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with her dark eyes。
〃I told you the view was stunning；〃 she says。
〃I am pleased that my only daughter should be so successful that she is able to afford such a nice place；〃 I say sweetly。
Kalika leans over and kisses me on the cheek。 Her lips are soft and gentle。 She speaks in my ear and there is a trace of concern in her voice。
〃Can you survive such a fall？ Tell me the truth。〃
〃I honestly don't know。〃
She pulls back slightly and strokes my hair。 〃Krishna loves you。〃
I am having trouble breathing。 Her grip is cruel。
〃It is good somebody does；〃 I gasp。
〃Did I ever tell you that I love you？〃
〃No。 Not that I can remember。〃
〃Oh。〃 A deadly pause。 〃I must have forgotten。〃
〃Kalika…〃
I am not given a chance to finish the sentence。
My own daughter throws me over the side of the balcony。
The moon is out； it is true； and it is very bright。 But there is no time to allow its gentle rays to pour into the crown of my head and fill my body to float me safely away as it did when the nuclear bomb threatened to kill me。 At the moment I could be a mortal。 Certainly I fall as fast as one。 Kalika has thrown me toward the pool。 As the bloody mess rushes toward me； I can only pray that I land in the deep end。
When I hit； my arms and legs are spread as far as they will go。 I reason that this will give me more of a chance to break my fall。 But I know even before I strike the water that something else will break when I strike the bottom of the pool。
The shock is crushing。 There is a flash of red followed by an agony so searing I lose consciousness。 But the oblivion is cruel； it does not last。 When I awake my face is pressed into the floor of the pool。 Indeed I have cracked the plaster； and half the bones in my body。 My nose seems to have been obliterated； my face is a pancake of gross tissue。 Inside my torn mouth I feel a lump of crumbled teeth。 My chest feels as if ribs poke through my lungs and my shirt； pouring more blood into the pool。
Honestly； I don't think I can live through this。
Especially under nine feet of water。
The dead float above me； their expressionless faces inviting me to join them。 The water seems to swim with nightmarish creatures。 One of my black boots floats by。 My sock； covered in red； is still inside。 My spinal cord is possessed by a pain demon。 He has brought sharp tools。 I throw up in the water and blood and teeth e out and form a…ghastly cloud over my head。 I start to lose consciousness again； and I know if I do； I will never wake up。 Yet my eyes refuse to remain open。 They are broken as well。 Closing them； I sink into a deeper level of darkness。
Krishna。 Let me have one more chance。 That is all I ask。
To stop her。 To save the child。
My heart keeps beating。 The agony keeps throbbing。
Time goes by but pain counts it at a different speed。 This time is what is called hard time by all those who have suffered。 And hard times bring hard truths。 My brains may be leaking from my ears； but I finally understand that Kalika cannot be defeated by guns and bullets。 Twenty people； maybe more； had to die to make me understand that。
But I will never understand how she can be so cruel。
〃But anyone who sees through the veil of maya cannot fathom the divine will。 The veil is stained and the absolute is without flaw。 One cannot reveal the other。 In the same way； I am your own daughter but you cannot fathom me。〃
No matter how many die； I will not understand。
From far away； I feel feverish activity。 It es； I realize； from deep inside me； in my muscles； beneath my veins； and all around my joints。 My supernatural body is trying to knit itself back together。 Beneath my shirt； I feel my sternum grow back together into one piece。 Next there are pops in my legs and ankles。 The bones are resetting themselves at a frantic pace。 My jaw flexes involuntarily and I feel new teeth pressing up from beneath my mangled gums。 Finally I am able to open my eyes； and I give myself a gentle push toward the surface。 The beat of my heart has turned to a shriek。 If I do not draw in a breath soon； especially with all the repair work going on； my chest will explode。
The night air tastes good。 Never better。
On the surface； I am forced to float on my back for a minute before I am strong enough to make my way to the side。 There is a crowd gathered； and some of the people in it are cops。 I hear screams as I begin to pull myself out of the pool； but a brave cop rushes to my side with a clean blanket。 He is fat with a bushy mustache。 He carefully wraps the blanket around me。
〃You're going to be OK；〃 he says。 〃Just lie here on the deck。 Don't try to move。 You may have broken bones。〃
I wipe at the blood on my face。 I know I don't have much time。
〃You have friends in the other building。〃
〃No； I'm fine；〃 I say。 〃Don't worry about me。〃
I try to stand but he tries to stop me。
〃But you were thrown off that balcony；〃 he protests。 〃It's a miracle you're still alive。〃
I finish wiping my face and hair with his blanket and hand it back to him all bloody。 〃You're a kind man；〃 I say。 〃But I have to get out of here。〃
I move too fast for him to stop me…yet I am far from healed。 Even as I dash across Olympic Boulevard； I feel the tissue inside my body struggling to recover。 If I meet Kalika in the next minute I will be at a serious disadvantage。 Not that it will make much difference。 But it is fear that hurries me along； or maybe it is foolish hope。 Hope that she might have let some of them survive。
In the office building； the elevator takes me to the thirty…sixth floor。 The stairs are too much for me in my condition。 When I stagger out of the elevator； the first thing I see is blood。 For a moment all hope in me dies。 The door to Suite 3670 has been pulverized。 Yet there is a sound； soft words； faint moans。 I hurry forward and peer inside。
Seymour and Dr。 Seter huddle in one corner。 My old friend appears to be taking care of the doctor； who's having trouble catching his breath。 Twenty feet away from them； in the center of the room； the two sharpshooters lie in an ugly heap。 It looks as if she kicked each of them so hard in the chest that she ruptured their hearts…an old Sita move。 Yet Seymour and Dr。 Seter appear unharmed。 I almost weep I am so relieved。
It is only then I notice that James is missing。
〃Where is he？〃 I demand。
They jump and look over。 I am still covered with blood。
Dr。 Seter gasps。 〃We thought you were dead。〃
I stride toward them and look down。 〃Where is James？ Did she take him？〃
Seymour stands and shakes his head。 〃He went after you； right after you left。 We haven't seen him since。〃 He hugs me； there are tears on his face。 〃Thank God you're alive。 We saw her throw you off the…balcony。 I thought it was all over。〃
I fort him； but also catch his eye。 〃That was someone else you saw。 Not me。〃 I turn back to the doctor。 〃You have a heart condition。 Will you be all right？ Should I call for an ambulance？〃
〃I'll be fine。〃 He reaches up。 〃Just help me up。〃
I do so。 〃What happened？〃 I ask。
Seymour gestures weakly。 〃The door exploded and she walked i