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whenever we meet mumbles my idiotic joke that the Sirkar rather
patronizes the Black Art than otherwise。 His son is well now； but
Suddhoo is completely under the influence of the seal…cutter； by
whose advice he regulates the affairs of his life。 Janoo watches
daily the money that she hoped to wheedle out of Suddhoo taken by
the seal…cutter； and becomes daily more furious and sullen。
She will never tell； because she dare not； but； unless something
happens to prevent her； I am afraid that the seal…cutter will die
of cholerathe white arsenic kindabout the middle of May。 And
thus I shall have to be privy to a murder in the House of Suddhoo。
HIS WEDDED WIFE。
Cry 〃Murder！〃 in the market…place； and each
Will turn upon his neighbor anxious eyes
That ask：〃Art thou the man？〃 We hunted Cain；
Some centuries ago； across the world；
That bred the fear our own misdeeds maintain
To…day。
Vibart's Moralities。
Shakespeare says something about worms； or it may be giants or
beetles； turning if you tread on them too severely。 The safest
plan is never to tread on a wormnot even on the last new
subaltern from Home； with his buttons hardly out of their tissue
paper； and the red of sappy English beef in his cheeks。 This is
the story of the worm that turned。 For the sake of brevity； we
will call Henry Augustus Ramsay Faizanne； 〃The Worm；〃 although he
really was an exceedingly pretty boy； without a hair on his face；
and with a waist like a girl's when he came out to the Second
〃Shikarris〃 and was made unhappy in several ways。 The 〃Shikarris〃
are a high…caste regiment； and you must be able to do things well
play a banjo or ride more than a little； or sing； or actto get on
with them。
The Worm did nothing except fall off his pony； and knock chips out
of gate…posts with his trap。 Even that became monotonous after a
time。 He objected to whist； cut the cloth at billiards； sang out
of tune； kept very much to himself； and wrote to his Mamma and
sisters at Home。 Four of these five things were vices which the
〃Shikarris〃 objected to and set themselves to eradicate。 Every one
knows how subalterns are； by brother subalterns； softened and not
permitted to be ferocious。 It is good and wholesome； and does no
one any harm； unless tempers are lost； and then there is trouble。
There was a man oncebut that is another story。
The 〃Shikarris〃 shikarred The Worm very much； and he bore
everything without winking。 He was so good and so anxious to
learn； and flushed so pink； that his education was cut short； and
he was left to his own devices by every one except the Senior
Subaltern； who continued to make life a burden to The Worm。 The
Senior Subaltern meant no harm； but his chaff was coarse； and he
didn't quite understand where to stop。 He had been waiting too
long for his company； and that always sours a man。 Also he was in
love； which made him worse。
One day； after he had borrowed The Worm's trap for a lady who never
existed； had used it himself all the afternoon； had sent a note to
The Worm purporting to come from the lady； and was telling the Mess
all about it； The Worm rose in his place and said； in his quiet；
ladylike voice： 〃That was a very pretty sell； but I'll lay you a
month's pay to a month's pay when you get your step； that I work a
sell on you that you'll remember for the rest of your days； and the
Regiment after you when you're dead or broke。〃 The Worm wasn't
angry in the least； and the rest of the Mess shouted。 Then the
Senior Subaltern looked at The Worm from the boots upwards； and
down again； and said； 〃Done； Baby。〃 The Worm took the rest of the
Mess to witness that the bet had been taken； and retired into a
book with a sweet smile。
Two months passed； and the Senior Subaltern still educated The
Worm； who began to move about a little more as the hot weather came
on。 I have said that the Senior Subaltern was in love。 The
curious thing is that a girl was in love with the Senior Subaltern。
Though the Colonel said awful things； and the Majors snorted； and
married Captains looked unutterable wisdom； and the juniors
scoffed； those two were engaged。
The Senior Subaltern was so pleased with getting his Company and
his acceptance at the same time that he forgot to bother The Worm。
The girl was a pretty girl； and had money of her own。 She does not
come into this story at all。
One night； at the beginning of the hot weather； all the Mess；
except The Worm； who had gone to his own room to write Home
letters； were sitting on the platform outside the Mess House。 The
Band had finished playing； but no one wanted to go in。 And the
Captains' wives were there also。 The folly of a man in love is
unlimited。 The Senior Subaltern had been holding forth on the
merits of the girl he was engaged to； and the ladies were purring
approval； while the men yawned； when there was a rustle of skirts
in the dark； and a tired； faint voice lifted itself：
〃Where's my husband？〃
I do not wish in the least to reflect on the morality of the
〃Shikarris；〃 but it is on record that four men jumped up as if they
had been shot。 Three of them were married men。 Perhaps they were
afraid that their wives had come from Home unbeknownst。 The fourth
said that he had acted on the impulse of the moment。 He explained
this afterwards。
Then the voice cried：〃Oh； Lionel！〃 Lionel was the Senior
Subaltern's name。 A woman came into the little circle of light by
the candles on the peg…tables； stretching out her hands to the dark
where the Senior Subaltern was； and sobbing。 We rose to our feet；
feeling that things were going to happen and ready to believe the
worst。 In this bad； small world of ours； one knows so little of
the life of the next manwhich； after all； is entirely his own
concern that one is not surprised when a crash comes。 Anything
might turn up any day for any one。 Perhaps the Senior Subaltern
had been trapped in his youth。 Men are crippled that way
occasionally。 We didn't know； we wanted to hear； and the Captains'
wives were as anxious as we。 If he HAD been trapped； he was to be
excused； for the woman from nowhere； in the dusty shoes； and gray
travelling dress； was very lovely； with black hair and great eyes
full of tears。 She was tall； with a fine figure； and her voice had
a running sob in it pitiful to hear。 As soon as the Senior
Subaltern stood up； she threw her arms round his neck； and called
him 〃my darling；〃 and said she could not bear waiting alone in
England； and his letters were so short and cold； and she was his to
the end of the world； and would he forgive her。 This did not sound
quite like a lady's way of speaking。 It was too demonstrative。
Things seemed black indeed； and the Captains' wives peered under
their eyebrows at the Senior Subaltern； and the Colonel's face set
like the Day of Judgment framed in gray bristles； and no one spoke