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ce of this strike against them proves that Valeri already knows where they are。〃
Then he was turning her around； cradling her。 He pushed her hair off her face。 〃You're trembling so；〃 he said。 〃What's the matter？〃
〃You couldn't possibly know；〃 Irina said。 She took a deep breath。 She could hear again the tromp of the military jackboots； the pounding on the front door； awakening her in the middle of the night。
〃I remember；〃 she began。 〃The moon was obscured by clouds…what an absurd thing to remember！ I can hear my mother's voice； raised； shrill with fright。 And； peeking out of the doorway to my room； I see a man in a black leather trench coat； his face obscured by the wide brim of his hat。
〃 'KGB。 Keep calm。'
''My mother is screaming as the uniformed men under Trench Coat's mand drag my father from his bedroom。
'' 'What do you want with him？' my mother cries。 'He's done nothing！'
〃 'KGB。 Keep calm。'
〃The uniformed men are beating my father as he begins to resist them。
〃 〃This must be some kind of mistake！' My mother is shaking as she moans。 'You're making a mistake！'
〃 'KGB。 Keep calm。'
〃The rubber truncheons are lifting and falling； lifting and falling； and I can't ever forget the awful thick sound they make as they strike my father on his shoulders； his back； his upper arms； his head。 He does not say a word； but I can hear his involuntary grunts with each blow of the truncheons。
〃The uniformed men start to drag my father toward the door； and my mother steps in front of them。 I see her eyes opened wide with panic。 They are filled with a kind of primitive terror I once saw in a rabbit's glazed eyes as it was caught in the beam of my flashlight。
〃 'You can't take him！' my mother sobs。 'I won't let you！' 〃The man from the KGB reaches out and； in an almost lazy arc； slams the back of his hand into the side of my mother's face。 She staggers back； one leg collapses under her； and she crashes into a side table。 A lamp shatters； and she screams。 I can still hear the rage and tenor in her voice。 Tears stream down her face。
〃 'KGB。 Keep calm。'
〃The man in the black leather trench coat drags her out of the path of his men； and they take my father away。 My mother offers no further resistance。 She does not even take a last look at my father as he is manhandled down the stairs of the apartment building。 Her eyes are blank。
〃The man from the KGB is about to leave； but at that moment his head turns。 He had heard something。 Me。 He moves slowly through the small apartment until he finds my room。 I hear him ing in； ing closer。
〃I am curled up in bed； hugging my pillow。 He is across the room in one long stride。 He pulls the covers back； exposing me。
〃 'Irina；' he says。 'Little Irina。'
〃I can't understand how he knows my name。 I am so terrified I don't know what to do or think。 His black leather trench coat is billowing around him like the wings of a gigantic bat。 I can feel my heart beating painfully； like a trip…hammer。
〃His white hand closes over my ankle so that I am stretched out across the bed。 'How old are you； little Irina？' he whispers。 The wide brim of his hat hides his face pletely； so that he seems to be a part of the shadows of the room。 A shadow that holds me fast。
〃 'Eight。' I hardly know how I squeezed that one word out
〃His hand moves up to my thigh。 He touches me there； between my legs。 'Take care of your mother； little Irina。 She needs you。'
〃 'What…What did you do with my Daddy？' I asked him。
〃 'Forget your father；' the man from the KGB says； straightening up。 'He's dead。' 〃
Irina had recited this horrific tale in a dispassionate； detached voice。 But as soon as she uttered the words 〃He's dead；〃 she broke down； sobbing hysterically into Mars's chest。
He held her； gently swinging her back and forth； as a mother will fort a child with night terrors； until at last her sobbing subsided。
''Irina；'' he said gently； ''tell me； did the man from the KGB force himself on you？''
〃You mean sexually？〃 Despite her best efforts； her voice cracked。
〃Yes。〃
She shook her head no。 After a moment's pause she said； 〃But； in a way； what he did was just as bad。 It made my flesh crawl； and when； years later； my first lover touched me there for the first time； I screamed just as if he had thrust a knife into me。〃
〃My God；〃 Mars said； 〃what a nightmare。〃
Mars was right； she thought； though the nightmare was continuing in the present in a way he could not imagine。 Her first instinct was to break off with Valeri。 Then； almost immediately； she saw why she absolutely must not break with him。 In the first place； she saw quite clearly that she must not give Valeri any reason to suspect that she had been spying on him； or that she knew what he really was。 If she broke off with him now； with no good reason； he would undoubtedly bee suspicious。 She knew well that paranoia was the KGB's middle name。
In the second place； she thought； Valeri is evil。 Just as the man in the black leather trench coat was evil。 They're one and the same； and if I run from Valeri； I'll just be giving them another victory over me。 I don't want that。 I 'd like nothing better than to give them back a measure of the pain they gave my father and mother。 I'd like to finally free myself from this nightmare。
She came to her decision： I'll give Valeri to Mars。 Of course； that means implicating Natasha； but perhaps that won't be so bad； what could Natasha mean to Mars？ If I give him Valeri； that's all he'll focus on。
〃I may have found a way to track White Star；〃 she said abruptly。 〃It concerns Valeri Bondasenko。〃
''What？'' Mars frowned。 ''Is this how you have been spending your time； koshka？〃 his frown deepened。 〃I know I told you that Valeri Denysovich is also looking for White Star； but you see he is dangerous； too dangerous for…〃
She said； 〃There's a woman Valeri Bondasenko secretly sees during the day。〃
〃Aha！〃 This clearly interested Mars。 〃A chink in the iron man's armor。〃
Irina said； 〃He obviously cares for this woman； so there is an obvious weakness there I believe I can exploit。 If I can find what Valeri Denysovich and this woman are up to； I think I can use it against him； get the information you want in return for my silence。〃
Mars looked dubious。
''I know what I 'm doing；'' Irina said； ''and I 'm doing it well。''
〃No； Irina。 I can't let you continue your surveillance of him； especially now that I know your background。''
〃You think I haven't the nerve； but you're wrong；'' Irina said。 〃I see now this is something I have to do； I have to face my fear of the KGB in order to overe it。 If you think me weak； Mars…〃
〃No； I don't think that。〃 He smiled。 〃Otherwise I never would have allowed you to follow your instincts in trying to find White Star。〃 He nodded。 〃So be it； koshka。 Well done。〃 The sudden look of admiration on his face flushed her with warmth。 〃My little dove；〃 he said； using the mon Russian slang for a female spy。 He embraced her； kissing her on both cheeks as she had seen Red Army generals do when they greeted one another within the precincts of the Kremlin。
Valeri said； 〃I hope you're not falling in love with Mars。〃
〃What an extraordinary thing to say