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received nothing but the yellow fever。 The Hon。 Oracular M。
Matterson becomes able to withstand any quantity of late nights and
bad brandy； is elected to Congress； and lobbies through contracts by
which he realizes some 50；000 dollars； while private individuals
lose 100；000 dollars by the Atlantic Cable。 Contracts are popular
the cable isn't。 Fiddlers； Prima Donnas； Horse Operas； learned
pigs； and five…legged calves travel through the country； reaping
〃golden opinions；〃 while editors； inventors； professors； and
humanitarians generally； are starving in garrets。 Revivals of
religion； fashions； summer resorts； and pleasure trips； are
exceedingly popular； while trade； commerce； chloride of lime； and
all the concomitants necessary to render the inner life of denizens
of cities tolerable； are decidedly non est。 Even water； which was
so popular and populous a few weeks agone； comes to us in such
stinted sprinklings that it has become popular to supply it only
from hydrants in sufficient quantities to raise one hundred
disgusting smells in a distance of two blocks。 Monsieur Revierre；
with nothing but a small name and a large quantity of hair； makes
himself exceedingly popular with hotel…keepers and a numerous
progeny of female Flaunts and Blounts； while Felix Smooth and Mr。
Chink； who persistently set forth their personal and more
substantial marital charms through the columns of 〃New York Herald；〃
have only received one interview eachone from a man in female
attire； and the other from the keeper of an unmentionable house。
Popularity is a queer thing； very。 If you don't believe us； try it！
1。40。 A LITTLE DIFFICULTY IN THE WAY。
An enterprising traveling agent for a well…known Cleveland Tombstone
Manufactory lately made a business visit to a small town in an
adjoining county。 Hearing； in the village； that a man in a remote
part of the township had lost his wife； he thought he would go and
see him； and offer him consolation and a gravestone； on his usual
reasonable terms。 He started。 The road was a frightful one； but
the agent persevered； and finally arrived at the bereaved man's
house。 Bereaved man's hired girl told the agent that the bereaved
man was splitting fence rails 〃over in pastur； about two milds。〃
The indefatigable agent hitched his horse and started for the
〃pastur。〃 After falling into all manner of mudholes； scratching
himself with briers； and tumbling over decayed logs； the agent at
length found the bereaved man。 In a subdued voice he asked the man
if he had lost his wife。 The man said he had。 The agent was very
sorry to hear of it； and sympathized with the man deeply in his
great affliction； but death； he said； was an insatiate archer； and
shot down all； both of high and low degree。 Informed the man that
〃what was his loss was her gain；〃 and would be glad to sell him a
gravestone to mark the spot where the beloved one sleptmarble or
common stone； as he chose； at prices defying competition。 The
bereaved man said there was 〃a little difficulty in the way。〃
〃Haven't you lost your wife？〃 inquired the agent。
〃Why； yes； I have；〃 said the man； 〃but no gravestun ain't necessary：
you see the cussed critter ain't dead。 SHE'S SCOOTED WITH ANOTHER
MAN！〃
The agent retired。
1。41。 COLORED PEOPLE'S CHURCH。
There is a plain little meeting…house on Barnwell Street （One of the
streets of the city of Cleveland。） in which the colored peopleor a
goodly portion of themworship on Sundays。 The seats are
cushionless； and have perpendicular backs。 The pulpit is plain
whitetrimmed with red； it is true； but still a very unostentatious
affair for colored people； who are supposed to have a decided
weakness for gay hues。 Should you escort a lady to this church； and
seat yourself beside her； you will infallibly be touched on the
shoulder； and politely requested to move to the 〃gentlemen's side。〃
Gentlemen and ladies are not allowed to sit together in this church。
They are parted remorselessly。 It is hardwe may say it is
terribleto be torn asunder in this way； but you have to submit；
and of course you had better do so gracefully and pleasantly。
Meeting opens with an old…fashioned hymn； which is very well sung
indeed by the congregation。 Then the minister reads a hymn； which
is sung by the choir on the front seats near the pulpit。 Then the
minister prays。 He hopes no one has been attracted there by idle
curiosityto see or be seenand you naturally conclude that he is
gently hitting you。 Another hymn follows the prayer； and then we
have the discourse； which certainly has the merit of peculiarity and
boldness。 The minister's name is Jones。 He don't mince matters at
all。 He talks about the 〃flames of hell〃 with a confident
fierceness that must be quite refreshing to sinners。
〃There's no half…way about this；〃 says he； 〃no by…paths。
〃There are in Cleveland lots of men who go to church regularly； who
behave well in meeting； and who pay their bills。
〃They ain't Christians though。
〃They're gentlemen sinners。
〃And whar d'ye spose they'll fetch up？
〃I'll tell yethey'll fetch him up in hll； and they'll come up
standing toothere's where they'll fetch up。
〃Who's my backer？
〃Have I got a backer？
〃Whar's my backer？
〃This is my backer （striking the Bible before him）the Bible will
back me to any amount！〃
To still further convince his hearers that he was in earnest； he
exclaimed； 〃That's methat's Jones！〃
He alluded to Eve in terms of bitter censure。 It was natural that
Adam should have been mad at her。 〃I shouldn't want a woman that
wouldn't mind me； myself；〃 said the speaker。
He directed his attention to dancing； declaring it to be a great
sin。 Whar there's dancing there's fiddlingwhar there's fiddling
there's unrighteousness； and unrighteousness is wickedness； and
wickedness is sin！ That's methat's Jones。〃
Bosom the speaker invariably called 〃buzzim；〃 and devil 〃debil；〃
with a fearfully strong accent on the 〃il。〃
1。42。 SPIRITS。
Mr。 Davenport （One of the afterwards notorious Davenport Brothers。）；
who has been for some time closely identified with the modern
spiritual movement； is in the city with his daughter； who is quite
celebrated as a medium。 They are accompanied by Mr。 Eighme and his
daughter； and are holding circles in Hoffman's Block every afternoon
and evening。 We were present at the circle last evening。 Miss
Davenport seated herself at a table on which was a tin trumpet； a
tambourine； and a guitar。 The audience were seated around the room。
The lights were blown out； and the spirit of an eccentric
individual； well known to the Davenports； and whom they call George；
addressed the audience through the trumpet。 He called several of
those present by name in a boisterous voice； and dealt several
stunning knocks on the table。 George has been in the spirit…world
some two hundred years。 He is a rather rough spirit； and probably
run with the machine and 〃killed for Kyser〃 when in the flesh。
（Kyser is an extensive New York butcher； and 〃to kill〃 ＇or
slaughter＇ for him has passed into a saying with the roughs； or
〃bhoys；〃 of New York。 To 〃run with a ＇fire＇ machine。〃） H