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knew about wasps from his childhood; counted himself lucky that he had been stung only once。 And; he thought; if Ullman had hired the job done in the height of summer; the workman who tore up that particular section of the flashing would have gotten one hell of a surprise。 Yes indeedy。 When a dozen wall wasps land on you all at once and start stinging your face and hands and arms; stinging your legs right through your pants; it would be entirely possible to forget you were seventy feet up。 You might just charge right off the edge of the roof while you were trying to get away from them。 All from those little things; the biggest of them only half the length of a pencil stub。
He had read someplace…in a Sunday supplement piece or a back…of…the…book newsmagazine article…that 7 per cent of all automobile fatalities go unexplained。 No mechanical failure; no excessive speed; no booze; no bad weather。 Simply one…car crashes on deserted sections of road; one dead occupant; the driver; unable to explain what had happened to him。 The article had included an interview with a state trooper who theorized that many of these so…called
〃foo crashes〃 resulted from insects in the car。 Wasps; a bee; possibly even a spider or moth。 The driver gets panicky; tries to swat it or unroll a window to let it out。 Possibly the insect stings him。 Maybe the driver just loses control。
Either way it's bang! 。 ; 。 all over。 And the insect; usually pletely unharmed; would buzz merrily out of the smoking wreck; looking for greener pastures。 The trooper had been in favor of having pathologists look for insect venom while autopsying such victims; Jack recalled。
Now; looking down into the nest; it seemed to him that it could serve as both a workable symbol for what he had been through (and what he had dragged his hostages to fortune through) and an omen for a better future。 How else could you explain the things that had happened to him? For he still felt that the whole range of unhappy Stovington experiences had to be looked at with Jack Torrance in the passive mode。 He had not done things; things had been done to him。 He had known plenty of people on the Stovington faculty; two of them right in the English Department; who were hard drinkers。 Zack Tunney was in the habit of picking up a full keg of beer on Saturday afternoon; plonking it in a backyard snowbank overnight; and then killing damn near all of it on Sunday watching football games and old movies。 Yet through the week Zack was as sober as a judge…a weak cocktail with lunch was an occasion。
He and Al Shockley had been alcoholics。 They had sought each other out like two castoffs who were still social enough to prefer drowning together to doing it alone。 The sea had been whole…grain instead of salt; that was all。 Looking down at the wasps; as they slowly went about their instinctual business before winter closed down to kill all but their hibernating queen; he would go further。
He was still an alcoholic; always would be; perhaps had been since Sophomore Class Night in high school when he had taken his first drink。 It had nothing to do with willpower; or the morality of drinking; or the weakness or strength of his own character。 There was a broken switch somewhere inside; or a circuit breaker that didn't work; and he had been propelled down the chute willynilly; slowly at first; then accelerating as Stovington applied its pressures on him。 A big grease& slide and at the bottom had been a shattered; ownerless bicycle and a son with a broken arm。 Jack Torrance in the passive mode。 And his temper; same thing。 All his life he had been trying unsuccessfully to control it。 He could remember himself at seven; spanked by a neighbor lady for playing with matches。
He had gone out and hurled a rock at a passing car。 His father had seen that; and he had descended on little Jacky; roaring。 He had reddened Jack's behind 。 。
。 and then blacked his eye。 And when his father had gone into the house; muttering; to see what was on television; Jack had e upon a stray dog and had kicked it into the gutter。 There had been two dozen fights in grammar school; even more of them in high school; warranting two suspensions and uncounted detentions in spite of his good grades。 Football had provided a partial safety valve; although he remembered perfectly well that he had spent almost every minute of every game in a state of high piss…off; taking every opposing block and tackle personally。 He had been a fine player; making All…Conference in his junior and senior years; and he knew perfectly well that he had his own bad temper to thank 。 。 。 or to blame。 He had not enjoyed football。 Every game was a grudge match。
And yet; through it all; he hadn't felt like a son of a bitch。 He hadn't felt mean。 He had always regarded himself as Jack Torrance; a really nice guy who was just going to have to learn how to cope with his temper someday before it got him in trouble。 The same way he was going to have to learn how to cope with his drinking。 But he had been an emotional alcoholic just as surely as he had been a physical one…the two of them were no doubt tied together somewhere deep inside him; where you'd just as soon not look。 But it didn't much matter to him if the root causes were interrelated or separate; sociological or psychological or physiological。 He had had to deal with the results: the spankings; the beatings from his old man; the suspensions; with trying to explain the school clothes torn in playground brawls; and later the hangovers; the slowly dissolving glue of his marriage; the single bicycle wheel with its bent spokes pointing into the sky; Danny's broken arm。 And George Hatfield; of course。
He felt that he had unwittingly stuck his hand into The Great Wasps' Nest of Life。 As an image it stank。 As a cameo of reality; he felt it was serviceable。
He had stuck his hand through some rotted flashing in high summer and that hand and his whole arm had been consumed in holy; righteous fire; destroying conscious thought; making the concept of civilized behavior obsolete。 Could you be expected to behave as a thinking human being when your hand was being impaled on red…hot darning needles? Could you be expected to live in the love of your nearest and dearest when the brown; furious cloud rose out of the hole in the fabric of things (the fabric you thought was so innocent) and arrowed straight at you? Could you be held responsible for your own actions as you ran crazily about on the sloping roof seventy feet above the ground; not knowing where you were going; not remembering that your panicky; stumbling feet could lead you crashing and blundering right over the rain gutter and down to your death on the concrete seventy feet below? Jack didn't think you could。 When you unwittingly stuck your hand into the wasps' nest; you hadn't made a covenant with the devil to give up your civilized self with its trappings of love and respect and honor。
It just happened to you。 Passively; with no say; you ceased to be a creature of the mind and became a creature of the nerve endings; from college…educated man to wailing ape in five easy seconds。
He thought about George Hatfield。
Tall and shaggil