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Until at last she'd stopped； wilted and breathing fast with spent emotion。 In its wake came sudden determination。 There was only one way to fight back； only one way she had to rob the attacks of their power to harm…
She flung the door open。 She started down the stairs again。 Still as tearless as she'd gone up。 She was going fast； she was rippling down them in a quick…step。 She was still holding it in her hand。 She opened it up； back to its full size； and started smoothing it out as she went。
She came back into the dining…room still at the same gait she'd used on the stairs。
〃…drank all his milk like a good boy；〃 Mother Hazzard was crooning。
Patrice moved swiftly around the table toward her； stopped short beside her。
〃I want to show you something；〃 she said tersely。 〃I want you to see this。〃
She put it down on the table squarely in front of her and stood there waiting。
〃Just a moment； dear； let me find my glasses；〃 Mother Hazzard purred acquiescently。 She probed here and there among the breakfast things。 〃I know I had them with me when Father was here at the table； we were both reading the paper。〃 She looked over toward the buffet on the other side of her。
Patrice stood there waiting。 She looked over at Hughie。 He was still holding his spoon； entire fist folded possessively around it。 He flapped it at her joyously。 Home。 Peace。
Suddenly she'd reached over to her own place at the table； picked up the department…store circular still lying there； replaced the first letter with that。
〃Here they are； under my napkin。 Right in front of me the whole time。〃 Mother Hazzard adjusted them； turned back to her。 〃Now what was it； dear？〃 She opened the folder and looked at it。
Patrice pointed。 〃This pattern； right here。 The first one。 Isn't it… attractive？〃
Behind her back； held in one hand； the abducted missive slowly crumpled； deflated； was sucked between her fingers into pressed invisibility。
29
Quietly and deftly she moved about the dimly lighted room； passing back and forth； and forth and back； with armfuls of belongings from the drawers。 Hughie lay sleeping in his crib； and the clock said almost one。
The valise stood open on a chair。 Even that wasn't hers。 It was the one she'd first used on the train…ride here； new…looking as ever； the one with 〃PH〃 on its rounded corner。 She'd have to borrow it。 Just as she was borrowing the articles she picked at random； to throw into it。 Just as she was borrowing the very clothes she stood in。 There were only two things in this whole room with her now that were rightfully hers。 That little bundle sleeping quietly there in the crib。 And that seventeen cents lying spread out on a scrap of paper on the dresser…top。
She took things for him； mostly。 Things he needed； things to keep him warm。 They wouldn't mind； they wouldn't begrudge that； they loved him almost as much as she did； she reasoned ruefully。 She quickened her movements； as if the danger of faltering in purpose lay somewhere along this train of thought if she lingered on it too long。
For herself she took very little； only what was of absolute necessity。 Underthings； an extra pair or two of stockings…
Things； things。 What did things matter； when your whole world was breaking up and crumbling about you？ Your world？ It wasn't your world； it was a world you had no right to be in。
She dropped the lid of the valise； latched it impatiently on what it held； indifferent to whether it held enough； or too much； or too little。 A little tongue of white stuff was trapped； left protruding through the seam； and she let it be。
She put on the hat and coat she'd left in readiness across the foot of the bed。 The hat without consulting a mirror； though there was one right at her shoulder。 She picked up her handbag； and probed into it with questing hand。 She brought out a key； the key to this house； and put it down on the dresser。 Then she brought out a small change…purse and shook it out。 A cabbagy cluster of interfolded currency fell out soundlessly； and a sprinkling of coins； these last with a tinkling sound and some rolling about。 She swept them all closer together； and then left them there on top of the dresser。 Then she picked uj the seventeen cents and dropped that into the changepurse instead； and replaced it in the handbag； and thrust that under her arm。
She went over beside the crib； then； and lowered its side。 She crouched down on a level with the small sleeping face。 She kissed it lightly on each eyelid。 〃I'll be back for you in a minute；〃 she whispered。 〃I have to take the bag down first and stand it at the door。 I can't manage you both on those stairs； I'm afraid。〃 She straightened up； lingered a moment； looking down at him。 〃We're going for a ride； you and I； we don't know where； and we don't care。 Straight out； along the way the trains go。 We'll find someone along the road who'll let us in next to him…〃
The clock said a little after one now。
She went over to the door； softly opened it； and carried the valise outside with her。 She eased it closed behind her； and then she started down the stairs valise in hand； with infinite slowness； as though it weighed a lot。 Yet it couldn't have been the valise alone that seemed to pull her arm down so； it must have been the leadenness of her heart。
Suddenly she'd stopped； and allowed the valise to e to rest on the step beside her。 They were sthnding there without a sound； down below her by the front door； the two of them。 Father Hazzard and Doctor Parker。 She hadn't heard them until now； for they hadn't been saying anything。 They must have been standing there in a sort of momentary mournful silence； just preceding leavetaking。
They broke it now； as she stood there unseen； above the bend of the stairs。
〃Well； goodnight； Donald；〃 the doctor said at last； and she saw him put his hand to Father Hazzard's shoulder in an attempt at consolation； then let it trail heavily off again。 〃Get some sleep。 She'll be all right。〃 He opened the door； then he added： 〃But no excitement； no stress of any kind from now on； you understand that； Donald？ That'll be your job； to keep all that away from her。 Can I count on you？〃
〃You can count on me；〃 Father Hazzard said forlornly。
The door closed； and he turned away and started up the stairs； to where she stood riveted。 She moved down a step or two around the turn to meet him； leaving the valise behind her； doffed hat and coat flung atop it now。
He looked up and he saw her； without much surprise； without much of anything except a sort of stony sadness。
〃Oh； it's you； Patrice；〃 he said dully。 〃Did you hear him？ Did you hear what he just said？〃
〃Who is it…Mother？〃
〃She had another of those spells soon after we retired。 He's been in there with her for over an hour and a half。 It was touch and go； for a few minutes； at first…〃
〃But Father！ Why didn't you…？〃
He sat down heavily on the stair…step。 She sat down beside him； slung one arm about his shoulders。
〃Why should I bother you； dear？ There wouldn't have been anything you could have… You have the baby on your hands all day long； you need your rest。 Besides； this isn't anything new。 Her heart's always been weak。 Way back before th