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u found。 I didn't want to know where he got them。〃
〃You never asked him？〃 she said。
〃I did； finally。 One night when you were away and I was drunk； he came round with that book you found in the safe； and I asked him outright where he got this smut from。 I wasn't ready to believe what he told me。 You know what made me ready？〃
〃No。 What？〃
〃The body on the heath。 I told you about it； didn't I？ I watched them digging around in the muck and the rain for two days and I kept thinking； What a fucking life this is！ No way out except feet first。 I was ready to slit my wrists； and I probably would have done it except that you appeared； and I remembered the way I felt about you when I first saw you。 I remembered feeling as though something miraculous was happening； as though I was reclaiming something I'd lost。 And I thought； If I believe in one miracle I may as well believe in them all。 Even Oscar's。 Even his talk about the Imajica； and the Dominions in the Imajica； and the people there； and the cities。 I just thought； Why not。 。 。 embrace it all before I lose the chance？ Before I'm a body lying out in the rain。〃
〃You won't die in the rain。〃
〃I don't care where I die； Jude； I care where 1 live； and I want to live in some kind of hope。 I want to live with you。〃
〃Charlie；〃 she chided softly； 〃we shouldn't talk about that now。〃
〃Why not？ What better time？ I know you brought me here because you've got questions of your own you want answering； and I don't blame you。 If I'd seen that damn assassin e after me； I'd be asking questions too。 But think about it； Judy； that's all I'm asking。 Think about whether the new Charlie's worth a little bit of your time。 Will you do that？〃
〃I'll do that。〃
〃Thank you；〃 he said； and taking the hand she'd tucked through his arm； he kissed her fingers。
〃You've heard most of Oscar's secrets now；〃 he said。 〃You may as well know them all。 See the little wood way over towards the wall？ That's his little railway station； where he takes the train to wherever he goes。〃
〃I'd like to see it。〃
〃Shall we stroll over there； ma'am？〃 he said。 〃Where did the dog go？〃 He whistled； and Skin came pounding in； raising golden dust。 〃Perfect； Let's take the air。〃
The afternoon was so bright it was easy to imagine what bliss this place would be； even in its present decay； e spring or high summer； with dandelion seeds and birdsong in the air and the evenings long and balmy。 Though she was eager to see the place Estabrook had described as Oscar's railway station； she didn't force the pace。 They strolled； just as Charlie had suggested； taking time to cast an appreciative glance back towards the house。 It looked even grander from this aspect； with the terraces rising to the row of ballroom windows。 Though the wood ahead was not large； the undergrowth and the sheer density of trees kept their destination from sight until they were under the canopy and treading the damp rot of last September's fall。 Only then did she realize what building this was。 She'd seen it countless times before； drawn in elevation and hanging in front of the safe。
〃The Retreat；〃 she said。
〃You recognize it？〃
〃Of course。〃
Birds sang in the branches overhead； misled by the warmth and tuning up for courtship。 When she looked up it seemed to her the branches formed a fretted vault above the Retreat； as if echoing its dome。 Between the two； vault and song； the place felt almost sacred。
〃Oscar calls it the Black Chapel；〃 Charlie said。 〃Don't ask me why。〃
It had no windows and； from this side； no door。 They had to walk around it a few yards before the entrance came in sight。 Skin was panting at the step； but when Charlie opened the door the dog declined to enter。
〃Coward；〃 Charlie said； preceding Jude over the threshold。 〃It's quite safe。〃
The sense of the numinous she'd felt outside was stronger still inside； but despite all that she'd experienced since Pie 'oh' pah had e for her life； she was still ill prepared for mystery。 Her modernity burdened her。 She 〃wished there was some forgotten self she could dredge from her crippled history； better equipped for this。 Charlie had his bloodline even if he'd denied his name。 The thrushes in the trees outside resembled absolutely the thrushes who'd sung here since these boughs had been strong enough to bear them。 But she w。as adrift； resembling nobody； not even the woman she'd been six weeks ago。
〃Don't be nervous；〃 Charlie said； beckoning her in。
He spoke too loudly for the place； his voice carried around the vast bare circle and came back to meet him magnified。 He seemed not to notice。 Perhaps it was simply familiarity that bred this indifference； but she thought not。 For all his talk of embracing the miraculous； Charlie was still a pragmatist； fixed in the particular。 Whatever forces moved here； and she felt them strongly； he was dead to their presence。
Approaching the Retreat she'd thought the place win…dowless； but she'd been wrong。 At the intersection of wall and dome ran a ring of windows； like a halo fitted to the chapel's skull。 Small though they were； they let in sufficient light to strike the floor and rise up into the middle of the space； where the luminescence converged above the mosaic。 If this was indeed a place of departure； that rarefied spot was the platform。
〃It's nothing special； is it？〃 Charlie observed。
She was about to disagree； searching for a way to express what she was feeling； when Skin began barking outside。 This wasn't the excited yapping with which he'd announced each new pissing place along the way； but a sound of alarm。 She started towards the door； but the hold the chapel had on her slowed her response； and Charlie was out before she'd reached the step； calling to the dog to be quiet。 He stopped barking suddenly。
〃Charlie？〃 she said。
There was no reply。 With the dog quieted she heard a greater quiet。 The birds had stopped singing。
Again she said； 〃Charlie？〃 and as she did so somebody stepped into the doorway。 It was not Charlie； this man； bearded and heavy； was a stranger。 But her system responded to the sight of him with a shock of recognition； as though he was some long lost rade。 She might have thought herself crazy； except that what she felt was echoed on his face。 He looked at her with narrowed eyes； turning his head a little to the side。
〃You're Judith？〃
〃Yes。 Who are you？〃
〃Oscar Godolphin。〃
She let her shallow breaths go； in favor of a deeper draft。
〃Oh 。 。 。 thank God；'1 she said。 〃You startled me。 I thought 。 。 。 I don't know what I thought。 Did the dog try and attack you？〃
〃Forget the dog；〃 he said； stepping into the chapel。 〃Have we met before？〃
〃I don't believe so；〃 she said。 〃Where's Charlie？ Is he all right？〃
Godolphin continued to approach her； his step steady。 〃This confuses things；〃 he said。
〃What does？〃
〃Me 。 。 。 knowing you。 You being whoever you are。 It confuses things。〃
〃I don't see why；〃 she said。 〃I'd wanted to meet you； and I asked Charlie several times if he'd introduce us； but he always seemed reluctant。 。 。 。〃 She kept chattering； as much to defend herself from his appraisal as for munication's sake。 She felt if she fell silent she'd forget herself utt