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he unconsciously cuts two…thirds of his newly acquired circle the
next afternoon； and the following winter； after a ten…months'
absence； he innocently ignores the other third。 So hopelessly has
he offended in this way； that last season； on being presented to a
club member； the latter peevishly blurted out：
〃This is the fourth time I have been introduced to Mr。 Blank； but
he never remembers me；〃 and glared coldly at him； laying it all
down to my friend's snobbishness and to the airs of a New Yorker
when away from home。 If instead of being sacrificed to the
introducer's mistaken zeal my poor friend had been left quietly to
himself； he would in good time have met the people congenial to him
and avoided giving offence to a number of kindly gentlemen。
This introducing mania takes an even more aggressive form in the
hostess； who imagines that she is lacking in hospitality if any two
people in her drawing…room are not made known to each other。 No
matter how interested you may be in a chat with a friend； you will
see her bearing down upon you； bringing in tow the one human being
you have carefully avoided for years。 Escape seems impossible； but
as a forlorn hope you fling yourself into conversation with your
nearest neighbor； trying by your absorbed manner to ward off the
calamity。 In vain！ With a tap on your elbow your smiling hostess
introduces you and； having spoiled your afternoon； flits off in
search of other prey。
The question of introductions is one on which it is impossible to
lay down any fixed rules。 There must constantly occur situations
where one's acts must depend upon a kindly consideration for other
people's feelings； which after all； is only another name for tact。
Nothing so plainly shows the breeding of a man or woman as skill in
solving problems of this kind without giving offence。
Foreigners； with their greater knowledge of the world； rarely fall
into the error of indiscriminate introducing； appreciating what a
presentation means and what obligations it entails。 The English
fall into exactly the contrary error from ours； and carry it to
absurd lengths。 Starting with the assumption that everybody knows
everybody； and being aware of the general dread of meeting
〃detrimentals；〃 they avoid the difficulty by making no
introductions。 This may work well among themselves； but it is
trying to a stranger whom they have been good enough to ask to
their tables； to sit out the meal between two people who ignore his
presence and converse across him； for an Englishman will expire
sooner than speak to a person to whom he has not been introduced。
The French； with the marvellous tact that has for centuries made
them the law…givers on all subjects of etiquette and breeding； have
another way of avoiding useless introductions。 They assume that
two people meeting in a drawing…room belong to the same world and
so chat pleasantly with those around them。 On leaving the SALON
the acquaintance is supposed to end； and a gentleman who should at
another time or place bow or speak to the lady who had offered him
a cup of tea and talked pleasantly to him over it at a friend's
reception； would commit a gross breach of etiquette。
I was once present at a large dinner given in Cologne to the
American Geographical Society。 No sooner was I seated than my two
neighbors turned towards me mentioning their names and waiting for
me to do the same。 After that the conversation flowed on as among
friends。 This custom struck me as exceedingly well…bred and
calculated to make a foreigner feel at his ease。
Among other curious types； there are people so constituted that
they are unhappy if a single person can be found in the room to
whom they have not been introduced。 It does not matter who the
stranger may be or what chance there is of finding him congenial。
They must be presented； nothing else will content them。 If you are
chatting with a friend you feel a pull at your sleeve； and in an
audible aside； they ask for an introduction。 The aspirant will
then bring up and present the members of his family who happen to
be near。 After that he seems to be at ease； and having absolutely
nothing to say will soon drift off。 Our public men suffer terribly
from promiscuous introductions； it is a part of a political career；
a good memory for names and faces and a cordial manner under fire
have often gone a long way in floating a statesman on to success。
Demand； we are told； creates supply。 During a short stay in a
Florida hotel last winter； I noticed a curious little man who
looked like a cross between a waiter and a musician。 As he spoke
to me several times and seemed very officious； I asked who he was。
The answer was so grotesque that I could not believe my ears。 I
was told that he held the position of official 〃introducer；〃 or
master of ceremonies； and that the guests under his guidance became
known to each other； danced； rode； and married to their own and
doubtless to his satisfaction。 The further west one goes the more
pronounced this mania becomes。 Everybody is introduced to
everybody on all imaginable occasions。 If a man asks you to take a
drink； he presents you to the bar…tender。 If he takes you for a
drive； the cab…driver is introduced。 〃Boots〃 makes you acquainted
with the chambermaid； and the hotel proprietor unites you in the
bonds of friendship with the clerk at the desk。 Intercourse with
one's fellows becomes one long debauch of introduction。 In this
country where every liberty is respected； it is a curious fact that
we should be denied the most important of all rights； that of
choosing our acquaintances。
CHAPTER 34 … A Question and an Answer
DEAR IDLER：
I HAVE been reading your articles in The Evening Post。 They are
really most amusing！ You do know such a lot about people and
things； that I am tempted to write and ask you a question on a
subject that is puzzling me。 What is it that is necessary to
succeed … socially？ There！ It is out！ Please do not laugh at me。
Such funny people get on and such clever； agreeable ones fail； that
I am all at sea。 Now do be nice and answer me； and you will have a
very grateful
ADMIRER。
The above note； in a rather juvenile feminine hand； and breathing a
faint perfume of VIOLETTE DE PARME； was part of the morning's mail
that I found lying on my desk a few days ago； in delightful
contrast to the bills and advertisements which formed the bulk of
my correspondence。 It would suppose a stoicism greater than I
possess； not to have felt a thrill of satisfaction in its perusal。
There was； then； some one who read with pleasure what I wrote； and
who had been moved to consult me on a question （evidently to her）
of importance。 I instantly decided to do my best for the
edification of my fair correspondent （for no doubt ente