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sister…in…law flung herself on my neck。 〃You have some nobility that
we lack。〃
Ah！ Renee； if I still live； it is doubtless because Heaven tempers the
sense of affliction to the strength of those who have to bear it。 Only
a woman can know what it is to lose a love which sprang from the heart
and was genuine throughout； a passion which was not ephemeral； and
satisfied at once the spirit and the flesh。 How rare it is to find a
man so gifted that to worship him brings no sense of degradation！ If
such supreme fortune befall us once； we cannot hope for it a second
time。 Men of true greatness； whose strength and worth are veiled by
poetic grace； and who charm by some high spiritual power； men made to
be adored； beware of love！ Love will ruin you； and ruin the woman of
your heart。 This is the burden of my cry as I pace my woodland walks。
And he has left me no child！ That love so rich in smiles； which rained
perpetual flowers and joy； has left no fruit。 I am a thing accursed。
Can it be that； even as the two extremes of polar ice and torrid sand
are alike intolerant of life； so the very purity and vehemence of a
single…hearted passion render it barren as hate？ Is it only a marriage
of reason； such as yours； which is blessed with a family？ Can Heaven
be jealous of our passions？ There are wild words。
You are； I believe； the one person whose company I could endure。 Come
to me； then； none but Renee should be with Louise in her sombre garb。
What a day when I first put on my widow's bonnet！ When I saw myself
all arrayed in black； I fell back on a seat and wept till night came；
and I weep again as I recall that moment of anguish。
Good…bye。 Writing tires me； thoughts crowd fast； but I have no heart
to put them into words。 Bring your children； you can nurse baby here
without making me jealous； all that is gone； /he/ is not here； and I
shall be very glad to see my godson。 Felipe used to wish for a child
like little Armand。 Come； then； come and help me to bear my woe。
XLVII
RENEE TO LOUISE
1829。
My darling；When you hold this letter in your hands； I shall be
already near； for I am starting a few minutes after it。 We shall be
alone together。 Louis is obliged to remain in Provence because of the
approaching elections。 He wants to be elected again； and the Liberals
are already plotting against his return。
I don't come to comfort you； I only bring you my heart to beat in
sympathy with yours； and help you to bear with life。 I come to bid you
weep； for only with tears can you purchase the joy of meeting him
again。 Remember； he is traveling towards Heaven； and every step
forward which you take brings you nearer to him。 Every duty done
breaks a link in the chain that keeps you apart。
Louise； in my arms you will once more raise your head and go on your
way to him； pure； noble； washed of all those errors； which had no root
in your heart； and bearing with you the harvest of good deeds which；
in his name； you will accomplish here。
I scribble these hasty lines in all the bustle of preparation； and
interrupted by the babies and by Armand； who keeps saying； 〃Godmother；
godmother！ I want to see her；〃 till I am almost jealous。 He might be
your child！
SECOND PART
XLVIII
THE BARONNE DE MACUMER TO THE COMTESSE DE L'ESTORADE
October 15； 1833。
Yes； Renee； it is quite true； you have been correctly informed。 I have
sold my house； I have sold Chantepleurs； and the farms in Seine…et…
Marne； but no more； please！ I am neither mad nor ruined； I assure you。
Let us go into the matter。 When everything was wound up； there
remained to me of my poor Macumer's fortune about twelve hundred
thousand francs。 I will account； as to a practical sister； for every
penny of this。
I put a million in the Three per Cents when they were at fifty； and so
I have got an income for myself of sixty thousand francs； instead of
the thirty thousand which the property yielded。 Then； only think what
my life was。 Six months of the year in the country； renewing leases；
listening to the grumbles of the farmers； who pay when it pleases
them； and getting as bored as a sportsman in wet weather。 There was
produce to sell； and I always sold it at a loss。 Then； in Paris； my
house represented a rental of ten thousand francs； I had to invest my
money at the notaries； I was kept waiting for the interest； and could
only get the money back by prosecuting； in addition I had to study the
law of mortgage。 In short； there was business in Nivernais； in Seine…
et…Marne； in Parisand what a burden； what a nuisance； what a vexing
and losing game for a widow of twenty…seven！
Whereas now my fortune is secured on the Budget。 In place of paying
taxes to the State； I receive from it； every half…year； in my own
person； and free from cost； thirty thousand francs in thirty notes；
handed over the counter to me by a dapper little clerk at the
Treasury； who smiles when he sees me coming！
Supposing the nation went bankrupt？ Well； to begin with：
'Tis not mine to see trouble so far from my door。
At the worst； too； the nation would not dock me of more than half my
income； so I should still be as well off as before my investment； and
in the meantime I shall be drawing a double income until the
catastrophe arrives。 A nation doesn't become bankrupt more than once
in a century； so I shall have plenty of time to amass a little capital
out of my savings。
And finally； is not the Comte de l'Estorade a peer of this July semi…
republic？ Is he not one of those pillars of royalty offered by the
〃people〃 to the King of the French？ How can I have qualms with a
friend at Court； a great financier； head of the Audit Department？ I
defy you to arraign my sanity！ I am almost as good at sums as your
citizen king。
Do you know what inspires a woman with all this arithmetic？ Love； my
dear！
Alas！ the moment has come for unfolding to you the mysteries of my
conduct； the motives of which have baffled even your keen sight； your
prying affection； and your subtlety。 I am to be married in a country
village near Paris。 I love and am loved。 I love as much as a woman can
who knows love well。 I am loved as much as a woman ought to be by the
man she adores。
Forgive me； Renee； for keeping this a secret from you and from every
one。 If your friend evades all spies and puts curiosity on a false
track； you must admit that my feeling for poor Macumer justified some
dissimulation。 Besides； de l'Estorade and you would have deafened me
with remonstrances； and plagued me to death with your misgivings； to
which the facts might have lent some color。 You know； if no one else
does； to what pitch my jealousy can go； and all this would only have
been useless torture to me。 I was determined to carry out； on my own
responsibility； what you； Renee； will call my insane project； and I
would take counsel only with my own head and heart； for all the world
like a schoolgirl giving the slip to her watchful parents。
The man I love possesses nothing but thirty thousand francs' worth of
debts； which I have paid。 What a theme for comment here！ You would
have tried to make Gaston out an adventurer； your husband would have
set detect