按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！
among rivers。 Chantepleurs will seem delightful to me after the pomps
and vanities of Italy； for； after all； splendor becomes wearisome； and
a lover's glance has more beauty than a /capo d'opera/ or a /bel
quadro/！
We shall expect you there。 Don't be afraid that I shall be jealous
again。 You are free to take what soundings you please in Macumer's
heart； and fish up all the interjections and doubts you can。 I am
supremely indifferent。 Since that day at Rome Felipe's love for me has
grown。 He told me yesterday （he is looking over my shoulder now） that
his sister…in…law； the Princess Heredia； his destined bride of old；
the dream of his youth； had no brains。 Oh！ my dear； I am worse than a
ballet…dancer！ If you knew what joy that slighting remark gave me！ I
have pointed out to Felipe that she does not speak French correctly。
She says /esemple/ for /exemple/； /sain/ for /cinq/； /cheu/ for /je/。
She is beautiful of course； but quite without charm or the slightest
scintilla of wit。 When a compliment is paid her； she looks at you as
though she didn't know what to do with such a strange thing。 Felipe；
being what he is； could not have lived two months with Marie after his
marriage。 Don Fernand； the Duc de Soria； suits her very well。 He has
generous instincts； but it's easy to see he has been a spoilt child。 I
am tempted to be naughty and make you laugh； but I won't draw the long
bow。 Ever so much love； darling。
XLII
RENEE TO LOUISE
My little girl is two months old。 She is called Jeanne…Athenais； and
has for godmother and godfather my mother； and an old grand…uncle of
Louis'。
As soon as I possibly can； I shall start for my visit to Chantepleurs；
since you are not afraid of a nursing mother。 Your godson can say your
name now； he calls it /Matoumer/； for he can't say /c/ properly。 You
will be quite delighted with him。 He has got all his teeth； and eats
meat now like a big boy； he is all over the place； trotting about like
a little mouse； but I watch him all the time with anxious eyes； and it
makes me miserable that I cannot keep him by me when I am laid up。 The
time is more than usually long with me； as the doctors consider some
special precautions necessary。 Alas！ my child； habit does not inure
one to child…bearing。 There are the same old discomforts and
misgivings。 However （don't show this to Felipe）； this little girl
takes after me； and she may yet cut out your Armand。
My father thought Felipe looking very thin； and my dear pet also not
quite so blooming。 Yet the Duc and Duchesse de Soria have gone； not a
loophole for jealousy is left！ Is there any trouble which you are
hiding from me？ Your letter is neither so long nor so full of loving
thoughts as usual。 Is this only a whim of my dear whimsical friend？
I am running on too long。 My nurse is angry with me for writing； and
Mlle。 Athenais de l'Estorade wants her dinner。 Farewell； then； write
me some nice long letters。
XLIII
MME。 DE MACUMER TO THE COMTESSE DE L'ESTORADE
For the first time in my life； my dear Renee； I have been alone and
crying。 I was sitting under a willow； on a wooden bench by the side of
the long Chantepleurs marsh。 The view there is charming； but it needs
some merry children to complete it； and I wait for you。 I have been
married nearly three years； and no child！ The thought of your quiver
full drove me to explore my heart。
And this is what I find there。 〃Oh！ if I had to suffer a hundred…fold
what Renee suffered when my godson was born； if I had to see my child
in convulsions； even so would to God that I might have a cherub of my
own； like your Athenais！〃 I can see her from here in my mind's eye；
and I know she is beautiful as the day； for you tell me nothing about
herthat is just like my Renee！ I believe you divine my trouble。
Each time my hopes are disappointed； I fall a prey for some days to
the blackest melancholy。 Then I compose sad elegies。 When shall I
embroider little caps and sew lace edgings to encircle a tiny head？
When choose the cambric for the baby…clothes？ Shall I never hear baby
lips shout 〃Mamma；〃 and have my dress pulled by a teasing despot whom
my heart adores？ Are there to be no wheelmarks of a little carriage on
the gravel； no broken toys littered about the courtyard？ Shall I never
visit the toy…shops； as mothers do； to buy swords； and dolls； and
baby…houses？ And will it never be mine to watch the unfolding of a
precious lifeanother Felipe； only more dear？ I would have a son； if
only to learn how a lover can be more to one in his second self。
My park and castle are cold and desolate to me。 A childless woman is a
monstrosity of nature； we exist only to be mothers。 Oh！ my sage in
woman's livery； how well you have conned the book of life！ Everywhere；
too； barrenness is a dismal thing。 My life is a little too much like
one of Gessner's or Florian's sheepfolds； which Rivarol longed to see
invaded by a wolf。 I too have it in me to make sacrifices！ There are
forces in me； I feel； which Felipe has no use for； and if I am not to
be a mother； I must be allowed to indulge myself in some romantic
sorrow。
I have just made this remark to my belated Moor； and it brought tears
to his eyes。 He cannot stand any joking on his love； so I let him off
easily； and only called him a paladin of folly。
At times I am seized with a desire to go on pilgrimage； to bear my
longings to the shrine of some madonna or to a watering…place。 Next
winter I shall take medical advice。 I am too much enraged with myself
to write more。 Good…bye。
XLIV
THE SAME TO THE SAME
Paris； 1829。
A whole year passed； my dear； without a letter！ What does this mean？ I
am a little hurt。 Do you suppose that your Louis； who comes to see me
almost every alternate day； makes up for you？ It is not enough to know
that you are well and that everything prospers with you； for I love
you； Renee； and I want to know what you are feeling and thinking of；
just as I say everything to you； at the risk of being scolded； or
censured； or misunderstood。 Your silence and seclusion in the country；
at the time when you might be in Paris enjoying all the Parliamentary
honors of the Comte de l'Estorade； cause me serious anxiety。 You know
that your husband's 〃gift of gab〃 and unsparing zeal have won for him
quite a position here； and he will doubtless receive some very good
post when the session is over。 Pray； do you spend your life writing
him letters of advice？ Numa was not so far removed from his Egeria。
Why did you not take this opportunity of seeing Paris？ I might have
enjoyed your company for four months。 Louis told me yesterday that you
were coming to fetch him； and would have your third confinement in
Parisyou terrible mother Gigogne！ After bombarding Louis with
queries； exclamations； and regrets； I at last defeated his strategy so
far as to discover that his grand…uncle； the godfather of Athenais； is
very ill。 Now I believe that you； like a careful mother； would be
quite equal to angling with the member's speeches and fame for a fat
legacy from your husband's last remaining relative on the mother's
side。 Keep your mind easy； my Reneewe are all at work for Louis；
Lenonc