft； Standard Oil； U。 S。 Steel； the class A hotel
and the rest of the alphabet in that line； the class A prize…fighter
and the rest of the alphabet in his lineclear down to the lowest
and obscurest six…boy gang of little gamins； with its one boy
that can thrash the rest； and to whom he is king of Samoa；
bottom of the royal race； but looked up to with a most ardent
admiration and envy。
There is something pathetic； and funny； and pretty； about this
human race's fondness for contact with power and distinction；
and for the reflected glory it gets out of it。 The king； class A；
is happy in the state banquet and the military show which the
emperor provides for him； and he goes home and gathers the queen
and the princelings around him in the privacy of the spare room；
and tells them all about it； and says：
〃His Imperial Majesty put his hand upon my shoulder in the most
friendly wayjust as friendly and familiar； oh； you can't imagine it！
and everybody SEEING him do it； charming； perfectly charming！〃
The king； class G； is happy in the cold collation and the police
parade provided for him by the king； class B； and goes home
and tells the family all about it； and says：
〃And His Majesty took me into his own private cabinet for a smoke
and a chat； and there we sat just as sociable； and talking away
and laughing and chatting； just the same as if we had been born
in the same bunk； and all the servants in the anteroom could see
us doing it！ Oh； it was too lovely for anything！〃
The king； class Q； is happy in the modest entertainment furnished him
by the king； class M； and goes home and tells the household about it；
and is as grateful and joyful over it as were his predecessors
in the gaudier attentions that had fallen to their larger lot。
Emperors； kings； artisans； peasants； big people； little peopleat the
bottom we are all alike and all the same； all just alike on the inside；
and when our clothes are off； nobody can tell which of us is which。
We are unanimous in the pride we take in good and genuine compliments
paid us； and distinctions conferred upon us； in attentions shown。
There is not one of us； from the emperor down；； but is made like that。
Do I mean attentions shown us by the guest？ No； I mean simply
flattering attentions； let them come whence they may。 We despise
no source that can pay us a pleasing attentionthere is no source
that is humble enough for that。 You have heard a dear little girl
say to a frowzy and disreputable dog： 〃He came right to me and let
me pat him on the head； and he wouldn't let the others touch him！〃
and you have seen her eyes dance with pride in that high distinction。
You have often seen that。 If the child were a princess； would that
random dog be able to confer the like glory upon her with his
pretty compliment？ Yes； and even in her mature life and seated
upon a throne； she would still remember it； still recall it；
still speak of it with frank satisfaction。 That charming and
lovable German princess and poet； Carmen Sylva； Queen of Roumania；
remembers yet that the flowers of the woods and fields 〃talked to her〃
when she was a girl； and she sets it down in her latest book；
and that the squirrels conferred upon her and her father the valued
compliment of not being afraid of them； and 〃once one of them；
holding a nut between its sharp little teeth； ran right up against
my father〃it has the very note of 〃He came right to me and let
me pat him on the head〃〃and when it saw itself reflected in his
boot it was very much surprised； and stopped for a long time to
contemplate itself in the polished leather〃then it went its way。
And the birds！ she still remembers with pride that 〃they came
boldly into my room；〃 when she had neglected her 〃duty〃 and put
no food on the window…sill for them； she knew all the wild birds；
and forgets the royal crown on her head to remember with pride
that they knew her； also that the wasp and the bee were personal
friends of hers； and never forgot that gracious relationship
to her injury： 〃never have I been stung by a wasp or a bee。〃
And here is that proud note again that sings in that little child's
elation in being singled out； among all the company of children；
for the random dog's honor…conferring attentions。 〃Even in the very
worst summer for wasps； when； in lunching out of doors； our table
was covered with them and every one else was stung； they never
hurt me。〃
When a queen whose qualities of mind and heart and character are
able to add distinction to so distinguished a place as a throne；
remembers with grateful exultation； after thirty years； honors and
distinctions conferred upon her by the humble； wild creatures of
the forest； we are helped to realize that complimentary attentions；
homage； distinctions； are of no caste； but are above all cast
that they are a nobility…conferring power apart。
We all like these things。 When the gate…guard at the railway…station
passes me through unchallenged and examines other people's tickets；
I feel as the king； class A； felt when the emperor put the imperial
hand on his shoulder； 〃everybody seeing him do it〃； and as the child
felt when the random dog allowed her to pat his head and ostracized
the others； and as the princess felt when the wasps spared her
and stung the rest； and I felt just so； four years ago in Vienna
（and remember it yet）； when the helmeted police shut me off；
with fifty others； from a street which the Emperor was to pass through；
and the captain of the squad turned and saw the situation and said
indignantly to that guard：
〃Can't you see it is the Herr Mark Twain？ Let him through！〃
It was four years ago； but it will be four hundred before I forget
the wind of self…complacency that rose in me； and strained my
buttons when I marked the deference for me evoked in the faces of my
fellow…rabble； and noted； mingled with it； a puzzled and resentful
expression which said； as plainly as speech could have worded it：
〃And who in the nation is the Herr Mark Twain UM GOTTESWILLEN？〃
How many times in your life have you heard this boastful remark：
〃I stood as close to him as I am to you； I could have put out my
hand and touched him。〃
We have all heard it many and many a time。 It was a proud
distinction to be able to say those words。 It brought envy to
the speaker； a kind of glory； and he basked in it and was happy
through all his veins。 And who was it he stood so close to？
The answer would cov