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〃Why don't you fight the bastard！〃 shouted Nobby； at the dwindling dragons。
〃Bitch； Nobby；〃 said Vimes quietly。 〃Not bastard。 Bitch。〃
〃Why don't you fi。。。… what？！〃
〃It's a member of the female gender；〃 explained Lady Ramkin。
〃What？〃
〃We meant that if you tried your favourite kick； Nobby； it wouldn't work；〃 said Vimes。
〃It's a girl；〃 translated Lady Ramkin。
〃But it's sodding enormous！〃 said Nobby。
Vimes coughed urgently。 Nobby's rodent eyes slid sideways to Sybil Ramkin； who blushed like a sunset。
〃A fine figure of a dragon； I mean；〃 he said quickly。
〃Er。 Wide； egg…bearing hips；〃 said Sergeant Colon anxiously。
〃Statueskew；〃 Nobby added fervently。
〃Shut up；〃 said Vimes。 He brushed the dust off the remains of his uniform； adjusted the hang of his breastplate； and set his helmet on squarely。 He patted it firmly。 This wasn't where it ended； he knew that。 This was where it all got started。
〃You men e with me。 e on； hurry！ While everyone's still watching them；〃 he added。
〃But what about the king？〃 said Carrot。 〃Or queen？ Or whatever it is now？〃
Vimes stared at the rapidly shrinking shapes。 〃I really don't know；〃 he said。 〃That's up to Errol； I suppose。 We've got other things to do。〃 。 Colon saluted； still fighting for breath。 〃Where we going； sir？〃 he managed。
〃To the palace。 Any of you still got a sword？〃
〃You can use mine； Captain；〃 said Carrot。 He handed it over。
〃Right；〃 said Vimes quietly。 He glared at them。 〃Let's go。〃
。。。
The rank trailed behind Vimes through the stricken streets。
He started to walk faster。 The rank started to trot to keep up。 Vimes began to trot to keep ahead。
The rank broke into a canter。
Then； as if on an unspoken word of mand； they broke into a run。
Then into a gallop。
People scurried away as they rattled past。 Carrot's enormous sandals hammered on the cobbles。 Sparks flew up from the scads of Nobby's boots。 Colon ran quietly for such a fat man； as fat men often do； face locked in a scowl of concentration。
They pounded along the Street of Cunning Artificers； turned into Hogsback Alley； emerged into the Street of Small Gods and thundered towards the palace。 Vimes kept barely in the lead； mind currently empty of everything except the need to run and run。
At least； nearly everything。 But his head buzzed and resonated manically with those of all city guards everywhere； all the pavement…pounding meatheads in the multiverse who had ever； just occasionally； tried to do what was Right。
Far ahead of them a handful of palace guards drew their swords； took a second look； thought better of it； darted back inside the wall and started to close the gates。 They clanged together as Vimes arrived。
He hesitated； panting for breath； and looked at the massive things。 The ones that the dragon had burned had been replaced by gates even more forbidding。 From behind them came the sound of bolts sliding back。
This was no time for half measures。 He was a captain； godsdammit。 An officer。 Things like this didn't present a problem for an officer。 Officers had a tried and tested way of solving problems like this。 It was called a sergeant。
〃Sergeant Colon！〃 he snapped； his mind still buzzing with universal policemanhood； 〃shoot the lock off！〃
The sergeant hesitated。 〃What； sir？ With a bow and arrow； sir？〃
〃I mean。。。〃 Vimes hesitated。 〃I mean； open these gates！〃
〃Sir！〃 Colon saluted。 He glared at the gates for a moment。 〃Right！〃 he barked。 〃Lance…constable Carrot； one stepa forwarda； take！ Lance…constable Carrot； inna youra owna timer！ Open these gatesa！〃
〃Yes； sir！〃
Carrot stepped forward； saluted； folded an enormous hand into a fist and rapped gently on the woodwork。
〃Open up；〃 he said； 〃in the name of the Law！〃
There was some whispering on the other side of the gates； and eventually a small hatch halfway up the door slid open a fraction and a voice said； 〃Why？〃
〃Because if you don't it will be Impeding an Officer of the Watch in the Execution of his Duty； which is punishable by a fine of not less than thirty dollars； one month's imprisonment； or being remanded in custody for social inquiry reports and half an hour with a red…hot poker；〃 said Carrot。
There was some more muffled whispering； the sound of bolts being drawn； and then the gates opened about halfway。
There was no one visible on the other side。
Vimes put a finger to his lips。 He motioned Carrot towards one gate and dragged Nobby and Colon to the other。
〃Push；〃 he whispered。 They pushed； hard。 There was a sudden eruption of pained cursing from behind the woodwork。
〃Run！〃 shouted Colon。
〃No！〃 shouted Vimes。 He walked around the gate。 Four semi…crushed palace guards glowered at him。
〃No；〃 he said。 〃No more running。 I want these men arrested。〃
〃You wouldn't dare；〃 said one of the men。 Vimes peered at him。
〃Clarence； isn't it？〃 he said。 〃With a C。 Well； Clarence with a C； watch my lips。 Either you can be charged with Aiding and Abetting or。。；〃 he leaned closer； and glanced meaningfully at Carrot；〃。。with an axe。〃
〃Swivel on that one； doggybag！〃 added Nobby； jumping from one foot to the other in vicious excitement。
Clarence's little piggy eyes glared at the looming bulk that was Carrot； and then at Vimes's face。 There was absolutely no mercy there。 He appeared to reach a reluctant decision。
〃Jolly good；〃 said Vimes。 〃Lock them in the gatehouse； Sergeant。〃
Colon drew his bow and squared his shoulders。 〃You heard the Man；〃 he rasped。 〃One false move and you're 。 。 。 you're。。。〃 he took a desperate stab at it；〃。。。you're Home Economics！〃
〃Yeah！ Slam 'em up in the banger！〃 shouted Nobby。 If worms could turn； Nobby was revolving at generating speeds。 〃Doucheballs！〃 he sneered； at their retreating backs。
〃Aiding and Abetting what； Captain？〃 said Carrot； as the weaponless guards trooped away。 〃You have to aid and abet something。〃
〃I think in this case it will just be generalised abetting；〃 said Vimes。 〃Persistent and reckless abetment。〃
〃Yeah；〃 said Nobby。 〃Can't stand abettors。 Slime…breaths！〃
Colon handed Captain Vimes the guardhouse key。 〃It's not very secure in there； Captain；〃 he said。 〃They'll be able to break out eventually。〃
〃I hope so；〃 said Vimes； 〃because the very first drain we e to； you're going to drop the key down it。 Everyone here？ Right。 Follow me。〃
。。。
Lupine Wonse scurried along the ruined corridors of the palace； The Summoning of Dragons under one arm； the glittering royal sword grasped uncertainly in one hand。
He halted； panting； in a doorway。
Not a lot of his mind was currently in a state sane enough to have proper thoughts； but the small part that was still in business kept insisting that it couldn't have seen what it had seen or heard what it had heard。
Someone was following him。
And he'd seen Vetinari walking through the palace。 He knew the man was securely put away。 The lock was pletely unpickable。 He remembered the Patrician being absolutely insistent that it be an unpickable lock when it was installed。
There was movement in the shadows at the end of the passage。 Wonse gibbered a bit； fumbled with the doorhandle beside him； darted in； slammed the door and l