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I stared at him。 I guess I would have to get used to it。 St。 Johns was Hearst's top syndicated sob sister。 That meant the old man up at San Simeon had put the finger of approval on me。 From now on； I would be living in a fish bowl。
The car stopped and a doorman appeared。 〃If you'll kindly step this way； Mr。 Cord；〃 he said respectfully。
I followed him up the steps into the hospital。 The white…uniformed nurse behind the desk smiled at me。 She indicated a black； leather…bound register。 〃If you please； Mr。 Cord；〃 she said。 〃It's a rule of the hospital that all visitors have to sign in。〃
I signed the register quickly as she pressed a button underneath the counter。 A moment later； another nurse appeared at the desk。 〃If you'll e with me； Mr。 Cord；〃 she said politely； 〃I'll take you to Miss Marlowe's suite。〃
I followed her to a small bank of elevators at the rear of the lobby。 She pressed the button and looked up at the indicator。 A frown of annoyance crossed her face。 〃I'm sorry to inconvenience you； Mr。 Cord； but we'll have to wait a few minutes。 Both elevators are up at the operating room。〃
A hospital was a hospital no matter how hard you tried to make it look like a hotel。 I looked around the lobby until I located what I was looking for。 It was a door marked discreetly GENTLEMEN。
I pulled a cigarette from my pocket as the elevator doors closed behind us。 Inside； it smelled like every other hospital。 Alcohol； disinfectant； formaldehyde。 Sickness and death。 I struck a match and held it to my cigarette； hoping the nurse wouldn't notice my suddenly trembling fingers。
The elevator stopped and the door rolled open。 We stepped out into a clean hospital corridor。 I dragged deeply on the cigarette as I followed the nurse。 She stopped in front of a door。 〃I'm afraid you'll have to put out that cigarette； Mr。 Cord。〃
I looked up at a small orange sign：
NO SMOKING ALLOWED
OXYGEN IN USE INSIDE！
I took another drag and put it out in a receptacle next to the door。 I stood there； suddenly afraid to go inside。 The nurse reached around me and opened the door。 〃You may go in now； Mr。 Cord。〃
The door swung open； revealing a small anteroom。 Another nurse was seated in an armchair； reading a magazine。 She looked up at me。 〃e in； Mr。 Cord；〃 she said in a falsely cheerful tone。 〃We've been expecting you。〃
I crossed the threshold slowly。 I heard the door close behind me and the footsteps of my escort disappearing。 There was another door opposite the entrance。 The nurse crossed to it。 〃Miss Marlowe's in here；〃 she said。
I stood in the doorway。 At first； I couldn't see her。 Ilene Gaillard； a doctor and another nurse were standing next to the bed； their backs toward me。 Then； as if activated by some signal； they all turned at once。 I walked toward the bed。 The nurse moved away and Ilene and the doctor separated slightly to make room for me。 Then I saw her。
A clear plastic tent was suspended over her head and shoulders and she seemed to be sleeping。 All but her face was pletely covered with a heavy white bandage； which hid all her shining white…blond hair。 Her eyes were closed and I could see a faint blue tinge under the flesh of the lids。 The skin was drawn tightly across her high cheekbones； leaving a hollow around her sunken cheeks； so that you had the feeling that the flesh beneath had disappeared。 Her wide mouth； usually so warm and vivid； was pale and drawn back slightly from her even white teeth。
I stood there silently for a moment。 I couldn't see her breathe。 I looked at the doctor。 He shook his head。 〃She's alive； Mr。 Cord；〃 he whispered； 〃but just barely。〃
〃May I speak to her？〃
〃You can try； Mr。 Cord。 But don't be disappointed if she doesn't answer。 She's been like this for the last ten hours。 And if she should answer； Mr。 Cord； she may not recognize you。〃
I turned back to her。 〃Rina；〃 I said quietly。 〃It's me； Jonas。〃
She lay there quietly； not moving。 I put my hand under the plastic tent and found hers。 I pressed it。 It felt cool and soft。 Suddenly everything came to a wild stop inside me。 Her hand was cool。 She was already dead。 She was dead。
I sank to my knees beside the bed。 I pushed the plastic aside and leaned over her。 〃Please； Rina！〃 I begged wildly。 〃It's me； Jonas。 Please； don't die！〃
I felt a slight pressure from her hand。 I looked down at her； the tears streaming down my cheeks。 The movement of her hand grew a little stronger。 Then her eyes opened slowly and she was looking up into my face。
At first； her eyes were vague and far away。 Then they cleared and her lips curved into a semblance of a smile。 〃Jonas；〃 she whispered。 〃I knew you'd e。〃
〃All you ever had to do was whistle。〃
Her lips pursed but no sound came out。 〃I never could learn to whistle；〃 she whispered。
The doctor's voice came from behind me。 〃You'd better get some rest now； Miss Marlowe。〃
Rina's eyes went past my shoulder to him。 〃No；〃 she whispered。 〃Please。 I haven't much time left。 Let me speak to Jonas。〃
I turned to look at the doctor。 〃All right；〃 he said。 〃But just for a moment。〃
I heard the door click behind me； then I looked down at Rina。 Her hand lifted slightly and stroked my cheek。 I caught her fingers and pressed them to my lips。
〃I had to see you； Jonas。〃
〃Why did you wait so long； Rina？〃
〃That's why I had to see you；〃 she whispered。 〃To explain。〃
〃What good are explanations now？〃
〃Please try to understand； Jonas。 I loved you from the moment I first saw you。 But I was afraid。 I've been a jinx to everyone who ever loved me。 My mother and my brother died because they loved me。 My father died of a broken heart in prison。〃
〃That wasn't your fault。〃
〃I pushed Margaret down the stairs and killed her。 I killed my baby even before it was born； stole Nevada's career from him； and Claude mitted suicide because of what I was doing to him。〃
〃Those things just happened。 You weren't to blame。〃
〃I was！〃 she insisted hoarsely。 〃Look what I did to you； to your marriage。 I should never have e to your hotel that night。〃
〃That was my fault。 I made you。〃
〃Nobody made me；〃 she whispered。 〃I came because I wanted to。 When she came； I knew how wrong I was。〃
〃Why？〃 I asked bitterly。 〃Just because she had a belly way out to here？ It wasn't even my child。〃
〃What difference does that make？ What if she did sleep with someone else before she met you？ You must have known it when you married her。 If it didn't matter then； why should it have mattered just because she was going to have his child？〃
〃It did matter；〃 I insisted。 〃All she was interested in was my money。 What about the half…million…dollar settlement she got when the marriage was annulled？〃
〃That's not true；〃 she whispered。 〃She loved you。 I could tell from the hurt I saw in her eyes。 And if the money was so important to her； why did she give it all to her father？〃
〃I didn't know that。〃
〃There's a lot you don't know；〃 Rina whispered。 〃But I haven't time to tell you。 Only this。 I ruined your marriage。 It's my fault that poor child is growing up without your name。 And I want to make it up to her somehow。〃
She closed her eyes for a moment。 〃There may not be much left in my estate；〃 she whispered。