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ia is； and she's always had a tendency to spoil you。〃
Tori gave her mother a distant smile； slipping on a childhood mask so familiar she did it without being altogether aware of it。 As soon as she took her first bite of food； she found that she was famished。
Laura Nunn watched Tori devour her breakfast with the kind of pleased attention one normally gives to one's key light； the light that illuminates the star。 〃Ellis promised he'd be home early today。 Now； you promise me； darling； you won't get into a fight with him。〃
〃/ never get into a fight with him；〃 Tori said as if in knee…jerk response。
Laura Nunn rose。 〃Perhaps you'd like a little time to yourself。〃
〃No。〃 Tori reached out； drew her mother back down to the side of the bed。 〃I'm just a little 。 。 。 disoriented。〃 She smiled。 〃Of course I won't get into a fight with Dad。 That's all over and done with。 I promise。〃
〃Good。〃 Laura Nunn smiled at her daughter。 〃Now we can get to what really matters。 Your happiness。 I see that you're still alone。 I was half expecting you to show up with a boyfriend or； well； a male friend of some kind。''
Tori felt her heart contract。 〃Mother； I appreciate your concern。 But I rather think I've given up men for a while。'' She saw her mother blanch； then laughed despite herself。 〃No； no。 What I meant is； for me moment at least I feel like being on my own。〃
〃Oh； darling； that's so sad；〃 Laura Nunn said。 There was a role in Possessed； one of her films； where she played the mother of an innocent outcast； that Tori thought her mother kept falling into。 Or was that an unfair assessment？ 〃But you must have panionship…everyone must。 It's like heat or light； an essential one simply cannot live without。〃
As usual； Tori thought； Laura Nunn's opinion was the world's opinion。 But perhaps she should not be so hard on her mother。 It was true that she carried her mother's expectations for herself as if they could be a cure for her own heartache。 〃People do it
all the time； Mom；〃 she said with a minimum of conviction。 Just another knee…jerk response。
〃But of course they do；〃 Laura Nunn said。 〃That hardly makes it right。 I want you to be happy。 That's all I've ever wanted for you and 。 。 。 for Greg。〃
〃Whereas Dad…〃
〃Now； darling； you promised。 Your father's like a dog with a bone。 I'm afraid he'll never put anything like that away。〃 Laura Nunn looked at her daughter； then hugged her。 〃Oh； Tori； you're so much like him in so many ways。〃
''Well； perhaps that's why he disapproves of me so strongly。'' She had meant it to e out in a light tone； but the bitterness was unmistakable。
Laura took Tori's hands in hers。 〃Oh； my dear； he doesn't disapprove of you。 I can't think where you get your notions。 It's just that he was so 。。。 disappointed〃…was that a catch in her throat； or merely that she had almost used another； more appropriate； word？…〃when Greg 。 。 。 failed to live up to his expectations。〃
〃Jesus； Mom；〃 Tori cried； 〃Greg didn't fail to live up to Dad's expectations。 Greg was killed。〃
〃Well； your father…〃
〃I know。 He could never tell the difference。'' All at once she was aware of how soft her mother's hands were against her own callused ones。
〃Now I've upset you。 Darling； I never meant to。〃
What part was Laura Nunn playing now？ Tori wondered numbly。 〃You haven't upset me；〃 she said； slumping back into her pillows。 〃I'm just 。 。 。 tired。〃 If her mother could use euphemisms； why couldn't she？
〃Of course。〃 Rising； Laura Nunn picked up the tray。 〃You get some sleep； darling。 I've left instructions with everyone that you're not to be disturbed。 There'll be no vacuuming on this floor today。〃
That was something； Tori thought。 Her mother was notorious for demanding that her house be vacuumed daily； including Sundays。 Tori had always harbored the suspicion that in years past she had had this done at least in part to keep her children from sleeping late on weekends。 Sleeping late was； in Laura Nunn's opinion； a sign of laziness。
〃Mom； will you be here this afternoon？〃
Laura Nunn smiled。 〃I've got a meeting at the studio at three。'' She always said ''the studio；'' whether it was Paramount or Warners or Disney。 Just like the old days。 〃Traffic's sure to be impossible that time of day…the stockbrokers are all marching off like lemmings to their health clubs or tennis matches； so I can't imagine I'll be home before six。 But I'll have Maria bring your dinner up herself well before then。''
〃No； don't；〃 Tori said。 〃I'd like to wait until you get home； have it in the dining room。〃
Laura Nunn smiled the smile that one hundred million people the world over knew by heart。 〃We'll see； darling。 Now get some rest； all right？〃
When she was alone； Tori breathed a sigh； as if holding her breath the entire time she and her mother had been together。 It was as if she had been in the presence of a high wattage spotlight。 She felt flushed； her skin slightly singed from being so near the preternatural heat。 She wondered； fleetingly； how her father had dealt all these years with his wife's power over people。
Actors were different from mere mortals。 They tried on and discarded identities and emotions as easily as others did clothes。 This chameleon quality so essential for success on the screen made for plex； unsettling； and； at times； eerie family relationships。 It was often like being lost in a wilderness of mirrors。
The trouble with actors。 Tori had learned at an early age； was that they never stopped acting。 You never knew whether they were doing something…such as inducing an emotion in you… because they were genuine or because it was some form of unconscious exercising of their art。 She did not envy her father's life with her mother。
The lace curtains blew against the window sash； bringing into the room the scents of the jacaranda； the lilac bushes； the bou…gainvillea outside。 Drapes whipping； blown inward by a wind through a hole rent by plastique 。 。 。 scorched fabric and flesh 。。。 the scent of death clogging her nostrils like pollen 。 。 。 Ariel； we hardly had time。 。。。
Convulsively； Tori threw the bedcovers off； let her feet touch the Isfahan carpet。 She stood； felt a brief wave of dizziness； went immediately into prana； breathing deeply； slowly； pletely。
She felt as if she had driven all night from San Francisco to Los Angeles； from the darkness into the light； from monochromatic fluorescence to multicolored neon。 The sun struck her across the face； and she closed her eyes； breathing in the scents as if they were memories： cars and chrome； miniskirts and oversized jewelry； hot…rodding in the Valley； hot groping in the back…seat； lipstick as bright as any neon sign； kohl as black and thick as pitch： desperate attempts to escape her sadness； her prison … Diana's Garden。 I don't want to be back。
She stripped； showered in very hot； then very cold water。 Dressed in a sleeveless shirt and shorts； she put on minimal makeup； then ventured out into the hall。 It was quite still。 She could imagine the servants tiptoeing around the estate so as not to wake her。 She put her hands on the polished antique mahogany banister； peered over the pillar railing down to the great entrance below。 A sea of Carrara marble； bron