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〃Nah; I guess not。〃 Well; she thought; this is the time。 If you're going to bring it up; do it now or forever hold your peace。
〃Danny;〃 she said; making her voice as casual as possible; 〃would you be happier if we went away from the Overlook? If we didn't stay the winter?〃 Danny looked down at his hands。 〃I guess so;〃 he said。 〃Yeah。 But it's Daddy's job。〃
〃Sometimes;〃 she said carefully; 〃I get the idea that Daddy might be happier away from the Overlook; too。〃 They passed a sign which read SIDEWINDER 18 mi。
and then she took the truck cautiously around a hairpin and shifted up into second。 She took no chances on these downgrades; they scared her silly。
〃Do you really think so?〃 Danny asked。 He looked at her with interest for a moment and then shook his head。 〃No; I don't think so。〃
〃Why not?〃
〃Because he's worried about us;〃 Danny said; choosing his words carefully。 It was hard to explain; he understood so little of it himself。 He found himself harking back to an incident he had told Mr。 Hallorann about; the big kid looking at department store TV sets and wanting to steal one。 That had been distressing; but at least it had been clear what was going on; even to Danny; then little more than an infant。 But grownups were always in a turmoil; every possible action muddied over by thoughts of the consequences; by self…doubt; by seIfimage; by feelings of love and responsibility。 Every possible choice seemed to have drawbacks; and sometimes he didn't understand why the drawbacks were drawbacks。 It was very hard。
〃He thinks 。 。 。〃 Danny began again; and then looked at his mother quickly。
She was watching the road; not looking at him; and he felt he could go on。
〃He thinks maybe we'll be lonely。 And then he thinks that he likes it here and it's a good place for us。 He loves us and doesn't want us to be lonely 。 。 。 or sad 。 。 。 but he thinks even if we are; it might be okay in the LONGRUN。 Do you know LONGRUN?〃 She nodded。 〃Yes; dear。 I do。〃
〃He's worried that if we left he couldn't get another job。 That we'd have to beg; or something。〃
〃Is that all?〃
〃No; but the rest is all mixed up。 Because he's different now。〃
〃Yes;〃 she said; almost sighing。 The grade eased a little and she shifted cautiously back to third gear。
〃I'm not making this up; Mommy。 Honest to God。〃
〃I know that;〃 she said; and smiled。 〃Did Tony tell you?〃
〃No;〃 he said。 〃I just know。 That doctor didn't believe in Tony; did he?〃
〃Never mind that doctor;〃 she said。 〃I believe in Tony。 I don't know what he is or who he is; if he's a part of you that's special or if he es from 。 。 。
somewhere outside; but I do believe in him; Danny。 And if you 。 。 。 he 。 。 。
think we should go; we will。 The two of us will go and be together with Daddy again in the spring。〃 He looked at her with sharp hope。 〃Where? A motel?〃
〃Hon; we couldn't afford a motel。 It would have to be at my mother's。〃 The hope in Danny's face died out。 〃I know…〃 he said; and stopped。
〃What?〃
〃Nothing;〃 he muttered。
She shifted back to second as the grade steepened again。 〃No; doc; please don't say that。 This talk is something we should have had weeks ago; I think。 So please。 What is it you know? I won't be mad。 I can't be mad; because this is too important。 Talk straight to me。〃
〃I know how you feel about her;〃 Danny said; and sighed。
〃How do I feel?〃
〃Bad;〃 Danny said; and then rhyming; singsong; frightening her: 〃Bad。 Sad。
Mad。 It's like she wasn't your mommy at all。 Like she wanted to eat you。〃 He looked at her; frightened。 〃And I don't like it there。 She's always thinking about how she would be better for me than you。 And how she could get me away from you。 Mommy; I don't want to go there。 I'd rather be at the Overlook than there。〃 Wendy was shaken。 Was it that bad between her and hermother? God; what hell for the boy if it was and he could really read their thoughts for each other。
She suddenly felt more naked than naked; as if she had been caught in an obscene act。
〃All right;〃 she said。 〃All right; Danny。〃
〃You're mad at me;〃 he said in a small; near…to…tears voice。
〃No; I'm not。 Really I'm not。 I'm just sort of shook up。〃 They were passing a SIDEWINDER 15 mi。 sign; and Wendy relaxed a little。 From here on in the road was better。
〃I want to ask you one more question; Danny。 I want you to answer it as truthfully as you can。 Will you do that?〃
〃Yes; Mommy;〃 he said; almost whispering。
〃Has your daddy been drinking again?〃
〃No;〃 he said; and smothered the two words that rose behind his lips after that simple negative: Not yet。
Wendy relaxed a little more。 She put a hand on Danny's jeans…clad leg and squeezed it。 〃Your daddy has tried very hard;〃 she said softly。 〃Because he loves us。 And we love him; don't we?〃 He nodded gravely。
Speaking almost to herself she went on: 〃He's not a perfect man; but he has tried 。 。 。 Danny; he's tried so hard! When he 。 。 。 stopped 。 。 。 he went through a kind of hell。 He's still going through it。 I think if it hadn't been for us; he would have just let go。 I want to do what's right。 And I don't know。
Should we go? Stay? It's like a choice between the fat and the fire。〃
〃I know。〃
〃Would you do something for me; doc?〃
〃What?〃
〃Try to make Tony e。 Right now。 Ask him if we're safe at the Overlook。〃
〃I already tried;〃 Danny said slowly。 〃This morning。〃
〃What happened?〃 Wendy asked。 〃What did he say?〃
〃He didn't e;〃 Danny said。 〃Tony didn't e。〃 And he suddenly burst into tears。
〃Danny;〃 she said; alarmed。 〃Honey; don't do that。 Please…〃 The truck swerved across the double yellow line and she pulled it back; scared。
〃Don't take me to Gramma's;〃 Danny said through his tears。 〃Please; Mommy; I don't want to go there; I want to stay with Daddy…〃
〃All right;〃 she said softly。 〃All right; that's what we'll do。〃 She took a Kleenex out of the pocket of her Western…style shirt and handed it to him。
〃We'll stay。 And everything will be fine。 Just fine。〃
* 〃Bad Moon Rising;〃 by J。 C。 Fogerty; (c) 1969 Jondora Music; Berkeley; California。 Used by permission。 All rights reserved。 International copyright secured。
》
IN THE PLAYGROUND
Jack came out onto the porch; tugging the tab of his zipper up under his chin; blinking into the bright air。 In his left hand he was holding a battery…powered hedge…clipper。 He tugged a fresh handkerchief out of his back pocket with his right hand; wiped his lips with it; and tucked it away。 Snow; they had said on the radio。 It was hard to believe; even though he could see the clouds building up on the far horizon。
He started down the path to the topiary; switching the hedge…clipper over to the other hand。 It wouldn't be a long job; he thought; a little touch…up would do it。 The cold nights had surely stunted their growth。 The rabbit's ears looked a little fuzzy; and two of the dog's legs had grown fuzzy green bonespurs; but the lions and the buffalo looked fine。 Just a little haircut would do the trick; and then let the snow e。
The concrete path ended as abruptly as a diving b