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and admonitions which the decay of Nature and the dying year always
inspire； and admitting the poet's decade
〃Leaves have their time to fall；
And stars to set；but all；
Thou hast all seasons for thine own； O Death！〃
There is a brighter Autumn beyond； and brighter opening years to
those who choose them rather than dead leaves and bitter fruits。
Thus we can conclude tranquilly with Bryant； as we began gaily with
another
〃So live； that when thy summons comes to join
The innumerable caravan； which moves
To that mysterious realm； where each shall take
His chamber in the silent halls of death；
Thou go not； like the quarry…slave at night；
Scourged to his dungeon； but； sustained and soothed
By an unfaltering trust； approach thy grave
Like one who wraps the drapery of his couch
About him； and lies down to pleasant dreams。〃
1。50。 PAYING FOR HIS PROVENDER BY PRAYING。
We have no intention of making fun of serious matters in telling the
following story； we merely relate a fact。
There is a rule at Oberlin College that no student shall board at
any house where prayers are not regularly made each day。 A certain
man fitted up a boarding…house and filled it with boarders； but
forgot； until the eleventh hour； the prayer proviso。 Not being a
praying man himself； he looked around for one who was。 At length he
found onea meek young man from Trumbull Countywho agreed to pay
for his board in praying。 For a while all went smoothly； but the
boarding…master furnished his table so poorly that the boarders
began to grumble and to leave； and the other morning the praying
boarder actually 〃struck！〃 Something like the following dialogue
occurred at the table：
LANDLORD。Will you pray； Mr。 Mild？
MILD。No； sir； I will not。
LANDLORD。Why not； Mr。 Mild？
MILD。It don't pay； sir。 I can't pray on such victuals as these。
And unless you bind yourself in writing to set a better table than
you have for the last three weeks； NARY ANOTHER PRAYER YOU GET OUT
OF ME！
And that's the way the matter stood at latest advices。
1。51。 HUNTING TROUBLE。
Hunting trouble is too fashionable in this world。 Contentment and
jollity are not cultivated as they should be。 There are too many
prematurely…wrinkled long and melancholy faces among us。 There is
too much swearing； sweating and slashing； fuming； foaming and
fretting around and about us all。
〃A mad world； my masters。〃
People rush outdoors bareheaded and barefooted； as it were； and dash
blindly into all sorts of dark alleys in quest of all sorts of
Trouble； when； 〃Goodness knows；〃 if they will only sit calmly and
pleasantly by their firesides； Trouble will knock soon enough at
their doors。
Hunting Trouble is bad business。 If we ever are induced to descend
from our present proud position to become a member of the
Legislature； or ever accumulate sufficient muscle； impudence； and
taste for bad liquor to go to Congress； we shall introduce 〃a
william〃 for the suppression of Trouble…hunting。 We know Miss
Slinkins； who incessantly frets because Miss Slurkins is better
harnessed than she is； won't like it； and we presume the Simpkinses；
who worry so much because the Perkinses live in a freestone…fronted
house whilst theirs is only plain brick； won't like it also。 It is
doubtful； too； whether our long…haired friends the Reformers （who
think the machinery of the world is all out of joint； while we think
it only needs a little greasing to run in first…rate style）； will
approve the measure。 It is probable； indeed； that very many
societies； of a reformatory （and inflammatory） character； would
frown upon the measure。 But the measure would be a good one
nevertheless。
Never hunt Trouble。 However dead a shot one may be； the gun he
carries on such expeditions is sure to kick or go off half…cocked。
Trouble will come soon enough； and when he does come； receive him as
pleasantly as possible。 Like the tax…collector； he is a disagreeable
chap to have in one's house； but the more amiably you greet him the
sooner he will go away。
1。52。 DARK DOINGS。
Four promising young men of this city attended a ball in the rural
districts not long since。 At a late hour they retired； leaving word
with the clerk of the hotel to call them early in the morning； as
they wanted to take the first train home。 The clerk was an old
friend of the 〃fellers；〃 and he thought he would have a slight joke
at their expense。 So he burnt some cork； and； with a sponge；
blacked the faces of his city friends after they had got soundly
asleep。 In the morning he called them about ten minutes before the
train came along。 Feller No。 1 awoke and laughed boisterously at
the sight which met his gaze。 But he saw through itthe clerk had
played his good joke on his three comrades； and of course he would
keep mum。 But it was a devilish good joke。 Feller No。 2 awoke； saw
the three black men in the room； comprehended the joke； and laughed
vociferously。 But he would keep mum。 Fellers No。 3 and 4 awoke；
and experienced the same pleasant feeling； and there was the
beautiful spectacle of four nice young men laughing heartily one at
another； each one supposing the 〃urban clerk〃 had spared him in his
cork…daubing operations。 They had only time to dress before the
train arrived。 They all got aboard； each thinking what a glorious
joke it was to have his three companions go back to town with black
faces。 The idea was so rich that they all commenced laughing
violently as soon as they got aboard the cars。 The other passengers
took to laughing also； and fun raged fast and furious； until the
benevolent baggage…man； seeing how matters stood； brought a small
pocket…glass and handed it around to the young men。 They suddenly
stopped laughing； rushed wildly for the baggage…car； washed their
faces； and amused and instructed each other during the remainder of
the trip with some eloquent flashes of silence。
1。53。 REPORTERS。
The following paragraph is going the rounds：〃How many a great man
is now basking in the sunshine of fame generously bestowed upon him
by the prolific genius of some reporter！ How many stupid orations
have been made brilliant； how many wandering； pointless； objectless；
speeches put in form and rendered at least readable； by the unknown
reporter！ How many a disheartened speaker； who was conscious the
night before of a failure； before a thin； cold； spiritless audience；
awakes delighted to learn that he has addressed an overwhelming
assemblage of his enthusiastic； appreciating fellow…citizens； to
find his speech sparkling with 'cheers；' breaking out into 'immense
applause；' and concluding amidst 'the wildest excitement！'〃
There is considerable truth in the above； we are sorry to state。
Reporters are too apt to smooth over and give a fair face to the
stupidity and bombast of political and other public humbugs。 For
this they are not only seldom thanked； but frequently are kicked。
Of course this sort of thing is wrong。 A Reporter should be
independent enough to meet the approaches of gentl