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e mat about the last thing my mother wanted was a child。 But my father； as always； insisted on what he wanted。 And what he wanted was children。 Strangely enough … or not so strangely' … here she gave an odd little laugh … 'he didn't care whether they were boys or girls； just as long as he became a sire。 He's old…fashioned that way； he feels it's a sign of manhood。
'But my mother misunderstood him。 She supposed that he wanted sons to carry on the Tomkin line and that anydiing else
would be considered a failure。 I suppose it's a measure of how far she really was from him that she could have been so wrong about him。
'She was naturally ecstatic that she had given birth to a girl。 So she named me Gelda。 It was a way of getting back at my father without him knowing； you see。 Gelda。 Gelding。 Get it？ Sure you do。' She turned away as if from the memory。
'You could change it；' he said reasonably and for the first time she gave a pletely natural laugh。 It was quite beautiful； he thought。 'I guess I'm just perverse；' she said。 'I carry it now as a reminder。'
'Of what？'
'What's it your business？' she snapped。 All the warmth that； so soon； had suffused her voice； was abruptly gone。
'Look；' he said； 'I'll tell you the truth。' It was a desperate gamble； one which he had hoped not to make。 He had no choice now。 'I need your help with an investigation。'
'With what？'
This was it。 'I think your father murdered Angela Didion。'
'So？'
It was not what he'd expected and he was momentarily nonplussed。
Gelda seemed pleased。 'I see you're speechless；' she said； laughing。 'Good for you。 Did you think I'd say； 〃I hate his guts； copper； but he's still my father？〃 Bullshit。 It wouldn't surprise me if he did kill her。'
'You mean； in your opinion； he's capable of murder？' His heart hammered in his chest； this seemed like a straight gift from heaven。
'In my opinion？' She laughed。 'Yes。 In my opinion my father's quite capable of murder。 Laws； I remember； were not things for him to be concerned with。'
She had moved fractionally so that she was facing him in three…quarters profile and he could see her eyes and the hurt within them； deeply buried。
'Did you know about Angela Didion？' he asked quietly。
'You mean that he was balling her？ Sure。 I was there one day when she walked in。 She did it so you knew right away it was like she owned the place； you know？'
'Did you talk with her？'
She smiled。 'We didn't exactly get along。 There was a kind of instant repulsion； as if we were magnets with the same polarity。'
'I thought you and your old man didn't get along。'
'We don't。' She seemed quite close to him now； though he had not been aware that any shift had taken place。 'But sometimes my father is impossible to ignore。 That happens maybe twice a year。' She shrugged。 'Who knows？ Maybe he wants to see if I've changed any。'
'Changed in what way？' f
'It's none of …' The fire in her eyes died and she said； quite sweetly； 'That I've given up girls。 He can't stand that in me。 I suppose that's one of the reasons I like them more than men。' She shrugged。 'A shrink said that to me once。 I walked out。 I didn't need to pay him fifty dollars an hour to tell me what I already knew。'
'How'd Tomkin e to know at all？〃 ^〃About me and girls？ Oh； he found me at it one day on the summer estate on Gin Lane out near South Hampton。 That was after we'd sold the Connecticut estate； after Mother 。。。 died。'
'What did he do？'
'My mother was a suicide。 He …'
'No； I meant when he found you and the other girl。'
'You know； even my sister Justine doesd't know this part of it； I'd never tell her and； God knows； my father never would。 He treats her like my mother always did。 He dotes on her as if she were a cripple。 She was the baby； after all。 But she was slim and athletic while I was heavy。 No matter what kind of diet they put me on and； believe me； they put me on them all； I never could lose weight。 My mother never let me forget that； she made me ashamed of it。'
She paused。 'I don't know how I got on to that。' She wasn't really talking to him any more。 'Anyway； my father found me with this girl。 It was about a week before my mother died。 Deepest summer。 I had met Lisa on the beach … her parents had the estate at the other end of the Lane … her father and stepmother whom she hated。 Our hate brought us together； I suppose。 But we also loved each other's bodies。 Truly。 There was a
purity to our love that I've never been able to find again。
'It was so hot that day； even so near the water。 Everything was lying limp and bedraggled。 We were lying at the edge of my estate in the lee of a line of high hedges。 We were on the border； clad only in our badiing suits。 It was like we were naked； only better。 We couldn't keep our hands off each other。 We took off our suits and made love。 It was very beautiful。
'We were still holding each other wetly when I saw my father。 I imagine he had been there for a time； perhaps from the very beginning although I have no true way of knowing。
'He saw me looking at him。 His face was red and he seemed to be having trouble breadiing。 He scrambled towards us in a crouch； screaming。 His hands flailed the air。 Lisa was terrified。 She grabbed her suit and ran off down the beach。 My father hadn't even looked at her。
'I lay on the ground； paralysed。 With fear； I thought。 Now I know better。 That first moment when I had looked in his eyes； I knew what he had been doing while he was watching us … it was as unmistakable as the mark of Cain； he made it that way。 I might have been horrified but I was not。 The idea made me excited； he had watched me make love and I had turned him on。
'I watched him e towards me。 There was something clouding his eyes which I couldn't place then。 I had never seen him this way before； I was seventeen。 He seemed a totally different person to the one I had known as my father； he had e out of himself。
'He took me there where I lay； staring up at him； thinking myself helpless under him。 He plunged into me with such force that I cried out and； immediately； I felt his wrist between my lips。 I bit down on it with my teeth； I sucked up the blood I had caused to e out of him。 I felt as if I were being stuffed all the way up to my throat。
'It was over so quickly that for a moment I thought it had never happened。 But there was the salty taste in my mouth and the wet soreness between my legs； I couldn't walk without some pain for two days after。'
She stopped and her head turned。 She became aware of him again。 'There； I've said it； I've spewed it all out and'now that's
supposed to make me feel better。 But you know； it doesn't。 I still feel the same lousy rotten feeling inside。 I loathe myself。 Not because he did that to me。 But because I didn't fight him； because deep down I didn't want him to stop。 I revelled in feeling his e jetting deep inside me。 Oh； God！ Oh； my God！' She was weeping now； her frame shuddering as if it might shake itself apart。
She fell forward and he caught her。 His hands slid under her arms and he stood up with her。 Her legs had no strength and he had to support her half propped against him。 Her shudders transferred themselves to him as if th