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Carrot saluted。 〃Very good； sir；〃 he said； and turned and trotted smartly back the way they had e。
〃Hey！〃 shouted Vimes； as the boy disappeared around a corner。
〃That's what I like to see；〃 said the first guard； leaning on his speak。 〃That's a young man with initiative； that young man。 A bright lad。 He doesn't want to stop along here and have his ears twisted off。 That's a young man who's going to go a long way； if he's got any sense。〃
〃Very sensible；〃 said the other guard。
He leaned the spear against the wall。
〃You Watch men make me want to throw up；〃 he said conversationally。 〃Pouncing around all the time； never doing a proper job of work。 Throwing your weight about as if you counted for something。 So me and Clarence are going to show you what real guarding is all about； isn't that right？〃
I could just about manage one of them； Vimes thought as he took a few steps backward。 If he was facing the other way； at least。
Clarence propped his spear against the gateway and spat on his hands。
There was a long； terrifying ululation。 Vimes was amazed to realise it wasn't ing from him。
Carrot appeared around the corner at a dead run。 He had a felling axe in either hand。
His huge leather sandals flapped on the cobblestones as he bounded closer； accelerating all the time。 And all the time there was this cry； deedahdeedahdeedah； like something caught in a trap at the bottom of a two…tone echo canyon。
The two palace guards stood rigid with astonishment。
〃I should duck； if I was you；〃 said Vimes from near ground level。
The two axes left Carrot's hands and whirred through the air making a noise like a brace of partridges。 One of them hit the palace gate； burying half the head in the woodwork。 The other one hit the shaft of the first one； and split it。 Then Carrot arrived。
Vimes went and sat down on a nearby bench for a while； and rolled himself a cigarette。
Eventually he said； 〃I think that's about enough； constable。 I think they'd like to e quietly now。〃
〃Yes； sir。 What are they accused of； sir？〃 said Carrot； holding one limp body in either hand。
〃Assaulting an officer of the Watch in the execution of his duty and 。。。 oh； yes。 Resisting arrest。〃
〃Under Section （vii） of the Public Order Act of 1457？〃 said Carrot。
〃Yes；〃 said Vimes solemnly。 〃Yes。 Yes； I suppose so。〃
〃But they didn't resist very much； sir；〃 Carrot pointed out。
〃Well； attempting to resist arrest。 I should just leave them over by the wall until we e back。 I don't expect they'll want to go anywhere。〃
〃Right you are； sir。〃
〃Don't hurt them； mind；〃 said Vimes。 〃You mustn't hurt prisoners。〃
〃That's right； sir；〃 said Carrot； conscientiously。 〃Prisoners once Charged have Rights； sir。 It says so in the Dignity of Man （Civic Rights） Act of 1341。 I keep telling Corporal Nobbs。 They have Rights； I tell him。 This means you do not Put the Boot in。〃
〃Very well put； constable。〃
Carrot looked down。 〃You have the right to remain silent；〃 he said。 〃You have the right not to injure yourself falling down the steps on the way to the cells。 You have the right not to jump out of high windows。 You do not have to say anything； you see； but any thing you do say； well； I have to take it down and it might be used in evidence。〃 He pulled out his notebook and licked his pencil。 He leaned down further。
〃Pardon？〃 he said。 He looked up at Vimes。
〃How do you spell 'groan'； sir？〃 he said。
〃G…R…O…N…E； I think。〃
〃Very good； sir。〃
〃Oh； and constable？'
〃Yes； sir？〃
〃Why the axes？〃
〃They were armed； sir。 I got them from the blacksmith in Market Street； sir。 I said you'd be along later to pay for them。〃
〃And the cry？〃 said Vimes weakly。
〃Dwarfish war yodel； sir；〃 said Carrot proudly。
〃It's a good cry；〃 said Vimes； picking his words with care。 〃But I'd be grateful if you'd warn me first another time； all right？〃
〃Certainly； sir。〃
〃In writing； I think。〃
。。。
The Librarian swung on。 It was slow progress； because there were things he wasn't keen on meeting。 Creatures evolve to fill every niche in the environment； and some of those in the dusty immensity of L…space were best avoided。 They were much more unusual than ordinary unusual creatures。
Usually he could forewarn himself by keeping a careful eye on the kickstool crabs that grazed harmlessly on the dust。 When they were spooked； it was time to hide。 Several times he had to flatten himself against the shelves as a thesaurus thundered by。 He waited patiently as a herd of Critters crawled past； grazing on the contents of the choicer books and leaving behind them piles of small slim volumes of literary criticism。 And there were other things； things which he hurried away from and tried not to look hard at 。。。
And you had to avoid cliches at all costs。
He finished the last of his peanuts atop a stepladder； which was browsing mindlessly off the high shelves。
The territory definitely had a familiar feel； or at least he got the feeling that it would eventually be familiar。 Time had a different meaning in L…space。
There were shelves whose outline he felt he knew。 The book titles； while still unreadable； held a tantalising hint of legibility。 Even the musty air had a smell he thought he recognized。
He shambled quickly along a side passage； turned the corner and； with only the slightest twinge of disorientation； shuffled into that set of dimensions that people； because they don't know any better； think of as normal。
He just felt extremely hot and his fur stood straight out from his body as temporal energy gradually discharged。
He was in the dark。
He extended one arm and explored the spines of the books by his side。 Ah。 Now he knew where he was。
He was home at last。
He was home a week ago before now。
It was essential that he didn't leave footprints。 But that wasn't a problem。 He shinned up the side of the nearest bookcase and； under the starlight of the dome； hurried onwards。
。。。
Lupine Wonse glared up； red…eyed； from the heap of paperwork on his desk。 No…one in the city knew anything about coronations。 He'd had to make it up as he went along。 There should be plenty of things to wave； he knew that。
〃Yes？〃 he said； abruptly。
〃Er； there's a Captain Vimes to see you；〃 said the flunkey。
〃Vimes of the Watch？〃
〃Yes； sir。 Says it's of the upmost importance。〃
Wonse looked down his list of other things that were also of the utmost importance。 Crowning the king； for one thing。 The high priests of fifty…three religions were all claiming the honour。 It was going to be a scrum。 And then there were the crown jewels。
Or rather； there weren't the crown jewels。 Somewhere in the preceding generations the crown jewels had disappeared。 A jeweller in the Street of Cunning Artificers was doing the best he could in the time with gilt and glass。
Vimes could wait。
〃Tell him to e back another day；〃 said Wonse。
〃Good of you to see us；〃 said Vimes； appearing in the doorway。
Wonse glared at him。
〃Since you're here 。 。 。〃 he said。 Vimes dropped his helmet on Wonse's desk in what the secretary thought was an offensive manner； and sat down。
〃Take a seat；〃 said Wonse。
〃Have you had breakfast yet？〃 said Vimes。
〃