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'Well； Vegas； I sure as hell don't know whether Finnigan would want you either。'
'You know he's an okay motherfucker when it es to skin； Jack。 Wassamatter； don't you want to work with me？'
Croaker laughed。 'I sure as hell would love it but right now the old man ain't too pleased with me。'
'Shit！ That ain't no big thing。 You know how he is。 Next time you land a big one an' the mayor hands him another bronze pin； he'll be back kissin' yo' white ass。'
Croaker grinned。 'Maybe so。 Maybe so。'
'Ain't no two ways about it； Jack。'
Croaker longed to tell Vegas about the Didion case： his suspicions and what he was working on。 It was only procedure； after all … you needed a back up in any operation … but he knew that he could not do it。 Not that he did not trust the man … they had saved each other's lives too many times for trust ever to be a factor。 It was unfair to the other man。 It was one thing for Croaker to put himself in departmental jeopardy； quite another to rope someone else in unwittingly。
Croaker reached out； slapped the other's leg。 'Okay； you got it。 I'll ask Finnigan soon's I think the time's right and we got a chance of him not biting my head off。'
Vegas gave him a wide grin。 'I dig。 I dig。' He got up； towering over Croaker。 'You lay it on him an' we'll see what pops up。 Meanwhile； this is one nigger that's got to hit the streets again。 Sallyson's given us all quotas to fill； dig？ Sheeit' He turned and waved。 'Later。'
'Lay one on for me；' Croaker said。
Vegas smiled。 'Only on the prettiest one； Jack。〃
'I don't know； Nick； it seems as if I've been here for a hundred years。' Vincent looked down at the peanut he was shelling。 'It's funny but Tokyo seems like a dream to me； nothing more。'
'You ought to go back； then。 If only for a vacation。' 'Yeah； I suppose I should。' He popped the peanut into his mouth。 。
They walked down the tiered stone steps into the Central Park Zoo。 They strolled over hexagonal tiles； smelling the mingled musk of the animals in the heat。 They walked north； towards the Monkey House。
'But I won't。 I know that now。' 'There's nothing stopping you。 Nothing at all。' Vincent shook his head。 They went down the stone steps to the plaza。 On their left； beyond the great empty cage meant to house the avians； they could see the Seal Pond； where now several new sea lions dived and dashed beside the elderly female； the lone survivor of happier years here。 'It's my family； Nick。 My sisters。 If I went back； I would have to see them。 Duty。 I can't face them。 Not now。 Not after what I've bee。' Near the Monkey House a swarthy man with a thick moustache and a sailor hat stood next to a pair of green metal cylinders。 He made helium balloons in front of the wide eyes of a group of children。 Each time he did it； it seemed like a giant sucking in his breath。 'What have you bee？'
The other turned his head。 'That's just it。 I don't know any more。 But I'm not what I once was。 I've been assimilated； I feel as if I've been corrupted by this place。 My values have changed。 The traditions are crumbling around me。' There was a crowd in front of the gorilla cage watching delightedly as the family inside was hosed down by a female attendant。 The mother reached out and； putting her palm against the nozzle； sprayed the onlookers。 There were squeals and the crowd broke apart momentarily。 Laughing； they surged back towards the cage。 Next door； the haughty orangutan looked on unperturbed； studying the odd creatures through the bars of his cage as if for research for a book。
'e on；' Nicholas said lightly。 'I remember when we first met。 You； Terry and me。 It was at Michita； remember？ We were all kind of lost then … all in the same way。 Which is why； I suppose； we all coalesced at that spot。' He smiled； or tried to at least。 'A bit of home。' He shook his head。 'But what was it that brought us together？ Was it merely that we were all slightly homesick？ I don't think so。'
'Eileen used to say that it was the martial spirit which linked us。 Like a magical umbilicus。 I think she must have thought we were like children in that way。'
Nicholas shook his head。 'No。 You're wrong there。 She respected that in us。 She didn't … I suspect couldn't … understand it。 But she recognized its power and would not interfere。 That was why she always declined to e when the three of us got together。 She knew she would be out of her clement even though we would make every effort to make her feel fortable。 Terry told me once dial she said she thought she'd only inhibit us； and she was right。〃
'I don't know；' Vincent said。 'It all seems so far away to me now； as if we were talking about the customs of Finland。 I'm not sure whether / understand it any more。'
'That's just talk … so many meaningless words。 The way a Westerner would think。 Open your mind and you'll still feel it。 Being here can't make it go away。' He seemed to be telling himself as well as Vincent。 'We were born in the land of the martial spirit。 It binds us more powerfully … tunelessly … to one another than a blood bond。 What has been taught us will never leave us； you know that。 You're still the same person； at the core； who got off that JAL plane twelve years ago。'
'Oh no； I'm not。 Not by a long stretch。 I don't talk the same； I don't think the same way。 America has changed me and the process seems irreversible。 I can never go back。 I no longer belong to Japan and I don't feel like I belong here。 The West has taken something very valuable from me； snatched it away while I wasn't looking。'
'You can get it back。 It's not too late。'
Vincent looked at him； put his hands in his pockets and walked on。 They were near the arch on top of which perched the famous clock that chimed in each hour with a parade of animals dancing in a semicircle。 Beyond was the Children's Zoo； its bright laughter and clip…clop of hastily running feet。
'I haven't told anyone this； not even the police。 I got a deadline call the night Terry and Ei were murdered。' He looked up。 'But the more I think about it； the more certain I am that I did hear something； after all。 Some music。'
'Do you remember what it was？'
'Yeah。 I'm pretty sure it was Mancini。' He did not have to add that Mancini was Eileen's favourite poser。
Vincent shivered。 'It was like Terry was calling to me from beyond the grave。' He lifted a hand hastily。 'I know。 I know。 I don't believe in that kind of thing。 But； damn it！ It was as if he was trying to tell me who did it。'
'You mean he knew the murderer？'
Vincent shrugged。 'Maybe I'm making too much out of it。 I don't know any more。 I just wish … I wish you had been in the city that night； that's all。 Christ； they were your friends； too！'
Nicholas said nothing； stared at the smiling children eating ices； sticking out their patinated tongues at the solemn apes。 He wished he felt something。 Grief was a useful emotion； better that than carrying it around with you like a hump。 He felt an abrupt stillness as if he were at the eye of a raging hurricane。 Safe and protected； he nevertheless was witness to the devastation going on all around him。 Was there a way to stop it？ He knew a way； most definitely； but he was reluctant to take it。 Vincent was sti