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that compels a certain amount of respect。 Our countrywomen will
deny themselves pleasures； will economize on their food and will
remain in town during the summer； but when walking abroad they must
be clad in the best； so that no one may know by their appearance if
the income be counted by hundreds or thousands。
While these standards prevail and the female mind is fixed on this
subject with such dire intent； it is not astonishing that a weaker
sister is occasionally tempted beyond her powers of resistance。
Nor that each day a new case of a well…dressed woman thieving in a
shop reaches our ears。 The poor feeble…minded creature is not to
blame。 She is but the reflexion of the minds around her and is
probably like the lady Emerson tells of； who confessed to him 〃that
the sense of being perfectly well…dressed had given her a feeling
of inward tranquillity which religion was powerless to bestow。〃
CHAPTER 5 … On Some Gilded Misalliances
A DEAR old American lady； who lived the greater part of her life in
Rome； and received every body worth knowing in her spacious
drawing…rooms； far up in the dim vastnesses of a Roman palace； used
to say that she had only known one really happy marriage made by an
American girl abroad。
In those days； being young and innocent； I considered that remark
cynical； and in my heart thought nothing could be more romantic and
charming than for a fair compatriot to assume an historic title and
retire to her husband's estates； and rule smilingly over him and a
devoted tenantry； as in the last act of a comic opera； when a rose…
colored light is burning and the orchestra plays the last brilliant
chords of a wedding march。
There seemed to my perverted sense a certain poetic justice about
the fact that money； gained honestly but prosaically； in groceries
or gas； should go to regild an ancient blazon or prop up the
crumbling walls of some stately palace abroad。
Many thoughtful years and many cruel realities have taught me that
my gracious hostess of the 〃seventies〃 was right； and that marriage
under these conditions is apt to be much more like the comic opera
after the curtain has been rung down； when the lights are out； the
applauding public gone home； and the weary actors brought slowly
back to the present and the positive； are wondering how they are to
pay their rent or dodge the warrant in ambush around the corner。
International marriages usually come about from a deficient
knowledge of the world。 The father becomes rich； the family travel
abroad； some mutual friend （often from purely interested motives）
produces a suitor for the hand of the daughter； in the shape of a
〃prince〃 with a title that makes the whole simple American family
quiver with delight。
After a few visits the suitor declares himself； the girl is
flattered； the father loses his head； seeing visions of his loved
daughter hob…nobbing with royalty； and （intoxicating thought！）
snubbing the 〃swells〃 at home who had shown reluctance to recognize
him and his family。
It is next to impossible for him to get any reliable information
about his future son…in…law in a country where； as an American； he
has few social relations； belongs to no club； and whose idiom is a
sealed book to him。 Every circumstance conspires to keep the flaws
on the article for sale out of sight and place the suitor in an
advantageous light。 Several weeks' 〃courting〃 follows；
paterfamilias agrees to part with a handsome share of his earnings；
and a marriage is 〃arranged。〃
In the case where the girl has retained some of her self…respect
the suitor is made to come to her country for the ceremony。 And；
that the contrast between European ways and our simple habits may
not be too striking； an establishment is hastily got together； with
hired liveries and new…bought carriages； as in a recent case in
this state。 The sensational papers write up this 〃international
union；〃 and publish 〃faked〃 portraits of the bride and her noble
spouse。 The sovereign of the groom's country （enchanted that some
more American money is to be imported into his land） sends an
economical present and an autograph letter。 The act ends。
Limelight and slow music！
In a few years rumors of dissent and trouble float vaguely back to
the girl's family。 Finally； either a great scandal occurs； and
there is one dishonored home the more in the world； or an
expatriated woman； thousands of miles from the friends and
relatives who might be of some comfort to her； makes up her mind to
accept 〃anything〃 for the sake of her children； and attempts to
build up some sort of an existence out of the remains of her lost
illusions； and the father wakes up from his dream to realize that
his wealth has only served to ruin what he loved best in all the
world。
Sometimes the conditions are delightfully comic； as in a well…known
case； where the daughter； who married into an indolent； happy…go…
lucky Italian family； had inherited her father's business push and
energy along with his fortune； and immediately set about 〃running〃
her husband's estate as she had seen her father do his bank。 She
tried to revive a half…forgotten industry in the district； scraped
and whitewashed their picturesque old villa； proposed her husband's
entering business； and in short dashed head down against all his
inherited traditions and national prejudices； until her new family
loathed the sight of the brisk American face； and the poor she had
tried to help； sulked in their newly drained houses and refused to
be comforted。 Her ways were not Italian ways； and she seemed to
the nun…like Italian ladies； almost unsexed； as she tramped about
the fields； talking artificial manure and subsoil drainage with the
men。 Yet neither she nor her husband was to blame。 The young
Italian had but followed the teachings of his family； which decreed
that the only honorable way for an aristocrat to acquire wealth was
to marry it。 The American wife honestly tried to do her duty in
this new position； naively thinking she could engraft transatlantic
〃go〃 upon the indolent Italian character。 Her work was in vain；
she made herself and her husband so unpopular that they are now
living in this country； regretting too late the error of their
ways。
Another case but little less laughable； is that of a Boston girl
with a neat little fortune of her own； who； when married to the
young Viennese of her choice； found that he expected her to live
with his family on the third floor of their 〃palace〃 （the two lower
floors being rented to foreigners）； and as there was hardly enough
money for a box at the opera； she was not expected to go； whereas
his position made it necessary for him to have a stall and appear
there nightly among the men of his rank； the astonished and
disillusioned Bostonian remaining at home EN TETE…A