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independent enough to meet the approaches of gentlemen of the
Nincompoop persuasion with a flat rebuff。 He should never gloss
over a political humbug； whether he belongs to 〃our side〃 or not。
He is not thanked for doing it； and； furthermore； he loses the
respect and confidence of his readers。 There are many amiable
gentlemen ornamenting the various walks of life； who are under the
impression that for a dozen bad cigars or a few drinks of worse
whisky they can purchase the 〃opinion〃 of almost any Reporter。 It
has been our pleasure on several occasions to disabuse those
gentlemen of this impression。
Should another occasion of this kind ever offer； we feel that we
should be 〃adequate〃 to treat it in a similar manner。 A Reporter；
we modestly submit； is as good as anybody； and ought to feel that he
is； everywhere and at all times。 For one； let us quietly and
without any show of vanity remark； that we are not only just as good
as anybody else； but a great deal better than many we know of。 We
love God and hate Indians： pay our debts； support the Constitution
of the United States； go in for Progress； Sunshine； Calico； and
other luxuries； are perfectly satisfied and happy； and wouldn't swop
〃sits〃 with the President； Louis Napoleon； the Emperor of China；
Sultan of Turkey； Brigham Young； or Nicholas Longworth。 Success to
us！
1。54。 HE HAD THE LITTLE VOUCHER IN HIS POCKET。
L lived in this city several years ago。 He dealt in horses；
carriages； &c。 Hearing of a good chance to sell buggies up West； he
embarked with a lot for that 〃great〃 country。 At Toledo he took a
Michigan Southern train。 Somebody had by way of a joke； warned him
against the conductor of that particular train； telling him that
said conductor had an eccentric way of taking up tickets at the
beginning of the journey； and of denying that he had done so and
demanding fare at the end thereof。 This the confiding L
swallowed。 He determined not to be swindled in this way； and so
when the conductor came around and asked him for his ticket he
declined giving up。 The conductor insisted。 L still refused。
〃I've got the little voucher in my pocket；〃 he said； with a knowing
look； slily slapping the pocket which contained the ticket。
The conductor glanced at L's stalwart frame。 He had heard L
spoken of as a fighting man。 He preferred not to grapple with him。
The train was a light one； and it so happened that L was the only
man in this； the hind car。 So the conductor had the train stopped；
and quietly unhitched this car。
〃Good day； Mr。 L；〃 he yelled； 〃just keep that little voucher in your
pocket； and be dd to you！〃
L jumped up and saw the other cars moving rapidly away。 He was
left solitary and alone； in a dismal piece of woods known as the
Black Swamp。 He remained there in the car until night； when the
down…train came along and took him to Toledo。 He had to pay fare；
his up through…ticket not being good on that train。 His buggies had
gone unattended to Chicago。 He was very angry。 He finally got
through； but he will never hear the last of that 〃little voucher。〃
1。55。 THE GENTLEMANLY CONDUCTOR。
Few have any idea of the trials and tribulations of the railway
conductor〃the gentlemanly conductor；〃 as one…horse newspapers
delight in styling him。 Unless you are gifted with the patience of
the lamented Job； who； tradition informs us； had 〃biles〃 all over
his body； and didn't swear once； never go for a Conductor； me boy！
The other evening we enlivened a railroad car with our brilliant
presence。 Starting time was not quite up； and the passengers were
amusing themselves by laughing； swearing； singing； and talking；
according to their particular fancy。 The Conductor came in； and the
following were a few of the questions put to him：One old fellow；
who was wrapped up in a horse…blanket； and who apparently had about
two pounds of pigtail in his mouth； wanted to know； 〃What pint of
compass the keers was travelin in？〃 An old lady； surrounded by
band…boxes and enveloped in flannels； wanted to know what time
the eight o'clock train left Rock Island for 〃Dubu…kue？〃 A
carroty…haired young man wanted to know if 〃free omyibuses〃 ran
from the cars to the taverns in Toledo？ A tall； razor…faced
individual； evidently from the interior of Connecticut； desired to
know if 〃conductin〃 paid as well eout West as it did deoun in his
country； and a portly； close…shaven man with round keen eyes； and
in whose face you could read the interest…table； asked the price of
corner lots in Omaha。 These and many other equally absurd questions
the conductor answered calmly and in a resigned manner。 And we
shuddered as we thought how he would have to answer a similar string
of questions in each of the three cars ahead。
1。56。 MORALITY AND GENIUS。
We see it gravely stated in a popular Metropolitan journal that
〃true genius goes hand in hand； necessarily； with morality。〃 The
statement is not a startlingly novel one。 It has been made；
probably； about sixty thousand times before。 But it is untrue and
foolish。 We wish genius and morality were affectionate companions；
but it is a fact that they are often bitter enemies。 They don't
necessarily coalesce any more than oil and water do！ Innumerable
instances may be readily produced in support of this proposition。
Nobody doubts that Sheridan had genius； yet he was a sad dog。 Mr。
Byron； the author of Childe Harold 〃and other poems；〃 was a man of
genius； we think； yet Mr。 Byron was a fearfully fast man。 Edgar A。
Poe wrote magnificent poetry and majestic prose； but he was； in
private life； hardly the man for small and select tea parties。
We fancy Sir Richard Steele was a man of genius； but he got
disreputably drunk； and didn't pay his debts。 Swift had geniusan
immense lot of ityet Swift was a cold…blooded； pitiless； bad man。
The catalogue might be spun out to any length； but it were useless
to do it。 We don't mean to intimate that men of genius must
necessarily be sots and spendthriftswe merely speak of the fact
that very many of them have been both； and in some instances much
worse than both。 Still we can't well see （though some think they
can） how the pleasure and instruction people derive from reading the
productions of these great lights is diminished because their morals
were 〃lavishly loose。〃 They might have written better had their
private lives been purer； but of this nobody can determine for the
pretty good reason that nobody knows。
So with actors。 We have seen people stay away from the theater
because Mrs。 Grundy said the star of the evening invariably retired
to his couch in a state of extreme inebriety。 If the star is
afflicted with a weakness of this kind； we may regret it。 We may
pity or censure the star。 But we must still acknowledge the star's
genius； and applaud it。 Hence we conclude that the chronic weakness
of actors no more affects the question of the propriety of
patronizing theatrical representations； than the profligacy of
journeymen shoemakers affects the question of the propriety of
wearing boots。 All of which is respectfully submitted。
1。57。 ROUGH BEGINNING OF THE HONEYMOON。
On