按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！
elegant drawing…room this afternoon。 And she is accumulating muscle
and freshness of face by these walks to market。
And here IS a charming picture。 Standing beside a vegetable cart is
a maiden beautiful and sweeter far than any daisy in the fields。
Eyes of purest blue； lips of cherry red； teeth like pearls； silken；
golden hair； and form of exquisite mould。 We wonder if she is a
fairy； but instantly conclude that she is not； for in measuring out
a peck of onions she spills some of them； a small boy laughs at the
mishap； and she indignantly shies the measure at his head。 Fairies；
you know； don't throw peck measures at small boys' heads。 The spell
was broken。 The golden chain which for a moment bound us fell to
pieces。 We meet an eccentric individual in corduroy pantaloons and
pepper…and…salt coat； who wants to know if we didn't sail out of
Nantucket in 1852 in the whaling brig 〃Jasper Green。〃 We are
compelled to confess that the only nautical experience we ever had
was to once temporarily command a canal boat on the dark…rolling
Wabash； while the captain went ashore to cave in the head of a
miscreant who had winked lasciviously at the sylph who superintended
the culinary department on board that gallant craft。 The eccentric
individual smiles in a ghastly manner； says perhaps we won't lend
him a dollar till tomorrow； to which we courteously reply that we
CERTAINLY won't； and he glides away。
We return to our hotel； reinvigorated with the early； healthful
jaunt； and bestow an imaginary purse of gold upon our African
Brother； who brings us a hot and excellent breakfast。
1。45。 WE SEE TWO WITCHES。
Two female fortune…tellers recently came hither； and spread 〃small
bills〃 throughout the city。 Being slightly anxious； in common with
a wide circle of relatives and friends； to know where we were going
to； and what was to become of us； we visited both of these eminently
respectable witches yesterday and had our fortune told 〃twict。〃
Physicians sometimes disagree； lawyers invariably do； editors
occasionally fall out； and we are pained to say that even witches
unfold different tales to one individual。 In describing our
interviews with these singularly gifted female women； who are
actually and positively here in this city； we must speak
considerably of 〃we〃not because we flatter ourselves that we are
more interesting than people in general； but because in the present
case it is really necessary。 In the language of Hamlet's Pa； 〃List；
O list！〃
We went to see 〃Madame B。〃 first。 She has rooms at the Burnett
House。 The following is a copy of her bill：
MADAME B。；
THE CELEBRATED SPANISH ASTROLOGIST； CLAIRVOYANT
AND FEMALE DOCTRESS；
Would respectfully announce to the citizens that she has just
arrived in this city； and designs remaining for a few days only。
The Madame can be consulted on all matters pertaining to life
either past； present； or futuretracing the line of life from
Infancy to Old Age； particularizing each event； in regard to
Business； Love； Marriage； Courtship； Losses； Law Matters； and
Sickness of Relatives and Friends at a distance。
The Madame will also show her visitors a life…like representation
of their Future Husbands and Wives。
LUCKY NUMBERS IN LOTTERIES
Can also be selected by her； and hundreds who have consulted her
have drawn capital prizes。 The Madame will furnish medicine for
all diseases； for grown persons （male or female） and children。
Persons wishing to consult her concerning this mysterious art and
human destiny； particularly with reference to their own individual
bearing in relation to a supposed Providence； can be accommodated by
ROOM NO。 23； BURNETT HOUSE；
Corner of Prospect and Ontario streets； Cleveland。
The Madame has traveled extensively for the last few years； both in
the United States and the West Indies； and the success which has
attended her in all places has won for her the reputation of being
the most wonderful Astrologist of the present age。
The Madame has a superior faculty for this business； having been
born with a Caul on her Face； by virtue of which she can more
accurately read the past； present； and future； also enabling her to
cure many diseases without using drugs or medicines。 The madame
advertises nothing but what she can do。 Call on her if you would
consult the greatest Foreteller of events now living。
Hours of Consultation； from 8 A。M。 to 9 o'clock P。M。
We urbanely informed the lady with the 〃Caul on her Face〃 that we
had called to have our fortune told； and she said； 〃Hand out your
money。〃 This preliminary being settled； Madame B。 （who is a tall；
sharp…eyed； dark…featured and angular woman； dressed in painfully
positive colors； and heavily loaded with gold chain and mammoth
jewelry of various kinds） and Jupiter indicated powerful that we
were a slim constitution； which came down on to us from our father's
side。 Wherein our constitution was not slim； so it came down on to
us from our mother's side。
〃Is this so？〃
And we said it was。
〃Yes；〃 continued the witch； 〃I know'd 'twas。 You can't deceive
Jupiter； me； nor any other planick。 You may swim same as Leander
did； but you can't deceive the planicks。 Give me your hand！ Times
ain't so easy as they has been。 Sosobut 'tis temp'ry。 'Twon't
last long。 Times will be easy soon。 You may be tramped on to onct
or twict； but you'll rekiver。 You have talenk； me child。 You kin
make a Congresser if sich you likes to be。 ＇We said we would be
excused； if it was all the same to her。＇ You kin be a lawyer。 ＇We
thanked her； but said we would rather retain our present good moral
character。＇ You kin be a soldier。 You have courage enough to go to
the Hostrian wars and kill the French。 ＇We informed her that we had
already murdered some 〃English。〃＇ You won't have much money till
you're thirty…three years of old。 Then you will have large sums
forty thousand dollars； perhaps。 Look out for it！ ＇We promised we
would。＇ You have traveled some； and you will travel more； which
will make your travels more extensiver than they has been。 You will
go to Californy by way of Pike's Pick。 ＇Same route taken by Horace
Greeley。＇ If nothin happens onto you； you won't meet with no
accidents and will get through pleasant； which you otherwise will
not do under all circumstances however； which doth happen to all；
both great and small； likewise to the rich as also the poor。
Hearken to me！ There has been deaths in your family； and there will
be more！ But Reserve your constitution and you will live to be
seventy years of old。 Me child； HER hair will be blackblack as
the Raving's wing。 Likewise black will also be her eyes； and she'll
be as different from which you air as night and day。 Look out for
the darkish man！ He's yer rival！ Beware of the darkish man！ ＇We
promised that we'd introduce a funeral into the 〃darkish man's〃
family the moment we encountered him。＇ Me child； there's more
sunshine than clouds for ye； and send all your friends up here。
〃A wor