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〃And that gave me the answer。 I knew from that night on what it was you really wanted； what it was that had made you do it： safety； security。 It was on your face a hundred times a day； once I had the clue。 I've seen it over and over。 Every time you looked at your baby。 Every time you said； 'I'm going up to my room。' The way you said 'my room。' I've seen it in your eyes even when you were only looking at a pair of curtains on the window； straightening them out； caressing them。 I could almost hear you say； 'They're mine； I belong here。' And every time I saw it； it did something to me。 I loved you a little more than I had the time before。 And I wanted you to have all that rightfully； permanently； beyond the power of anyone or anything to ever take it away from you again…〃
He lowered his voice still further； till she could barely hear the message it breathed。
〃At my side。 As my wife。 And I still do。 Tonight more than ever； a hundred times more than before。 Will you answer me now？ Will you tell me if you'll let me？〃
His face swam fluidly before her upturned eyes。
〃Take me home； Bill；〃 she said brokenly； happily。 〃Take Patrice home to your house with you； Bill。〃
43
For a moment； as he braked and as she turned her face toward it； her overtired senses received a terrifying impression that it was on fire； that the whole interior was going up in flame。 And then as she recoiled against him； she saw that bright as the light ing from it was； brazier…bright against the early…morning pall； it was a steady brightness； it did not quiver。 It poured from every window； above and below； and spilled in gradations of intensity across the lawn； and even as far as the frontal walk and the roadway beyond； but it was the static brightness of lighted…up rooms。 Rooms lighted up in emergency。
He nudged and pointed wordlessly； and on the rear plate of the car already there； that they had just drawn up behind； stood out the ominous 〃MD。〃 Spotlighted； menacing； beetling； within the circular focus of their own headlights。 Prominent as the skull and crossbones on a bottle label。 And just as fear…inspiring。
〃Doctor Parker；〃 flashed through her mind。
He flung open the door and jumped down； and she was right behind him。
〃And we sat talking back there all this time；〃 she beard him exclaim。
They chased up the flagstone walk； she at his heels； outdistanced by his longer legs。 He didn't have time to use his key。 By the time he'd got it out and put it to where the keyhole had last been； the keyhole was already back out of reach and Aunt Josie was there instead； frightened in an old flowered bathrobe； face as gray as her hair。
They didn't ask her who it was； there was no need to。
〃Ever since happass eleven；〃 she said elliptically。 〃He's been with her from midnight straight on through。〃
She closed the door after them。
〃If you'd only phoned up；〃 she said accusingly。 〃If you'd only left word where I could reach you。〃 And then she added； but more to him than to Patrice； 〃Daybreak。 I hope the party was wuth it It sure must have been a good one。 I know one thing； it sure coss more than any party you ever went to in your life。 Or ever likely to go to。〃
Patrice screamed out within herself； wincing： How right you are！ It wasn't good； no； it wasn't…but oh； how costly！
Dr。 Parker accosted them in the upper hall。 There was a nurse there with him。 They had thought he'd be in with her。
〃Is she asleep？〃 Patrice breathed； more frightened than reassured at this。
〃Ty Winthrop's been in there alone with her for the past halfhour。 She insisted。 And when people are quite ill； you overrule them； but when they're even more ill than that； you don't I've been checking her pulse and respiration at ten…minute intervals。〃
〃That bad？〃 she whispered in dismay。 She caught the stricken look on Bill's face； and found time to feel parenthetically sorry for him even while she asked it。
〃There's no immediate danger；〃 Parker answered。 〃But I can't make you any promises beyond the next hour or two。〃 And then he looked the two of them square in the eyes and said； 〃It's a bad one this time。 It's the daddy of them all。〃
It's the last one； Patrice knew then with certainty。
She crumpled for a moment； and a scattered sob or two escaped from her； while he and Bill led her over to a hall…chair； there beside the sickroom…door； and sat her down。
〃Don't do that；〃 the doctor admonished her； with just a trace of detachment…perhaps professional； perhaps personal… 〃There's no call for it at this stage。〃
〃It's just that I'm so worn…out；〃 she explained blurredly。
She could almost read his answering thought。 Then you should have e home a little earlier。
The nurse traced a whiff of ammonia past her nose； eased her hat from her head； smoothed her hair soothingly。
〃Is my baby all right？〃 she asked in a moment； calmer。
It was Aunt Josie who answered that 〃I know how to look after him；〃 she said a trifle shortly。 Patrice was out of favor right then。
The door opened and Ty Winthrop came out He was putting away his glasses。
〃They back yet…？〃 he started to say。 Then he saw them。 〃She wants to see you。〃
They both started up at once。
〃Not you；〃 he said to Bill； warding him off。 〃Just Patrice。 She wants to see her alone； without anyone else in the room。 She repeated that several times。〃
Parker motioned her to wait。 〃Let me check her pulse first〃 She looked over at Bill while they were standing there waiting； to see how he was taking it He smiled untroubledly。 〃I understand；〃 he murmured。 〃That's her way of seeing me。 And a good way it is； too。 Just about the best〃
Parker had e out again。
〃Not more than a minute or two；〃 he said disapprovingly； with a side look at Winthrop。 〃And then maybe we'll all get together to see that she gets a little rest。〃
She went in there。 Somebody closed the door after her。
〃Patrice； dear；〃 a quiet voice said。
She went over to the bed。
The face was still in shadow； because of the way they'd left the lamp。
〃You can raise that a little； dear。 I'm not in my coffin yet。〃
Her eyes looked up at Patrice in the same way they had that first day at the railroad station。 They were kind。 They smiled around the edges。 They hurt a little； they were so trustful。
〃I didn't dream。〃 she heard herself saying； 〃We drove out further than we'd intended to。 It was such a beautiful night。〃
Two hands were feebly extended for her to clasp。
She dropped suddenly to her knees and smothered them with kisses。
〃I love you；〃 she pleaded。 〃That much is true； oh； that much is true！ If I could only make you believe it My mother。 You're my mother。〃
〃You don't have to； dear。 I know it already。 I love you too； and my love has always known that you do。 That's why you're my little girl。 Remember that I told you this： you're my little girl。〃
And then she said； very softly； 〃I forgive you； dear。 I forgive my little girl。〃
She stroked Patrice's hand consolingly。
〃Marry Bill。 I give you both my blessing。 Here…〃 She gestured feebly in the direction of her own shoulder。 〃Under my pillow。 I had Ty put something there for you。〃
Patrice reached under； drew out a long envelope； sealed； unaddresse